While checking my Hotmail a moment ago, there was a headline in their little news blurb section that said, “7 Reasons Why Paris Hilton Should be President.” I hope to God that that’s a joke. But I’m not clicking through to find out.

So anyway, how’re you all liking the Olympics? I find myself glued to the television every night, as if I didn’t have a bazillion other, more important things to do than cheer on our sick swimming team. Granted, I have gotten about 5 loads of laundry washed and folded, made a (healthy!) homemade pizza and fed it to the Boy for the first time, and made (hand made!) birthday invitations. Oh, and I worked out too. 35 minutes on that there elliptical. So yeah, I am finding some sort of balance between domestic duty and griping about the shitty-ass announcers that ALWAYS are on for the gymnastics segments. I’ve noticed a few things that are different about this year’s gymnastics coverage. For one, we are only getting to see the American and Chinese teams. What the hell is up with that? I’ve been watching this particular event for years (used to be a gymnast, thank you) and I recall seeing each and every team out there, especially the Belorussians and Germans. This year, only the gold and silver competitors are being televised I guess.

Secondly, the announcer guy sucks dick. I seem to remember them always running us through their routine, the names of each move on floor routines, etc. This year, they’re deathly quiet until someone’s foot slightly goes out of bounds and they say something inane like, “Ohh, man, that’s going to be a HUGE deduction.” Shut the fuck up already and do your real job. Stop ragging on our team.

Though, they have cause to rag because thirdly, I don’t remember the American girls team having so many screw ups. That Alicia Sacrimone girl must be nervous as hell because she fell off the beam AND stepped out of bounds on her floor routine. And I’m thinking, don’t they spend hours upon hours upon days upon years working on this? How do you mess that up?? It’s pretty disappointing and I am sorry to say that they earned their silver. We’ll see how all around individual medals go. Maybe then we’ll get to watch some other countries. And maybe mens as well?

I heard someone call Michael Phelps a “butterface” the other day. And I had no idea what that meant so I looked it up. Everything is good butter face. But her face. And I guess, yeah. I mean, were he not our number one awesomest swimmer boy, he’d just look your run of the mill 23 year old gamer dork. Who’s really tall. And ripped. But they were right: he’s not exactly the handsomest guy out there. But who cares? He can swim like nobody’s business.

I’m ready for some other events to come on. I watch the beach volleyball but it doesn’t really interest me. There’s always some boxing or tennis but I’m ready to see something else. Maybe trampoline or fencing? When’s THAT going to be on TV, huh NBC?