I remember a long time ago when Sundry (one of my most favoritest blogs) took her oldest son to an airshow and then every time a plane flew over their house, he’d freak right the hell out. I was like, kids get this weirded out about stuff? Well, the answer is yes. And it’s illogical and mind-blowing. Elliot loves Spider Man, as I may have mentioned. And he loves the bad guys like Venom. If you recall, Ash dressed as Venom for Halloween and though Elliot liked this idea in theory, he was scared to death of the Venom mask. To this day, he’s terrified of his closet because he found out that’s where I was storing the mask. Sometimes if he has to go into a darkened room, he says he can’t because Venom is in there. And I know this is clearly our fault. But I am also a firm believer that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, conquering your fears builds character, yadda yadda yadda. But sometimes my heart breaks a little when he gets that’s worried look on his face and is honest-to-God SCARED. I guess I should have seen it coming; he’s always been a cautious child, even as a baby. He watched very carefully. Sure, he interacted with things but only after a while.

On the other hand, Isaac, so far, is exhibiting signs that he is fearless. Like most babies, he watches as well but he gets into stuff. He charges, goes for it, gets into stuff. I think Elliot was up and walking by the time he even tried to push open the gate on his room. Isaac has been breaking out of there for about a month now. It’s really interesting to gauge the ways in which they seem different from each other.

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Though it seems to be irrational, I am actually quite afraid of undergoing the ten minute carpal tunnel surgery. They told me I would not be put under anesthesia but, in fact, I will be. I suppose you can say it’s no different than falling asleep at night thinking you may not wake up but this is drug induced. Sure, tons of people do this all the time and for much much longer periods. But I just have no interest in being in a medically induced state of sleep. I know I will do it and it’ll be over and I’ll be “fixed” but still… I think about it a few times a day. I’m not freaked out beyond measure, but it irks me. It looms ever closer and puts me on edge.

I know there are other things I maybe ought to worry about and spend time thinking about but this one is taking up a lot of my brain space. I feel better, though, now that I’ve written it down.