You’ve heard people say that you can’t put your kid in a bubble. As in, you can’t always be there to protect them. And I see the value in setting them loose in the world and letting them experience all there is – both good and bad – so that they’re better prepared for adulthood. But there are times when something has to be done for the child’s own good. And that’s what went down yesterday/this morning.
Ash went in to get Elliot in the afternoon and as is usual, they were in the changing room. The teacher has 5 or so kids in there and they are usually playing or watching the small TV in the corner which has on Sesame Street or something. But the giant in their class – the one who has dislocated Elliot’s elbow and busted his nose – was being bad. The teacher punished him and when he got out of time-out, he shoved every kid in that class, even the other bully! My husband lost it. I mean, I’ve never seen him so seething. Because this child not only shoved the other kids but he did it with hatred and malicious intent. And it wasn’t a little tap but an all-out jam into a cabinet. Not like any ol’ rough-housing three year old.
Ash stewed about this all evening, all night, and then this morning, he decided we needed to have a talk with the daycare director. Now, the afternoon teacher mentioned that this was Big Kid’s last week anyway but Ash felt that Elliot shouldn’t have to be in with him for one day longer. So we had a sit-down (wherein I told Ash I wasn’t going to say anything) and the director fully understood where we’re coming from and will let Elliot be in another class for the rest of the week. I felt it was time to step in but now, I feel sorry for the other kids, having to deal with that child’s horrendous behaviour. He’s obviously learning the violence at home and it’s not good.
I didn’t want to be a part of it because Ash would eventually chastise me for something I said so I stayed quiet, even though I feel quite strongly about this. When Ell’s nose got busted, I told the director that I felt we didn’t have any recourse and it made me feel helpless. I told her I wanted them separated. But like all situations where there’s multiple parties and no clear lines, it sort of didn’t go anywhere. In a lot of ways, I am glad Ash stood up for this. He obviously loves our children, I never doubt that. But I liked his severe concern. He had every right to say something to her. I just wish this sort of thing didn’t happen in schools. I wish it didn’t make Ash and I argue. I wish Elliot could just stay away from the mean kids and grow up to be kind and forgiving. But that isn’t how the world works. And I guess we all have to learn that.