1. Let’s compare this May to last May. What’s changed? What remains very much the same? 

Well for starters, what very much remains the same is I am looking for a job. Last May, I had decided to leave the House at the same time they told me to begin looking so it was a thing I was very actively doing, as I am now. My May 7th post tells me Ash and I went to St. Augustine for a beer fest and to see the Medieval Torture Museum. Something that has changed is the way I look at adversity. I am trying to be better at tackling it head on. My kids are more helpful, more rounded out people now. My relationship with my husband is better. I guess you could say in one year’s time, we’ve all improved.

2. What’s something you may do this month? 

I may get through it! LOL. We had exactly one million things happening, some of them milestones, and I want to be able to experience them without breaking down. I think I can.

3. Mother’s Day is approaching (in the US of A)…in what way(s) are you like your mother? 

My mom and I tend to immediately distrust something or someone; it’s not a good trait to share with her! But we also do like to talk to people, especially each other, and we both like cooking. Here we are in a San Antonio mall with a Lego lion.

4. Did you have a favorite book as a child? What was it and why was it a favorite. 

Not sure I had a favorite but I did like these two:

5. Are you more of a tortoise or a hare? Explain. 

Good question. I think I am more like the hare but I know I am the tortoise. I want to rush through everything to finish things, cross them off the list. But I have learned to pace myself and take everything in my time. I remember two years ago when I ran a 12.5 mile trail race and Ash just said, when I was nervous, “Run your race.” That stuck with me because your pace is your own; you have to do it in your own way.

6. Insert your own random thought here.  

For mother’s day, I wanted to go pick blueberries like we did last year and one of the years before, but they posted that they were not going to be able to open this season; I am so sad! Here’s our pic from last year; I asked to eat at Smitty’s, one place I really love, then we picked the berries.

I look at that and hearken back to our question today about change. All my kids are seemingly very different now, physically. And I know they have matured in so many ways. As they age and become their own people, I’m on the other side, progressing into whatever “middle age” is now, or at least, what I used to think of it being. The perimenopause symptoms do seem to be sneaking in now and then to get me. The other night, I had a random flash of memory of this park we’d sometime practice at, 9th and Terrace. It wasn’t the best park but if Winthrop was full of teams, they’d kick us over there. So I started looking at old photos. Man, we played so many sports! The boys did the rotation of flag football, soccer, baseball every year. They eventually whittled it down to just soccer but I have fond memories of the chaos of getting them to and from one billion practices and games each season.

I love that first photo of Isaac giving them thumbs down. He’s me; if things aren’t going right and it’s someone one else’s fault, I have a hard time turning my attitude around. I’ll never forget his first soccer season when he was 4. He had some kids on there who didn’t understand anything and when they ran away from the goal, he’d take over, score, then ask why his team is so bad. Some kids just “get” sports and some don’t. That’s ok; I understand parents are trying things out to see what is right for their kids. But it frustrated him to no end.

I find I live in my memories, sometimes too much. But reminiscing is so comforting when the world feels like it’s falling down all around you. It’s a comforting thing, I suppose. Anyway, I am off to get some yardwork done; I submitted grades for two schools so those are essentially done now. I need to sink myself into other tasks so I don’t get bored with just the 3 other online things I am teaching.