1. What do you wish you’d done more of last year? Less of?

I wish I had done more feeling. I know that is silly but I realized only recently that I had become a little emotionally distant – clearly a defense mechanism – so I wish I had been more open to letting myself be sad or vulnerable and I wish I had talked about all that with my husband. Less of? Maybe stressing. There’s never really a reason to; I sometime confuse “stress and worry” with action and planning. i.e. I think if I worry that will solve the problem, or at least, push me to. And it has yet to so I’m going to stop!

2. What’s the tallest building you’ve ever been in? Do you have a fear of heights?

I went to the top of the Sears tower, though it’s not called that anymore, right? Below is a photo I took and yes, I do get worried about heights but not inside a building. I also went to the top of the Eiffel tower, which is definitely not as high. I personally don’t like being in a ferris wheel because it’s high and open.

3. Do you have a word for the year? Elaborate if you’d like to elaborate. 

I am going to go with TRUST. I have to trust my husband, to trust in the fact that things do work out and will. I tend to pull away and think everything is falling apart and again, not helpful.

4. January 11th is National Milk Day…are you a milk drinker? What kind? Your favorite recipe that calls for milk (cereal doesn’t count)? 

Not really, though I did grow up on it. People don’t actually NEED milk and once I learned that science, it’s something I don’t barely buy. I use it in our very infrequent mashed potatoes and mac and cheese and sometimes the kids get into cereal but that’s so high in sugar, carbs, and fake stuff, I don’t buy it anymore.

5. What excites you most about the future? What do you miss about the past? 

It pains me to say but I am excited for the changes we’ll experience in the next ten years as our kids grow and leave the house. It will be tumultuous, I know, but also really exciting to see them make their own lives. At the same time, Ash and I will change and become older and wiser.

I miss many things about the past but moreso, how society used to be – or seem – through my younger self’s lens anyway. I do miss how more people used to mind their own business and I miss a less technology-oriented world.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

Yesterday was WEIRD. I woke up feeling normal but my oldest son felt like throwing up and had a sore throat. Right after he got on the bus, the school sent the dreaded “a kid in your child’s class has covid” email so Ash texted me that if the school calls, definitely get him. (We tend to say ‘suck it up buttercup’ about many illnesses that are not serious or contagious) So anyway, I was awaiting THAT call (which never came.) Isaac’s bus was super late so I ended up driving him and on the way back I realized what a fog I was in; everything felt fake and surreal. My arms were heavy and I just felt really depleted. So I took a very hot bath and when I got out, I vowed to sit and work but instead, I got in bed, figuring a nap might help my overwhelming exhaustion. I slept only 25 minutes but when I woke up, I felt fine. I rallied, cleaned my daughter’s mess of a room, then got ready to run.

My running routine is very soothing to me because I like the mechanics of something like that. I drink a little water, then use my massage gun on my legs. Put on all running gear, then stretch and get warmed up. I ran five, wit the latter half being faster (negative splits, they call this) and once I finished, I got in the sauna for twenty mins and took a shower. I no longer felt bad at all! So I went to the store and by then, it was getting on to about 2:30 and my son came home feeling pretty normal as well. I honestly think we may have both warded off something, whether it was omicron or not, we won’t know because testing is actually useless for us. So today, I feel just fine, AND motivated, which is good because I literally didn’t get on my computer at all yesterday. Though I tend not to work or check email on weekends, maybe I just needed a day away by myself.

It’s kind of amusing that this one online school where I work changed the readings the students do and one is about caring for your introvert and man, I totally identify. It’s not that I dislike being with people but it can be exhausting and I need quiet and alone time to recharge. It’s that simple; where extroverts need interaction to thrive, I need the opposite.

So yes, today I am working diligently and I plan to do some house things in and around my online work and maybe apply to more jobs. I have already submitted at least 10 applications so here’s hoping something comes about because the community college was a bust this term!