While I enjoyed my weekend, I am also not unhappy about being back at work. Sometimes when life is stressing me out, the routine of work and sinking myself into tasks helps me cope.
That being said, if you read at all last week, I for sure am feeling a little down in the dumps. I am working towards feeling more like myself – and sort of accomplishing that – but not quite back to equilibrium. Yet.
Anyway, on Friday, my car did a funky thing and had to go back to the shop, so my husband picked me up from work and we went and had Mexican food. I am not sure what we did that afternoon, if we are being honest. I know that later on, I picked up the kids and then right after, my car was ready. They said it was some leftover moisture from where they’d cleaned stuff off in the engine and that was messing with the sensors. I guess I can believe that. Either way, I got it back. I don’t think I did a dang thing that evening; maybe we watched some more Stanger Things? We are rewatching all the seasons. Oh, I remember: we set out to watch Solar Opposites season 3 but then Ash’s machine through which we play all our stuff was acting up so he was all annoyed by having to work on it. I know he likes to be left alone during those times so I cleaned up a lot and got some various house tasks done.
On Saturday morning, everyone got outside to do yardwork. I cleaned the pool also and then went to the store for lunch stuff. We had about six people over in the afternoon to sample some of the beer we got on our trip and that was fun. Ended up going to Ology for a little while too then I think it was all over somewhere between 6 and 7. Koda had a friend spending the night so we ordered pizza, which I actually didn’t even eat. I was just too full. I did, however, fall fast asleep on the couch by probably 8:30/9. A lot of beer + stress = I sleep.
I woke Sunday just feeling SAD. Hard to explain though. It’s not even so much about my grandpa; he’s older and while I pray he is not in too much pain and can pass easily when it is time, my stress is stemming from so much uncertainty. About money and jobs and when he finally dies and a funeral and all that junk. I literally sat around all morning feeling on the verge of tears, afraid to ask my husband for support. I know, silly after knowing him for 22 years but I hate to appear weak. Finally I broke down, he said all the supporting things I knew he would, and we made a plan for lunch – I was able to move on. Am I feeling “normal” again? Not really but I am making it. I need to sit down and make a list of good things so I can really appreciate all I have – and not focus on this stress.
Since it is a freebie week, I thought I’d pull out some random 80s songs. We have been working on a playlist for our sunroom computer so that we have the best 80s songs and can play them whenever we have folks over. As Ash has been compiling them, it was nice to go back and relive some. Here are a few that come to mind as I think about what he’s been playing: