Never Enough

Ash likes to throw around the phrase – reminiscent of the James Bond film – “Sometimes… the world is not enough.” And I roll my eyes and go back to reading or whatever he’s interrupted. But you know, there’s some credence to this statement. Sometimes, it just isn’t enough, no matter what you “get”, you always want more. And I don’t just mean material things, though my first inclination is to think about money. I am planning – carefully – my next few summer paychecks, which are inflated due to the way pay gets distributed in these semesters. And after catching up on things and saving some, I’m still broke. And it’s just never enough.

We had an excellent weekend: pool with some friends, Mexican food, dog walking, lawn mowing,  nap time, playground, movies. It was over before I knew it and I wanted more time. Conversely, I was so happy for it to be a new week so I could get a break from the kids, much as I love them. The brief window of naps is never enough time to actually accomplish anything.

And sometimes I feel like a total heel because I’m over here with my paid off car and our big SUV and our four bedroom home and nice yard and quiet neighborhood and two healthy kids and the ability to pay all our bills and NO credit cards and think, God, what am I complaining about??

How hard is it to really be thankful for what you have? Perhaps this is just the product of American society. We want it bigger, better, we want more, super-sized, everything we can get our hands on. And as much as I do appreciate small things, I still find myself wanting more and overlooking the sweetest things that make life worth living: fireflies during my evening run, Isaac’s laughter, Elliot giving me random kisses, Ash remembering to ask about my day. These make me happy for the briefest of moments but they bridge the gaps between the moments of stress and the worrying, like a pearl necklace, they are the string between the “big things” that I, as an adult, must worry about day in and day out.

I found myself unnaturally at ease with money yesterday. I even had to pause and take note of how not worried I was at that exact second. If only I could do this with every little good thing in life, man, I’d be golden.


4 thoughts on “Never Enough

  1. Great post. You are right, sometimes we get caught up in wanting more that we fail to appreciate what we already have. I have been thinking a lot lately about trying to lead a more “simple” life and getting rid of all of the material things in my house that I don’t use. Then I realize how much cleaning that would entail. I would rather spend that time with my boys .

  2. You are so right. It’s hard to maintain perspective and not get caught up in a complicated life consumed by taking care of THINGS instead of people! It’s all about the relationships!

  3. You’re right, we often times get so caught up in everything going on around us we forget to stop and think about the good things that we have.

    Like Brenna, I’m trying to cut back myself. Cut back on my spending, getting rid of all the unnecessary, spending time away from the technology and media that is holding me down, interestingly enough a lot of it stems from needing more cash to live life but the more I’m peeling away from the more I’m allowing myself to enjoy!

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