The fear of not knowing


UGH. Ash is driving with the boys to Orlando today and he’s not answering his phone. One of the worst things EVER. He texted me to ask my parents’ address – obviously for GPS purposes – but then didn’t answer. I can only surmise that a.) he’s on the phone with his brother, who also flies in there today or b.) didn’t hear his phone over the laptop, which is probably in the center console playing a movie for the boys. Still, I just hate worrying. I worry a lot, though maybe less than I used to. But what’s a mom to do when 3/5 of her family is on the roads and it’s raining? I’m finding it hard to concentrate on work when I don’t know if they’re ok.

On the other hand, there’s a part of me that feels alright and believe they’re just fine. I think it’s my leftover Catholic faith that rescues me here. Sure, I may not be an avid church-goer anymore but I grew up in Catholicism and having a strong faith in God. I’m not a bible-reader or a volunteer in the church. I feel bad that I sometimes treat religion like a buffet – picking and choosing what suits me. But I put my mind at ease when I pray and I always remember thinking that if I took anything away from preaching as a child, that it was the power of prayer. And whether there really is a God or not, believing that he’s got my back and won’t let anything bad happen to my family definitely makes me feel a lot better.

****************

Not twenty minutes after crafting this post, I received a text. They were in Gainesville, stopping for lunch. I definitely feel a lot better.

Now I can work on the myriad things in front of me. I ate me a Jimmy Johns sandwich and the day is cruising along. I am looking forward to my evening; I can’t lie. It’s rare that I’m in the house alone (baby girl won’t count tonight 😉 ) so I look forward to having my own time.

 

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