Talk To Us Tuesday – Week 3

This week, I have a lot of things on my mind but I spewed a bunch of them in my Random Tuesday post. So I think I’ll talk about Friends and Rules.

Before we had children (so as long as 5 years ago), Ash and I found ourselves involved in a Dinner Club with some other couples. Not all of them had kids but most. (Initials used to protect the semi-innocent ๐Ÿ™‚ ) Ti and K had two kids, D and J had one, Ta and H had one… then there was us and one other couple. We went to dinner once a month and had a blast. Well, C and R entered the picture and she and I were pregnant at the same time. So we’re this group of people who have a history and lots in common.

That was your backstory. A couple weeks ago, D set up a zoo outing. And I noticed that C wasn’t there, which I found odd. Her son, P, goes to school with my kids and she’s pretty good friends with Ti. Anyway, I just assumed she was invited but couldn’t go because they were in GA, b/c that’s where her family is and they go on most weekends. Turns out that no, D just didn’t invite C. And man, was she ever pissed. Turns out D had been treating her pretty poorly for a while now. Well, I semi-brought it up at Girls’ Night (D was not there this time). And C shushed me because she didn’t tell Ti about it. I was kind of surprised. See, if I had an issue, I’d ask about it. Especially if there was seemingly no reason for C to have been left out.

This all got me thinking about the dynamic between groups of friends. I was especially tuned into this because every year for Halloween, Ti and K do a big thing at their house because they have a very kid-friendly neighbourhood. She makes a big dinner and has snacks and all and then the kids pile into a trailer pulled by a truck and we Trick-or-Treating. My problem is, that’s really irritating. Getting in the truck, walking to the house (which takes time depending on the age of your child), getting back into the trailer, driving 2-3 houses down… lather, rinse, repeat.

So I sort of blurted out, after my second beer on Saturday, that we might not go this year. And though I know Ti didn’t *really* care, the thing is that now, I’ve set into motion an entire… THING. Next time they set up a get-together, they’ll think twice about inviting me, because if I opted out of one thing, I may opt out again. I know they aren’t trying to be vicious, but I swear this is the mindset. And maybe something like that happened between D and C and that was why she was left off the Facebook invite.

I don’t know but I shouldn’t stress about it the way I do. But I kind of want to just take my kids around our neighbourhood and not worry about the big to-do. I don’t want to do anything to rock the boat but it appears this sort of thing always happens. How do I prevent this except by always saying yes, even when I don’t want to?

7 thoughts on “Talk To Us Tuesday – Week 3

  1. Drama, drama, drama. I like to lay low and stay out of things like this as much as possible. My advice is to stay under the radar until you can’t. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. I get stressed out over the friend dynamics as well – we sometimes have similar issues in my group of friends. I try to stay clear of it as much as possible! It’s hard!!

  3. Big to dos get complicated by little kids. What they have going on sounds fun, but with small kids it sounds complicated. Any time a group happens drama follows. Too bad we can’t all just be easy going and go with the flow. Hope it all works out for you.

  4. I deal with the same kind of silly issues with GROWN women too. It is amazing to me how we all can’t seem to get a long and NOT get our feelings hurt.

    It kinda stinks doesn’t it. Put it all into perspective with all the other issues we could be facing as moms and it makes you crazy!

    Visiting from TTUT.


  5. Blogger hates me. I just left a comment and I got an error message.

    It said something about hating the drama. It’s just so embarrassing that grown adults can get so tacky. I think you’re making a good decision by just doing your own thing.

    Thank you SOOOOO MUCH for linking up with us Sweet Cheeks! =)

  6. Eeek. I agree with Boobies, I always do my best to stay under the radar, and not get anybody riled up. You should probably call the friend who has the Halloween thing, and explain why you can’t come this year (and try to throw the blame on your kids or whatever). Good luck.

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