Struggling/ Coming up for air


  • Lately, I have had a bad attitude about work. It’s difficult to explain but I feel like other staff people are talking about me. I have never felt like this about them before so I’m not sure where it is coming from. It’s possible it’s entirely untrue also.
  • On that note, I have also felt like I am not as adept at this job as I once was. Not necessarily regressing but not feeling as… smart, if that makes sense. I am dropping the ball more, forgetting stuff, not making logical choices. I wish I could explain it better but suffice to say, I feel inadequate. Ugh.
  • I just got an email letting me know that something I have done the same way forever, and have all set for the next term, has changed and I have to adapt. Which, fine, but they acted like I should have already known and I did not. I was not told this AT ALL.
  • Todd is a big stressor for me now too; he’s almost 14 and getting bad about his bathroom habits. I made the choice yesterday morning to leave him out of his crate in the laundry room so I don’t have to clean up the crate.  It was a mess but not too bad; better than making his crate smell.
  • He’s an old animal and I know he’s probably got some kidney issues but it creates such a dilemma. I don’t want to just put him to sleep and you can’t just walk into the vet and tell them you’re done.. But I mean, we kind of are? I don’t know. Any way I talk about it makes me sound like a bad person. But I hate having to always take him out and clean up after him.

Not everything has been difficult lately; I am in a great mood today so let’s be positive:

  • Cobra Kai on Youtube Red was so enjoyable. Cheesy at times, sometimes a little disappointing but as far as being a spin off of Karate Kid, it had some really awesome stuff about it. I’d recommend it to anyone from the era of Karate Kid, 80s hair bands, and feel-good stories.
  • Looking forward to seeing my parents this weekend. Family things are always a little stressful when you have to travel and have kids and all but the 3 hours is manageable and hopefully it’ll be a quick enough trip we can all get along. I like Pensacola and am excited about it.
  • Ash got a lot of his old video gaming/arcade stuff organized in our dining room turned game room. I am pumped because he got me Police Trainer (complete with gun) for Christmas and I used to rock at that game. Can’t wait! policetr

One thought on “Struggling/ Coming up for air

  1. I understand about Todd more than you can know. My Greta is 14 and now she has trouble with her pottying too. I put her in doggy diapers at night, as she sleeps with me. But no matter how many times she goes out and poops, she will walk along the kitchen floor and poop again. I feel like so much of my day is spent trying to care for a dog that is going downhill fast. But I love her and have had her since she was 8 weeks old and I just can’t let go yet. It just isn’t easy…..

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