- It is overcast and supposed to rain today, which is good for this on-going drought but bad for this here headache I am having. The weather mirrors my mood; I have this feeling like my husband is mad with me but I don’t know why. Though, men seem to go through mood swings every two days or so, so maybe it’s just an offshoot of that.
- Yesterday was pretty productive for us though. We had ground beef and asparagus, then I took the two kids to their respective youth groups. Ash ran and worked on a program he’s been building, then we watched Primal Fear, which was pretty good actually. Props to Edward Norton in that role.
- After we extricated seven bags of giveaway stuff from my daughter’s room, I tried to take it to the Goodwill drop-off center in our neighborhood. The web told me it was open until 8, but on Tuesday when we went, it was closed at 6:15 and the sign said 8-6 only. So yesterday, before taking Dakota to church, we swung in again, at 5:42. And it was closed! I was so angry! My plan is to go straight there after work today. I can’t be having all this stuff in my car!
- It’s getting down to the end of the semester and I feel like I’m not “teaching” as much as I should be but honestly, all four classes need to be reading the books. They have guided questions and we go through them but there’s no fun activities planned. It’s all just too much, with finals coming up. I have to review for that too!
- So I semi-mentioned this thing I had to do that I was dreading. Well, I did it – kind of. To be honest, I essentially keep getting emails that I’m not teaching this online course to their liking, which shocked me because a. I’ve worked there a while and b. I’ve been teaching over 20 years. So for me, it’s kind of embarrassing. But once Winter term ended, I sent my point person an email saying I needed to take off Spring term. And I did; it’s been good to have that off my plate. But that woman called me a few weeks ago and I couldn’t answer but I feel like I am ghosting her. I have felt bad about it for a while but then I just started running away from checking that email. Yesterday, I checked it and then sent her an email about summer term. I have to go back and see her response but I took that first step!
- I don’t know why I do stuff like that; it doesn’t help. But that one thing was the straw on the camel’s back. I felt like my life was piled up and that one thing was just…too much. And the problem is that I think I can do it all when maybe I need to be reasonable about that.
- I do feel a slight weight lifted from my shoulders from doing that. I am so ready to be a little more relaxed here soon. though we have a few more weeks of BUSY until that happens. May is always busy though; all the end of school junk. My daughter has final band stuff, final musical theater things. My middle has AP exams and projects. I have honors night and graduation, as well as administering finals. There’s always an extra fee or two somewhere that puts me out as well. Come on, June!
- Ok ladies, real talk. This whole peri/menopause time in your life. Shitty right? I mean, I never feel like myself. It’s making my kids annoyed, my husband too. Any tips on how to act like myself even though I am suffering?
- Mostly just emotional junk; I can’t really pinpoint any one stress but today, I just feel weak and vulnerable.
- Hence, I decided to leave after 5th. They won’t need to get a sub for me and I am not subbing so it’s free time anyway. Think I will do something for me; bath or sauna. Maybe a walk. I hate the term “self-care” but I probably need to do more of it.
- I texted my husband a lot of my concerns and I am feeling more positive. But all in all, this time in life is very tumultuous and I just need to be more aware.
- I hate to say I am running away from my problems today but sometimes, you just gotta do stuff for you, you know?
- That said, I have 20 mins left in class and I’m out!
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