Finally got a quiet moment! It is day one of the Fall semester so things are always crazy. If it CAN go wrong, today will be the day it does. I typically see lost students and confused students and frantic ones too. But I am always amazed by the very few who are grateful for my help. One kid even came back after his class to thank me, because he said he was really upset about being late before and knew he didn’t properly acknowledge me. It’s nice to see some kids’ parents taught them to be good.
I have been trying to listen to just one song for the past hour but every time, I get interrupted. I can tell you that every first day goes this way. I can sit here and goof off, waiting for someone to need help or I can start in on a task of any sort and people will need me. It’s pretty crazy how that works.
I don’t feel as energized for the beginning of the semester as I usually do. It could be all the impending things coming up or all the little awkward stumbles lately. You know, the baby’s issue, Ell’s birthday, this party we planned for Saturday that people might not actually show up to. Speaking of baby, I got a call from the nurse at the pediatrician on Friday afternoon at nearly 5 o’clock. She said “everything’s fine” but they want me to bring her back in a month to check her weight. They also sent the results to the gastroenterologist who is supposed to call me. Though I am not entirely sure what for if “everything is ok.” Right? The nurse mentioned to “just keep feeding her” so on Saturday, if she seemed hungry, we fed her. And you know what? She threw up. So… yeah. I don’t know.
This time of year seems so hectic and yet, I think about 2013: at this time, baby was not even a month old. I wasn’t working because I was on leave so I had much less money, Elliot had flag football, and in general, my life was in upheaval. So why does it feel so much crazier now? Will this continue as my children age? I have this fear that I will not be able to cope when, one day, all my kids have left and it’s not like this at all. I want a break now but will I then?
Maybe it’ just back to school blues. As the air turns cooler and we settle into our routine, this will start feeling better, more natural. Until then, I need to learn to relax.