3. Think back to an important experience in your own past—either happy or traumatic. Pick a single physical detail or action that embodies your feelings about that experience and describe it.

This one came up the other day because Ash has been talking about taking the boys on a ski trip. I went skiing, once, about 20 years ago.

I had never truly seen snow so in December of 2004, Ash and I took a trip to Ohio, where he’s from. His brother was back living there for college and so we made a plan to hang out with him, as well as their father who came to visit from Arizona. While there, we took a day trip into Michigan to do a bit of skiing, which they had done before of course but I never had.

Now, I am not a thrill-seeker in any way so I was pretty nervous. I had all the right gear and I was warm enough, which, if you know me at all, was a kind of miracle. I hate being cold! I didn’t do any kind of lesson or anything but I tackled the smallest hill. Not a bunny slope for kids but the easiest regular downhill route they had. So the first step was to gracefully mount the ski lift. This proved difficult for me as well and of course, Ash and his brother had a laugh at my expense. Anyway, I got to the top of this little hill and just went for it. But I didn’t exactly know what all to do so I held on for dear life.

I became rather worried I was too slow or in other peoples’ way so I started charting my path down on the left side, but quickly realized that it was icy over there. Which then meant my traction was trash. After a couple times, I began falling each time. Once just on my behind, sliding all the way to the foot. Sadly, I then fell and scraped up my face on this ice. It wasn’t noticeable like a scrape but it felt raw and burned. Ash and his family were all enjoying the slopes and I was sort of on my own; didn’t want them to have to hold my hand. But at one point I caught up with Ash and we rode the lift up. By this time, I was pretty deflated and even more so, irritable.

Meanwhile, as we rode back up to the top, he’s feeling all exhilarated and asking what kind of a wedding I’d want. We were as of then not engaged yet so I was pretty annoyed he’d even bother asking. Really, I just kept thinking “I hate skiing’ over and over as my face felt like someone scrubbed it with a sponge coated in icy crystals.

The next day was Christmas morning and we were all gathered in my BIL’s tiny apartment to exchange gifts. It was a cozy little place and I was really happy to be getting to know his family. As we were doling out the gifts to each person, my now-husband got down on one knee and proposed. I never even saw it coming and all because I was so busy worrying about how much the dang ice hurt my face!

I tell that story to this day whenever anyone asks if I want to go skiing. But it’s kind of ironic that from that awful experience came a great one!