Thursday 13 – Just random thoughts on my rough week
I’ve spent the majority of the week depressed; partly my friend issues and partly the tropical storm. However, the sun is attempting to shine today and I am SO happy about it.
I noticed this morning that because of the rain, those tiny sugar ants are back. I used to freak out about any bugs in my house because it felt like I was slipping on cleanliness. But now I accept that I live in Florida and if it’s been raining, these little ants are just a given.
Styx is coming here in October and I can’t decide if I want to go. I saw them last year when they opened for Def Leppard but I also don’t want to spend 85 bucks per ticket. My oldest son expressed interest in going with me so that opportunity is what is pushing me right now. I don’t and would not push any of my kids to attend a show with me but if they WANT to, that’s a different story.
I think my sadness this week is due to a lot of things being in flux and uncertain. My office manager and friend has begun maternity leave, our department chair is retiring and I don’t care for his replacement, it’s summer so evenings are different for our routine, and the on-going rain is just garbage. Sigh.
I’ve been having the kind of week where I keep making small mistakes: typing errors, sending a message to the wrong person, not able to speak coherently. This ever happen to you? I feel completely inept as a person! I cannot person!
I haven’t worked out since Sunday and I’m feeling a little blah. I have a heel spur which is none too comfy if I run so I have to use the elliptical. But I am SO unmotivated. Even when I have something to watch on TV, it’s still dreadfully boring. I’m just not sure how to get myself hyped about working out again.
Does anyone REALLY make money on blogging? I keep hearing about people bringing in cash but man, it just seems like you have to really put effort in and kind of whore yourself out to advertisers to make profit.
I’m so into the band Ghost right now I can’t even explain it. I just love them and their mystique. Not knowing exactly what every member looks like (OK, so Tobias, their singer, has been unmasked) really gives them this cool mysterious aura. I know they’re having some legal trouble right now but I’m ignoring all that and immersing myself in their discography and the internet fandom.
I apologized face to face to the friend I hurt and I’m glad I did, though things still seem tense. She kind of let me have it – I deserved it; I messed up – but then we chatted as normal. I’m hoping that the three days between us now will help heal the wound a little. It’s funny how these themes within relationships are prevalent in movies and literature but when they happen to you, they always seem more serious and dire.
I sometimes get to feeling like, “hurry up, time, and pass already” so I can feel better about stuff. And I kind of hate that because a.) of course time cannot speed up and b.) wishing away time is very stupid indeed. I know I ought to be thankful for every minute I get. I know in a year’s time, I won’t feel this sad. I know in maybe a month’s time I’ll feel better. I just have to adult up and get over it.
This week has really tested me. I’ve had to really adult hard and overcome quite a few obstacles. Isn’t it funny how your life can be status quo for a while then something sends it into a whirlwind of craziness?
Next week is when the summer kicks up around here. Way more courses being offered which means my job is a lot busier. Maybe that’s what I need: less time to sit and think.
Anyway, thanks for putting up with my whining and self-pity. I know after this weekend I will feel a whole lot better. I really need to get into my normal and right frame of mind – get back to feeling like myself. I know I can do it! (It might take a long beach day and a whole lot of beer but I will get there!)