small stomaches and similes


It’s 2:20 PM and I am just now getting around to posting; which means the day has been flying by. A lot of people were chatty so I got sucked into a bunch of conversations around the department all morning. Not complaining about that. I made bout 55 new hanging file folder tags – which is a tedious process – and am getting a lot of stuff organized.

In other news, I have reached the part of pregnancy where he’s getting big enough to squish my innards and I’ve noticed that a normally small meal is now ginormous and what amount I can manage to eat is that of a six year old or something. I’m slowly learning what is too much and knowing when to stop, before I feel like bloated whale. Like right now, I feel like a Hefty sack full of vegetable soup.
Now, for your entertainment, a few metaphors and similes submitted by high school teachers around the country from their students’ essays. These are some of the best.

  • The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work
  • He was lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
  • The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
  • It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
  • She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up
  • She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli and he was a room-temperature Canadian beef.

3 thoughts on “small stomaches and similes

  1. Those similes and metaphors are outstanding. Reading stuff like that almost makes teaching worthwhile…almost.

  2. I read a metaphor somewhere before along those lines:

    “He hit the pavement like a Hefty-bag full of vegetable soup.”

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