Ennui


After last week when I was so slammed I had to put things on hold and work off of multiple lists, I was thankful for some down time this week. I am finding my way to a productive balanced day. In the mornings, I check email and catch up on things for class. But by mid-afternoon, I start to feel so BORED, though there are certainly things I could be doing. I have always had this problem. Although I am typically good at managing myself and my time, for the most part, I can easily slide into a pattern of restlessness; lacking motivation. This afternoon has proven especially difficult. I have opened up my notes for class then closed them, feeling a distinct lack of anything insightful to say.

I opened up my current piece of fiction but only edited a few lines before giving up. I chewed on a pen. I texted someone. I stood and touched my toes. At the one window in my office, I people-watched during the break between classes. A skateboarder was weaving between students, the clickclickclick of his wheels on the sidewalk a soundtrack to the din of chattering people.

I open a new tab in Firefox but don’t type anything in. Facebook. No new statuses. Twitter. Nothing interesting. Tumblr. Mindless drivel that entertains me for all of sixty seconds. Back to the computer, back to my Word doc. I changed the name of my main male character from Barrett to Cam. I selected and replaced all. Now I feel like I accomplished something, small as it is.

I glance at the corner: 3:54. Still not time to go home.

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