- I feel like it’s been a weird couple of days. Yesterday I didn’t feel like myself at all. I tried to decorate and I’d get one garland up on a beam in my sun room and feel entirely put out. I’d sit down and play a twitch game for a second then go back to it, feeling entirely devoid of any Christmas spirit.
- I forced myself to take a run around noon and it was good for me. But when I got back and showered, I sat down and just felt TIRED. I don’t know if my body was done or my brain; I just know the 45 minute nap I took helped. I was finally able to get up and do stuff.
- But honestly, this time of year has me so run ragged, it’s nuts. It’s cold so you’d think I’d feel the Christmas vibe but I don’t. We’ve been watching movies too and I just don’t feel the warmth. It isn’t so much the on-going worry over finding more consistent work anymore; I came to terms with the fact that God has the plan for me and I have to trust that his calendar isn’t the same as mine. It’s just a total lack of excitement about the season.
- Isn’t that sad? I’ve had years where I couldn’t find it but it always showed up. Maybe after we get around to watching It‘s a Wonderful Life.
- Perhaps it has to do with my kids being older; they’re hard to shop for and I see so much futility in buying “useless” items. Plus, they don’t find joy in as many useless things. When they’re little, half the crap they want is completely throw-away but their little kid brains find excitement in it. Hell, they liked the box more than the item sometimes. But we don’t live in that world anymore and by extension, I too don’t feel as excited.
- I don’t know how to fix my problem; I work on things in the am then go out, do some shopping. Well, more like browsing without finding anything worth a damn. I have been able to find a couple things for my daughter but everyone else is way too hard to shop for and at this point, I’m over the struggle. Here’s your big gift and a pair of socks and remember: we took a big summer vacation and a weekend Sea World visit so… yeah.
- I’m off to look in vain for gifts for my husband and then I’m going to eat Chipotle. I’m going to leave you with this song, which I am listening to on a loop until I feel…something akin to Christmasy.
incognitusscriptor.com 
I’m at work and my back is killing me and I’m not in the Christmas spirit either (and I work in a church!) but I just opened spotify and I’m going to listen to Gloria Estafan — thanks for posting!
You know what might help? Egg nog, with plenty of rum…
LOL
If your sons and/or hubby like sports teams, gifts with a favorite team’s logo may be good and easy presents. I found a bunch of UC and Bengals merch pretty cheap at TJ Maxx. I am in denial about how soon Christmas is approaching. We host a large meal and have a kids’ birthday (albeit he’s an adult) a few days before Christmas. I am trying to enjoy the calm before he storm! I hope you get into the spirit soon!