- Finishing Session and taking days off, then going back to work is like a stutter step; you feel all wonky but have righted yourself at some point. I am feeling a little more normal now but I’ll find my stride. It’s also weird when half the office is here and half are gone, then I see people come in at a normal time then put themselves on the calendar out by 2 or 3. It’s this weird mindset of thinking, “Oh, I can spare a couple hours and go home now too.” I love the flexible time after Session but again, weird.
- I voted on Tuesday – not that it was a tough choice. I didn’t realize it wasn’t anything more than presidential primary. For some reason I thought it was locals too. It literally took me less than one minute. But I did my civic duty.
- The other night, we watched Bonnie and Clyde, which I’d seen a long time ago but Ash hadn’t. He didn’t much care for it (I liked it) but it reminded me how much I always have loved Warren Beatty. Particularly fond of him in Dick Tracy and Bugsy.
- The pollening has come to North Florida and I am over it. It’s aggravating my asthma, which is not as bad as it ever was when I was young (and fat) but I am constantly feeling constricted now. I’m ready for this springy crap to pass so not everything is coated in yellowy green ick.
- I am considering doing the A to Z challenge and maybe doing fiction. I don’t know how much that’s going to require of me and push me but it could be a very good exercise in said things. I mean, without the daily requirement, would I ever write creatively? Only when the mood strikes, which is rare these days. Maybe I shall…
- My sciatic nerve on the right side is flaring up again so I’ve been doing stretches for it. I don’t know why it happens every so often but ugh; this dull ache is super irritating.
- I’m making a Boursin chicken tonight that I think I got Ash onboard with eating. We are trying to eat at home as often as we can so he may have to accept some new recipes! We are also going to Ology for trivia, at the request of the children! The girls changed their girl scout meeting to next week just so they can come with us. They walk down to the Dollar Tree in the same shopping center while we attempt to use our smarts to win prizes.
- This Saturday, I am hosting a super informal birthday get-together. Essentially, I just invited friends to meet us up in Thomasville at the brewery. I set it to be a sort of come as you please event, so people don’t feel pressure. As of now, only six folks say they are coming and I don’t want to start thinking it’s because they don’t like me, but that everyone is busy. The people who declined told me why – previous engagements – but it’s sort of deflating either way. As noted in previous posts, I know a lot of people from various aspects of my life but don’t have a core strong group of friends. And that’s ok for this time of my life; I am busy with kids and trying to work harder, etc… so it’s not the worst. I do hope when I get a little older I have a close friend group though. Might be kind of nice.
- I’m suddenly – just this week – very aware of how much I am missing the days of just a couple years ago: both boys in sports all the time and Dakota sometimes as well, but filling her time with dance and girl scouts. She still does that but without the boys doing sports, it’s a weird time. It’s like a deep, painful feeling of loss, somehow, and I can barely wrap my brain around what it is I miss. Was it how busy we were? Because I still feel busy. Was it some sense of contentment? Because I definitely remember being stressed and unsettled and having these same issues with online teaching coming and going (and always working out ok in the end), so I really cannot pinpoint what this is.
- I decided to leave at 2:30 yesterday to go home and sink myself into a little cleaning. I was feeling so restless, worrying about money and the summer and just so much stuff in life and then I got on this path of reading old blog entries and once, in 2018, I found myself worried about the SAME thing. I hadn’t gotten an assignment and it turns out they were behind on assigning. I am hoping this is the case now!
- I woke up before my alarm today by 20 minutes and decided to just get up. Now, I am not all that religious anymore but I went down a path on Pinterest of morning devotionals, since I’d heard this term online, and it was actually pretty interesting. I feel like it helped me to find a way to pray that both felt “right” – by God – and helped to steel myself against the trials of life. Which, in all reality, is what praying is, right? It helps calm your soul and make you strong to tackle things.
- Of course then we had a debacle: Isaac has band photos today – the group photo that gets put on the wall in the band room for all eternity – and he could not find his button down black shirt. He talked a big game last night too, when he said some kids will forget and have to wear the crappy extras the band teacher keeps. Well this morning, he calls all flustered because he couldn’t find his shirt. I know he wore it a few weeks ago to his MPA, Music Program Assessment. My guess was he threw it somewhere and it then got buried under other junk. I hadn’t seen it since he wore it that night either. He called me multiple times all mad then I got a call from my husband asking what the story is. Then I got a text from Isaac, “I guess I’m not going to school” while on the phone with Ash but then, miracle upon miracles, he found it. It really is always something right? Point here though, is that I would normally put the stress upon myself and worry for him, even though I cannot do a thing from here in my office. But that morning devotional put me in a frame of mind to handle it with ease and grace. Huh; maybe there really is something to this praying thing.
- So yes, I am feeling a lot more calm and capable today, to tackle issues and move forward. I have not checked my email from said school without a course yet; I am perhaps putting it off until tomorrow. I am taking a half day so I’ll either be celebrating or drowning my sorrows. Will report back!
incognitusscriptor.com 
I’d love it if you did A to Z! No pressure, though. I know how you feel about writing creatively: most of my writing that I do here is pretty structured, and sometimes I just want to write fake people and fake situations.
Is it your birthday this weekend? Happy birthday! Mine’s Monday.
Mine is actually next Wednesday but we are doing the thing this weekend just due to other obligations next.