I may have mentioned that Ash would like to move. Not necessarily soon. As in, this year. But in the not too distant future. A lot of things are changing in Florida. We have a really shitty governor who is cutting too much and not giving enough back. The promise of raises has been gone for a while now and personally, Ash really never did like Tallahassee anyway. It grew on me and I settled in, made friends. Made a life. I’d like to believe I am OK with the talks of moving but in all reality, it downright scares me.
I hate change.
That’s the truth of it. If I were to find a new job, that I could handle. I would be sad to leave this place but would know I’d just be down the road or across town.But moving states and states away from not only the friends I have here but my family four hours South… that’s just too epic for my brain to handle.
And I know that we never intended to stay here forever. And I know that I will make a new life for us. And I know that this is for the betterment of our family, our future. You gotta do what you gotta do… and all that. But that doesn’t mean I like it any. In some ways, I do feel excited about a new job and a new place to learn about and even a new house. Though, out of curiosity, I went looking for houses in the Austin, Texas area (that’s one of our top choices) on the web. I searched for places in our price range and – just for fun – started looking at things I would like and could live with. And then I kept noticing that all the kitchens had gas ranges and I don’t like gas, and then – not even kidding – I cried. I really just don’t cope well with change. I thought about how I’d have to acclimate to this entirely new building style and just get used to so much. It would feel all foreign.
But nothing ever happens if you keep doing the same thing over and over. We could use a new chapter in our lives, especially if Isaac is our last baby. If we’re going to stick to only two kids, then we need to start making things happen. Experiencing things. Making memories.
I don’t know if we’ll make this all happen but in the meantime, it is both daunting and exciting to think about how things could change and in a small way, I really do like that.