Falling apart

I don’t think I should feel this clanky. My ankles and knees click when I get up from my desk; I grab a candy corn and begin doing a few sun salutations to work out these kinks. I feel more open afterwards; more pliable and less… I don’t know, chain like. I feel like my bones and muscles are connected by a series of loose chain links and they rattle about. Is this from running?Or am I just getting old?

Yesterday evening, while Ash was out running, there came a knock at the door. I was out in the back with the kids but the dogs barked like mad so I investigated. Some kids who just moved in down the street were fundraising for their school’s one mile fun run. The dogs were clamoring around the door, I had left Ell on the deck and he was moaning about being by himself, and Isaac was whining about something. And in that moment, I became the exact same person who kind of scared me when I was a kid going door to door. Did you sell stuff when you were young? I remember how the old people never bought candy bars because of their diabetes, and there were the frazzled moms commanding screaming children, all harried and stressed as they tried to squeeze out the door and give me one second of their time.

I was that person yesterday and it was a strange realization. I am the almost mid-30s wife/mom/professional who, when examined by some innocent children, seems completely stretched to my limits. At least in that moment I was.

I thought I’d beaten this sickness but today, I don’t feel good. My face aches and I would love nothing more than to lay in bed. The skies are gray and it’s cool out; a typical Fall morning. Normally I love these but not when my body feels like a blob of Jell-O. I have papers to grade and a mid-day meeting but I am honestly considering going home around 2 or 3 and taking that nap, alone in my own home, which so rarely happens.

What do you do to pull yourself from a funk? I need help!


4 thoughts on “Falling apart

  1. I do remember selling candy bars – actually, more like I remember my mom HATING it because my brother and I were so shy about it that she had to do the peddling for us…

    Funks happen. I don’t really know the remedy either – for me, a walk often helps clear my head, but there are times when nothing but hiding under a blanket and eating junk is acceptable… You’ll get through it. Just keep on keepin’ on.

  2. Well, it sounds like being on the verge of getting sick may be contributing to your funk. In that case, I’d say sleep, a good walk, LOTS OF WATER, and as many fresh fruits and veggies as you can stand. If your joints are bothering you, you may try getting some glucosamine pills and see if that eases it a bit (yay for aging!).

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