I sat on the couch last night, reading a novella and looking at my Christmas tree – enjoying it before I take everything down this weekend. I felt a little sad and zoned out as I lay there; maybe the weight of all the travel and family and cleaning up had finally hit me and I simply had to turn off my brain. I whole-heartedly appreciated my holiday but thank GOD we are back to the grind today. I really do thrive on routine and so do these kids. Isaac cried his way through the morning, bemoaning the fact that he had to go to school and yet, once he was in the classroom, he was just fine. And Baby Girl didn’t cry when I handed her over. It’s always a little odd getting back to it. I feel off-kilter and trying to find my new year stride.
What is it about a new year that makes us feel simultaneously hopeful and downtrodden? I wrote last year about how January 17th is statistically the unhappiest day for Americans. And yet, we are all elated by the prospect of new things and good stuff on the horizon. Perhaps it is the weather. 2014 began rainy and cold and tomorrow, it’s supposed to be a lot colder. This is typical and yet, I am already over it. I am looking forward to Spring already.
I take solace in the fact that this afternoon, Elliot is going to a friend’s house and I will once again have some quiet. I really appreciate having an office job, most of the time. Not that I don’t love the fact that I have spent all day, every day since the 20th of December with my kids; but it’s definitely time for me to get back into office/working mama mode. I get SO much more done when I can quietly focus on each task. I am great at multitasking – even working with music on- but when a kid is constantly calling my name, not so much. I don’t regret for one SECOND being a working mom. And I hope it can stay that way.
I don’t like to make resolutions but I do like to focus on change, mentally. I will try to be more patient with my children and understanding of things I cannot change in the world. I will focus on being the kind of person people want to be around. (Not that I think I’m NOT but it can’t hurt.) I want to make more time for friends. I know it is sometimes hard to make plans but they can be made. I’d like to write more and maybe find new ways to make money. I want 2014 to ROCK and not SUCK the way the majority of 2013 did. This time last year, I was dreadfully ill with the flu so we’re doing good already, eh?