1. Throwback Thursday: Choose a photo from a previous July and write a poem or a blog post.
I picked this photo because it happened right in the middle of the below post from my blog and I felt it worked for a retrospective of Julys.
THIS original post was in July of 2012. I randomly clicked on a July from my archive and then browsed. I am amazed at how much I was doing back then. Let’s break it down and muse:
Our Fourth was pretty good, I suppose. I went to the store early in the morning to get things for later and a pie, which I made in the AM for our party with the neighbours. The highlight of the afternoon was when Ash thought we’d lost a couple Netflix DVDs and we were all frantically searching and cleaning as we went (which I was actually about to do anyway) and as it turns out, we hadn’t actually received them in them mail yet! But, I got a lot of junk cleared out, so that was nice. Around four, we went next door and hung out with my two neighbours (who are about my parents’ age) and then a younger couple and an older couple they know. The kids lasted about 2-3 hours before they started to go a little nuts and Ash had to take them back over to our house, but all in all, a good time. We were going to go to one of the local fireworks shows but had a feeling neither of them was going to last that long. That is definitely one of the crappy things about July 4th; it’s gets dark too late and young kids can’t last for he show. I ended up putting Isaac to bed and around 9, we did some cruddy little shower fireworks in our driveway. But Elliot liked it so that’s what counts.
Things still felt simpler back then, with only two kids. Sure, we had unexpectedly lost our favorite dog and I remember how many other adult-type things kept going wrong – bills, etc.
Tuesday evening, it was starting to rain but I had to get a run in. I got rained on about 3/4 of the time but while I was out there – and having one of the best runs I’ve had in WEEKS – I changed my life. Runs have been hard lately and I can’t explain why. I just feel drained. But I think the underlying issue is attitude. I have been feeling so sorry for myself and so beat down over the last two months of crap that I’m letting that subconscious sadness dominate everything else. So as I ran, I thought to myself that I am no longer going to dwell on all that shit. I am going to look to the future and think that it will be better. It can be, if I think it so. In that moment, I felt so good about everything. Things looked clear and possible and I didn’t feel the overwhelming invisible burden that’s been breaking my back lately. In the moment, those things always seem so easy. The next day, I was still keeping up the good attitude but it’s hard. It’s really difficult to always be upbeat and easy going, especially when kids have issues and the dogs are in the way, and there’s more work to get done than you have time for. But I’m still plugging away at this new outlook because I want for things to get back to feeling right; they’ve been off for a while. Time to get back on track.
Man, I was really into running. I have been a runner on and off since 2010 but 2012 was a good year for me. I ran multiple half marathons and made it a high priority in my life. These days, I am getting back to it, but not to this intensity. I have been doing about 2-3 miles every other day. I either have plantar fasciitis or a heel spur so I have been rehabbing as best I can: morning stretches, heel support shoe inserts, essential oil, icing. My always present knee issue is still there too and all these little injuries make me feel old.
My brother-in-law is training for a 100 mile race and I cannot even fathom how much of his life is spent out there running. As it is, I have only a small window for leaving my house. But I start half training pretty soon and I am actually looking forward to it.
When we were setting off the fireworks last night, we found some in there that had a strobe effect and Elliot’s shadow was cast upon the garage door in a very cool way. So I ran inside to get the camera and on my way to the kitchen, my flip flop slipped on some little droplets of water and I bashed my wrist on the counter and fell to my left knee. I have a huge knot right below my kneecap and the skin on my wrist is all torn up. These kinds of things are insignificant but I can’t help but agonize over them.
I’d say my life is not so extreme these days. I have gotten things on an even keel, moreso than ever before perhaps. We have evened out as a family and aren’t thrown for too many loops.
My kids are still silly and playful but in new ways. Dakota is in the picture and almost three. Elliot was nearly five whereas now, he’s nearly nine. Nine! I cannot even believe that. Isaac isn’t that crazy yet quiet little boy you see in the background; he’s become much more outspoken but still so sweet.
I get sort of sad and happy when I look back at my years as a parent so far but it never ceases to amaze me, this life we lead.