Frazzled, discombobulated, and generally… neutral


I was going to say ‘generally discontent’ but I’m not really discontent as I am plodding along, making it every day, just one thing at a time. I need to make some time to enjoy the season; maybe sit by my tree, listen to music, sip some hot chocolate. The spirit I felt was stronger early in the month but now it wanes as the semester winds down but my work ramps up.

I’ve gotten to that point where I may or may not have gotten enough gifts for each person and do I want to or not? I have not finished wrapping either so I am feeling behind.

On that note, I realized three things that have to get done asap before I lose my damn mind: mow backyard that is covered in leaves, clean the toilets because ew, and generally tidy up in my room because boxes and other various detritus is piling up. This time of year is a messy one; we are all rushed, there’s an influx of STUFF in the house, and with the darker evenings, I am simply TIRED.

In fact, I wanted to wrap stuff last night but I could not pry myself from the chair. Once I finally sat down (after errands around town, making dinner, getting kids in bed) and got under a blanket, I had zero desire to get up. In fact, I tried to rally but found I could not. I just felt completely drained. Today, I have a headache as the weather has changed: slightly warmer but cloudy so the air pressure it affecting me. I could use an Aleve or three!

Here’s an example of how scatterbrained I am. Last night, Isaac and I ran up to Costco. I had a few things on my mind: I was using my husband’s card because I left mine at work and I was nervous they’d call me on it  – not even sure if that was even illegal; I also had to pick up something my mom bought but forgot to get so she mailed me the receipt. I was walking away from the card, feeling in my pockets for my cards, phone… keys. Keys? Omg, did I leave them on the seat of the car? Wow, what was I thinking? I got back, opened the door – thankful it was unlocked – and upon not seeing them on said seat, I looked, and listened, and realized they were still in the ignition. WOW. How insane is that?

I really think I just need to bail on work soon and go home; catch up, sleep, clean, take pills. And then maybe come Monday, I will back to semi-normal me.

Talk to me

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