Yesterday, I was running an errand on my lunch break. As I stepped from my car in the shopping center parking lot, I got a text from my friend and co-worker that there had been an accident at an intersection near our building on campus. Apparently a car hit a girl in a wheel chair; a witness said she had been studying English. I felt very sad for the situation, went about my business and then got back to my office and continued to do mundane things like file papers, calculate grades, answer emails. A thought occurred to me that it may have been one of the former TAs I had worked with here in the department. A small part of me hoped it was just some undergrad.

Around 3:30, another co-worker came into my office to tell me that the victim of the accident, who was pronounced dead at the hospital, had indeed been Jill, the girl we knew here. Though I didn’t know her as a friend, I worked with her for a few years and she’d been nothing but pleasant to me. In some ways, I had admired her; she worked through her MA and overcame a lot of difficulties being confined to that motorized wheelchair. Mostly, I was angry. How do you, driving on campus where the speed limit is about 25 miles per hour, miss a big ol’ wheelchair like that? Found out today that it was a girl who was involved in something Greek; she knows our former front desk guy. We wonder, was she texting? I know that’s a lot of conjecture and subliminal judging but I cannot help it. It’s situational evidence.

Even though I wasn’t close to Jill, I thought about it a lot yesterday. Earlier in the day I had watched an episode of Bones where Dr. Sweets was sitting on the train and the guy next to him had just found out he was cancer free. He was going to travel and see exotic things. Then a water main broke and the guy died, right there. And I kept wondering why Sweets was so upset since he didn’t even know the guy. But then it all made sense as my day progressed and that girl died. In death – in the brief moment that everything changes for a person – everyone else gets a glimpse of what could happen to them. And why we need to stop and just bask in the awesomeness that is life. I’m avoiding the phrases “be thankful” and “count your blessings” because we hear them so often that their meaning almost totally disintegrates with the mere utterance of the cliche. All too often we get so wrapped up in the day to day… the hour of driving every morning, the fact that we had to change our baby’s outfit for the third time, our three year old being obnoxious in public… that we’re blind to the fact that we’re alive and we have it pretty damn good.

I tend not to be a seize the day kind of person but man, shouldn’t I be? I sometimes go to bed feeling regretful at some of the things I didn’t do. This last week alone I felt bad about not uploading or printing pictures. I didn’t email a friend back. I failed to call my grandmother. I can’t guarantee I’m suddenly going to make time for this stuff. After all, there’s only so many hours in a day and though that sounds like just an excuse, it’s factually true. We get home at 5:30, I give Elliot a snack, feed the dogs, feed Isaac and then make dinner. Somewhere in there we manage to play with our children for maybe 30-45 minutes before Elliot gets bathed and put to bed. Soon after, Isaac goes down and one or both of us squeeze in a run. Maybe we play some Starcraft. Maybe Ash and I spend some time together before it’s too late and we’ll be exhausted in the morning. And then it begins all over again.

I’m not even sure how I want this post to end. I’m having lunch with a friend today and I am grateful. I’m having lunch tomorrow with my friend who is pregnant with twins, due in a few weeks… and I am grateful. I guess all I can really say is that I am going to try to be more appreciative and aware of the things I have. All of it. And just be happy.