More thoughts on staying home, etc.

They say to sleep when the baby sleeps. Well, he’s asleep right now for – really – the first time all day and yet, I am doing laundry and washing dogs and, obviously, blogging. We’re about to enter what Sundry referred to as the “the long dark tea-time of the stay-at-home-mom soul”. God is she ever right. I admit to going back to her archives and reading them because it makes me feel a lot better. She also has two boys, about the same ages apart and to be honest, I feel like I think in a lot of the same ways. Kind of goofy to admit, I know.

I want to avoid the feelings I have during the 3-5 time frame: listless, anxious, angry. I know I shouldn’t be; for the most part, maternity leave is pretty cool. A much deserved rest after the nine months of carrying this thing around. I was even happy when I was bending down to wash a smelly Boston terrier and realized I could do it without hurting. For that, I was thankful. But the days do kind of drag now and then. What begin as gung-ho motivated mornings end up being ticking seconds of eternity by the time the late afternoon rolls around. I have these grand ideas of breakfast on the deck, beautiful breezy mornings and a hint of jasmine scent on the wind. Toast, tea, a book. And Isaac in his little seat, enjoying nature and our quiet time. This has yet to happen, of course.

Today’s weather isn’t helping me; it’s gray and cloudy but I don’t think it’s going to rain.  To boot, my internet is being wonky; it’ll be fast one second then pages will time out the next. Thanks, Comcast, you piece of trash provider. Not really sure what you’re providing me with right now.

If not for internet and reading, my downtime would be… I don’t know what! And I hate to say that because I want to believe I’d be fine doing some kind of craft or project or you know, actually writing for once. Again, depending on the day, lack of motivation. But all in all, emotionally and hormonally, I think I am basically back to normal. It took A LOT longer last time, that’s for sure. I can see how it would get easier with each subsequent kid, but I am definitely in the no more kids camp, for now. Even though labor was far better this time, it was still traumatic in ways. Ways that make me say no way in hell will I push out another one of these leeches. (Sorry, Isaac, I don’t mean it. Really.)

So this week my goal is to really find a routine that I can be happy with and deal with the stuff that can’t be stuffed into time slots – feedings, fussiness, etc… It’s really only the second week of this so I’ll get the hang of it. Then, by the end of next week? My running/losing weight routine begins!

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