- This time of year, I always think about my old boss, Deborah. I think we had a really good relationship that went beyond work. She invited me to her grandson’s birthday parties (my oldest and he are the same age) and we gave gifts at Christmas. She baked assorted cookies for certain people in the department and I remember looking forward to it, as well as her Christmas card with a gift. I tried to get her interesting and meaningful things each year too. I mean, she was honestly the best boss I ever worked for. I’ve written about her exit from FSU before but it will always irk me how she removed herself from all Tallahassee relationships, including me. We don’t ever speak anymore and sometimes, when I remember to send her a happy birthday email on Jan. 1, all I get back is a curt “Thanks!”
- I think what I might need is my traditional evening of wrapping presents while listening to music and drinking egg nog. I was going to do it last night but Ash asked why I was in such a hurry to wrap. I guess I just wanted to try to find that special feeling and/or get ahead of what inevitably has to get done anyway. Sigh.
- This time of year, I get these weird ideas about what I think I want to make myself feel happy. One of those is something I can never get: going to our favorite pizza place and drinking beer. You know why it’s not the same though? They have changed so much. They used to have this great beer selection but now they’ve whittled it down to hardly anything. And it just has a different feel. So I am yearning for a thing that no longer exists and that’s the worst feeling.
- Trying to look beyond this negativity though. Once we get through our party Friday, I know I will breathe a sigh of relief. I also have a few really good things coming up next week: dinner with two friends on Monday and hopefully, sushi with Elliot on Wednesday. The other kids are going with Ash to see Wonka so it’ll be nice to hang out with my oldest. He said that when he got a job we’d go out for sushi and rotate who pays. We’ll see if he follows through on that!
- I came across this random video on youtube about these laughing records during the 1920s. Really weird! But it kind of made me realize that I haven’t actually laughed, like, genuinely laughed, in a while. Comedy movies aren’t funny anymore; they might make me chuckle in amusement but not actually laugh out loud. Usually if I laugh it’s something that comes across as so absurd, I can’t help it.
- The majority of this post was written yesterday and today, I am feeling much better. Last night was busy – got off at 6:30 and went home to gather all 3 kids. Took one to the gym then the others and I went to Target for the last minute dance class White Elephant gift and some basic food items. I felt pretty motivated after I made them food and then sat down to watch the football games. I only fell asleep about an hour in my chair though. I also only slept for 4.5 hours but when I woke, 30 minutes before my alarm, I was well-rested and decided to get up. I even sipped water for 30 mins before coffee! This is good because your cortisol levels are highest first thing and coffee spikes them so water first thing is a good way to lower them. We’ll see how long this merry and, quite frankly, wide awake, moment for me lasts.
incognitusscriptor.com 
Sad about Deborah and losing a friend so abruptly. I guess she has her reasons.
It’s weird how people will just disconnect like that and you never hear from them again. It could be she’s going through some things that she’d rather not talk about.
I found the records by Lucie Bernardo and Otto Rathke that I think you’re talking about. I might suggest comedy albums from the ’50’s thru the ’70’s. Some are really hilarious, people like Bob and Ray, Lenny Bruce, Mort Sahl, Shelley Berman, Bob Newhart (his “The Button-Down Mind” is a comedy classic), Tom Lehrer, Phyllis Diller etc. etc. Bill Cosby in his early days was particularly funny. Here’s to bigger laughs for everyone!