Writer’s Workshop – Something I miss…


Mama’s Losin’ It

This weeks’ prompts were all really good but I chose this one:

5.) Share something you miss from before you were a mom. (inspired by Life’s Unexpected Blessings)

I think the thing – or idea – I miss the most is freedom, but in the singular sense. I am going to fumble my way through this explanation. Try to think back, if this was you, to the days when you were married but didn’t have kids. For us, we got married on October 15, 2005, just a few months after having bought our first home. Elliot was born in late August, 2007. So we had nearly two years all to ourselves as a married couple, though had been together far longer. Before the house, we lived in a townhouse, which was our first time living together without roommates, which we did the three years prior. Though the year in the townhouse was rife with conflict (we “broke up” for a bit) we still did a lot of what WE wanted to do.

I was in grad school and depending on my schedule, I was only on campus 2 or 3 days a week. We joined a gym and at one point, I was going in the AM and then he and I both went after he got home every afternoon. We rock climbed. We went to dinner when we felt like it. We had Friday night get-togethers and drank beer, playing Circle of Death until all hours of the morning. We weren’t reckless but time was ours.

I spent some afternoons sunbathing in our teeny tiny back yard while Todd chewed on a rawhide.

I spent countless hours playing World of Warcraft and planning meals and cleaning and writing.

When we moved into the house, it was more of the same but then we had projects. Home improvement stuff. We still went to the rock gym and ate leisurely meals at restaurants and had parties. We were as free as anyone could be, even as the weight of bills and adulthood settled in. It was still manageable.

Once Elliot came along, things got hectic but looking back, one child is very manageable. But still, the biggest change was not being able to just drop everything and say, let’s go here. It is even more so with two kids and I have changed into a person who is almost happier to just sit around the house on weekends, though sometimes I do get a spur to really get out and DO.

I suppose this is just how life transforms and morphs through time; I like where we are and our kids and what we do. But sometimes, when I get seriously overwrought and overwhelmed, I miss those days when I had so much free time and it was mine.

4 thoughts on “Writer’s Workshop – Something I miss…

  1. Just wait, when your kids reach school age… you will get this ‘me time’ back and it will seem really, really weird.

    At least that is where I am at.

  2. I can imagine how you’d miss the freedom, even just a little bit.

    My friends who are married with kids often tell me that they wish they could trade with me, but I have the feeling they’re not telling the truth. Their lives are filled with busy happy family activites, and while I’m sure its often stressful and overwhelming, I’d give up my freedom for that in a heartbeat.

  3. I miss spending whole afternoons reading uninterrupted. I still read, but not with the same single mindedness. We were never really get out and party people, but I do miss the going out together at the same time on occasion–now we have to coordinate kid care and rarely do we got out together.
    You’re right, it’s the freedom to do what ever I wanted, when I wanted with only Nick to worry about that I miss.

  4. I hear ya…it always seems like I am in go mode as there is always something to do, or to clean, or to pick up, or to not let them stick in their mouth. It’s nice to have nap time still, but something that time just goes by way too fast!

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