Ringing in the new year with a can of Red Bull

OK, the title is sort of misleading since I don’t drink Red Bull; it makes me all shaky. But I may need some kind of stimulant to stay awake until midnight, because that’s how sad I have become. Last night, right after Elliot went to bed, we watched Wanted ( Thomas Kretschmann is one tasty man; rawrr) and when it was over, at something like 9, I was amazed at how much time I had to do whatever I wanted. And somehow I still fell asleep around 11, reading in bed. Which, I might add, was perfectly awesome. I so rarely do that because I’m normally so exhausted that I get about 4 or 5 lines read before I’m comatose on top of the book, spilling a pool of slobber into the crease of the pages.

With that said, we have no real plans for New Years Eve and of course, it will be a miracle if I make it to midnight, though I will certainly try. A friend of mine is having a party, which I would love to attend but there’s no good way of dealing with Elliot. But this is what it means to have children. And on that topic, I am officially birth control free and if it happens, well, then we’re onto child # 2. I am scared and nervous and yet somehow, immensely more confident. I am sure this pregnancy will be different in a lot of ways or at least some ways. And that’s sort of exciting. I hope I don’t have carpal tunnel as badly as the first time but everything else will be fine; it will pass quickly enough. And then, of course, I am nervous about labor again and the pain, etc. But then, this is all very far off and not yet a reality as I am not pregnant. Yet. But I tend to over think and get ahead of myself.

But in a way, that’s what I am using to label 2009: the year of kidlet 2, more breastfeeding, juggling newborn and toddler. My plans for 2010 include finding a new job. Hopefully, all of this can happen in some way, shape or form. We cannot predict the future but I do hope we can mold it to our liking. Here’s wishing everyone a wonderful New Year’s Eve (drive safely!) and much luck and prosperity in 2009!


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