Well the weather certainly fits my mood today: overcast and gray. I don’t know why but I just don’t feel good. Sad, more like. But there’s really no reason why. Yesterday I missed some stuff in an easy bill to edit so that isn’t helping. I want to be amazing at this job and I realize that I just began and have only gone through one session but I still hold myself to that standard. It’s an interesting dichotomy because I keep thinking that I’m the only one making mistakes but then of course the mistakes that I made were in missing someone else’s mistakes! The problem is that now, with only two weeks left to go, we have to be really hardcore about finding the errors because this is the language that is going to be passed into legislation, most likely. I guess I just dread going to work knowing that I made dumb mistakes. I remember months ago my boss told me that at the end of session he sits down with everybody to debrief and ask how they felt about it, which I think is a nice thing to do as a boss. I’ve already started making notes about what I want to tell him because obviously as the newest person he’s going to want to know how it went for me.

Anyway I feel like I had a pretty good weekend. Didn’t get home until about 7:30 on Friday and I know we watched a movie… Oh yes! Black belt Angels, a really low budget mid ’90s movie. Pretty much fell asleep as soon as it was over. On Saturday, I got an early start on the grocery store and the pool store; the algae just keeps coming back and I can’t figure out why. So I got my chemicals and my groceries and went home to do a few things around the house before Isaac had his 12:30 soccer game. The entire family went out to watch him play, which is unlike us. We usually let a kid stay home but after Elliot’s shenanigans on Friday afternoon, I said he had to go. Long story short, he and his friend said they didn’t have enough money for a pre-workout before the gym so they went to Walmart and drank one off the shelf. They probably would not have gotten caught if it weren’t for the fact that his friend had done it before and Walmart already had eyes on him. I was pretty damn disappointed when my husband called me on Friday afternoon to tell me he just got that phone call.

I didn’t really want to treat him like a criminal so when I finally got home to talk to him I treated it like a one-off mistake and I think that did help. But the problem is that he wants money but he won’t get a job. And it’s not so much that he won’t get a job; he wants to and he knows he has to but he’s being picky about it when I told him he really just has to start applying places. Summer is fast approaching and he’s not going to sit around all summer and ask me for money.

Anyway Isaac’s team played well, though not as well as they normally do, but they still won three to one. We went to Momo’s afterwards for pizza because we had gift cards and Elliot apparently hates that pizza now so I let him off the hook and let him get concessions at soccer and then his friend picked him up from the restaurant to go to the gym. He came home and did the things that I had asked him to do so I let him spend the night but I didn’t feel good about it. I just felt like he needed a little bit more punishment after his antics. When we got home from Momo’s we mostly just drank beer and listened to music and I puttered around the house a little bit. I’m always looking for things I can catch up on that don’t get done during the week.

Luckily I woke up Sunday morning feeling really motivated. After my first cup of coffee I walked outside and saw that the pool was definitely looking better so I brushed it down and then started on some yard work. Everyone else came outside and began to help me as well, clipping branches, taking out some overgrowth, and I ended up mowing the side of the yard that has been driving me up a wall. After we took out a large tree, that area started getting sun again and it was all overgrown with these spiky raspberry vines. I sort of thought that the grass from the yard would grow into that space but it hasn’t yet. We did a really good job taking care of that area and I felt really good about it. Ash and I then went to Lowe’s, Costco, and the pool store for some additional chlorine and then I made tacos. In the afternoon I let the kids get in the pool a little bit even though it was cold and probably had too much chlorine but they had a good time for a while. We watched a movie and I finished up laundry and then I had to actually work for a couple hours but thankfully, there’s only two more weeks left! I am getting pretty burned out and bummed out but I will make it; I know it.

***************

This is a freebie week so here’s a couple songs I’ve been listening to lately: