I am pretty sure that historically, I feel like trash in February. January used to be my garbage month but it has been alright the last few years. February is like the Tuesday of my year. And I HATE Tuesdays. So yes, this month has been super busy and also, just a little unsettling, Though, nothing bad has happened. I just feel off. Actually, I have been keeping up with my bullet journal and I do a monthly mood tracker. I find it hard to really commit to saying a day was bad. Exhausted or frustrating maybe, but never awful. I even put that distinction on my scale… and have yet to use it. So I guess if we’re being fair, it hasn’t been a bad month at all.
If I had to find a way to sum it all up in one crazy sentence, it would be something like:
That’s about the best summary I could come up with. I plod along, finding distractions here and there. I can’t get enough Avatar because they’re amazing. Almost every song is just that good. I want to go see them so badly. They aren’t coming here yet… though I have faith that they will on the second leg of their tour. From what I see on fanpages, it’s super easy to meet them at shows too because they are still relatively unknown; five albums in! It’s inane. Also, if I met them I might die. Especially John and Jonas. Sigh.
I managed to swing leaving a bit early today; 2 pm. Truthfully, my mind is already there. I can’t wrap it around even simple work tasks. I just don’t have the desire in me today. I think putting in insane effort for many years only to be disregarded has finally taken its toll on me. SO, when I leave today, I am going to put the robot in the pool then go to Target for a birthday gift. Ash said he’d take to the party if I got the gift. Seems like a good deal to me! It’s an indoor bounce house place; he knows I hate those. I also need to gather some items for camping. We only go for a night and it’s with friends but we almost never pack enough food or blankets. Admittedly, I think we might be sleeping outside the sleeping bags tomorrow, as it is not cold whatsoever. I may even need to buy some kind of mosquito repellent thing for inside the tent, just in case.
Yesterday was beautiful, if even a little hot. Today is gray and hazy but warm. It’s been weird weather this year so far and I don’t know how to feel about it. Hoping for one more cold snap so I can have a fire. I have firewood on my hearth just waiting to be burned. And then I’d be happy with Spring and Summer arriving. I’ve already started thinking about the beach. The other night I was sitting in my chair, the kids were around doing their things after dinner, and my oldest comes over and randomly says, “Mom, I don’t ever want to go to the beach again.” Boy son, why don’t you just stab me through the heart? I absolutely love going to the beach but he’s annoyed by sand and possible sunburns. But he always seems to have a good time once he’s there. Not sure how to change his mind but maybe it’s just something he has to realize on his own. Or maybe he’ll just always hate what I love most.
Even though I had two days off, I still feel like I need a break. Maybe just a weekend to do a lot of good housework would help, though it won’t be this one.
I think that’s all the brain dump I have for you. Happy Friday!