Remember how they called the adults in the 80s the “Me generation”? I have memories of my parents talking about that and I didn’t get it until much later. The 80s were a time when people did a lot of self-indulgent, over-indulgent things for themselves. I tend not to do a lot for myself due to reasons like time constraints, Catholic guilt, etc. Mostly, I can barely find justification to do something selfish, even if it has no implications on anyone else. The most personal selfish thing I do is an occasional pedicure but lately, I have honestly been trying to set time aside for little pleasures.

As previously mentioned, I have been reading a lot. Oh, I always read, sure, but with two kids – and even as Elliot got more into the “real person” phase, books were slowly replaced by playing with dinosaurs, watching Sesame Street and, you know, sleeping. I realized, however, that I have read a lot in the past 6 months. Granted, the last 16 books I read were vampire novels but still, I made time for them.

I have been consistent with running, though in the last two weeks I have been having a two day break instead of one, just due to life getting in the way. But that 30-40 minute time frame when I am pounding pavement, sweating from every pore, working overtime to get air deep into my lungs… that’s for me. It may suck but it really reminds me that no matter how bad life is at home – I mean, how bad it seems when Elliot’s repeating for the 70 millionth time that he wants Buzz Lightyear and Isaac is crying for no apparent reason and the dogs, though JUST let outside for 10 minutes have come in and taken a massive dump on my kitchen floor – the running is always worse. But at the same time, it is better for all that it helps me accomplish. Aside from the losing weight, it is honing my body, making my mind tougher, my integrity stronger. It’s a test of wills: my internal pansy screaming to just walk that hill versus my internal Rocky who says get yer lazy ass up and keep running, no matter how much your shins are burning. I never thought I would find enjoyment in outdoor running but sometimes it’s the best part of my day.

Another thing I already brought up is the fact that I am now making actual time to watch some TV shows on Netflix. I don’t really like to be bound by the TV. For many years I had shows that HAD to be watched at their specific time. My life was built around these half hour or hour increments so that no content was missed. With the advent of Netflix streaming I can queue up an entire season and churn through it. After Isaac goes down around 9 or 9:30, I fire up the Xbox and load a few episodes of Bones. I find myself becoming more and more attached to this show; the characters and the stories are endearing and I liken it to the way I felt about ER. I hear tell that season three is really good; I can’t wait.

My online photo workshop began today. The theme is “summer” and though we immediately think of sun, my pic for the day will revolve around the summer rainstorms Florida is know to get. It’s been dark since I got to work and has been steadily pouring since about 12:30. I’m looking forward to July because I’ll get a prompt every day and the impetus to keep using my camera, to keep looking at the world. It’s so easy to get lost in the every day minutia; this class ought to force me to keep looking beyond myself.

What do you do that’s only for you? How do you make time for these things amidst the chaos of life?