I’m actually not as cranky as I’m going to come across in this entry but you must understand RUSH WEEK on a Big College Campus.

Each sorority (and yes, I have blogged about this before) puts up a little white tent and some standing fans right in front of their big luxurious houses. Then, hordes of sheep, dressed in identical little sundresses and sporting sparkly tiaras, popping their gum and fanning their tanned and soon-to-be cancer ridden skin, will schlep from one house to the next, “interviewing” to see what friend-purchasing racket they want to buy into. The catch: they invade my end of campus. Out on Westcott Plaza they have a tent of bottled water and snacks set up. (Go now, you can see them moving!). They have taken over, they’re like zombies. I feel like I’ve stepped into the Twilight Zone as I walk through their masses, the only one with any sort of defining feature, someone who doesn’t dress the same or think the same or own a BMW. The parking lots for their houses are filled with Mercedes, Lexus (Lexi?), etc. It’s sickening.

But here’s the best part: I’m walking up to my building and I go to walk up the steps when I see them; a group of girls sprawled out on the steps, exhausted, I presume, in this hot Florida heat. They had a bunch of crap spread out on the steps, completely blocking any path to the door. I asked – and I swear nicely – if they could let me pass. And they didn’t. There was a good 5 seconds when we just sort of looked at each other. And then I said, “Come on, y’all, that’s not cool”, as I stumbled up a couple steps, tripping on some of their packets of crap. And one of them, the most brazen bitch of them all, says, snidely, “That’s not cool…”, which was followed up by a round of giggles and “ohmigods”.

Fuck you, hoes. May you contract many STDs and flunk out of college.

Was that harsh? I’m sorry. Next time the Panhellenic council wants to ignore our phone calls, we’ll be calling someone else. Like, maybe, campus police?

Ok, /endrant. More entries later to sum up my dinner outing last night.