Two steps forward, one step back


The place where I bit the inside of my cheek during surgery has turned into a terrible sore which is more painful than my actual arm pain.  My arm and my hand actually feel pretty good.  I can’t pick up anything but I can use my fingers a little bit more than I could.  It is amusing to me that I figured out how to use voice recognition so I wouldn’t have to type slowly, and now it hurts to talk.  I think it’s a test; because I’m very quick to think that something – some cosmic force –  is always working against me.  Though I know this is not logically true, sometimes it does seem like it.  Perhaps in this case I have to let that go and believe that sometimes things just happen.

I am taking a half day today; Ash and I are going to the new BJ’s Brewhouse, though eating kind of sucks these days with the mouth pain.  I can keep it at bay by rinsing with hydrogen peroxide and other mouth sore meds, but it still makes eating entirely unenjoyable. Not sure what the weekend has in store for us but it’s pretty cold here.  I’ll probably try to tackle laundry the one handed, which is always pretty annoying.  Elliott has a birthday party tomorrow that I really don’t want to go to, but we’ll probably go to anyway.  It is at a skating rink, so it should be pretty funny to watch all the kids fall all over themselves.

Pretty sure our lives are about to get pretty busy.  Once I get my sutures out, Ash has a Saturday card tournament, then he runs a marathon on the same day as the Super Bowl.  Elliot starts and baseball at the end of February, then Ash has a race in Orlando at the beginning of March and a 50k at the beginning of April. His brother will be here for both.  We may also celebrate Isaac’s birthday a little early because Uncle Elliot will be here.  Isaac has yet to have a birthday with friends – we usually just have family – but this year we have to have a friend birthday.

What it all comes down to right now is that I’m not feeling like myself, I suppose due to the surgery and the mouth pain.  Oh I know that in a week or so I will feel a lot better; for now everything seems like it’s in a holding pattern.  I’m not as depressed as I was this time last year but things feel like they’re just floating, waiting for something to happen.

Maybe I need to make something happen.

One thought on “Two steps forward, one step back

  1. Pain can put us in such a bad place, and mouth pain is just the worst. I think you’ll be fine if you can just push through the painful time. Good luck!

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