It’s always so easy to just write a bullet post, because then I don’t need to pull out to five dollar words; I could settle for some ten cent language and move on. I find that I am far more likely to pull a bullet cop-out if it’s later in the afternoon, because I am sleepy from lunch and longing to go outside much more than I long to write in my blog. You know, for all 35 of you who actually like to read my drivel. And for that, I appreciate you.
But anyway, I did a bad bad thing this morning involving my son, his head, and the pavement. You see, we were beside my parked car in the daycare lot. I was squatting down to gather his lunchbox, a package of diapers and my keys that he dropped. He was standing beside me. He began walking out into the main path by which cars can access the parking spaces so I threw an arm around his waist. Which was fine except that he kept moving and struggled to run on ahead to the door and as the top half of his body moved forward, his legs came out from under him and his forehead smacked the asphalt. The sound of his head making impact with the ground will not leave my mind. I felt absolutely horrible. Had I been slightly less rushed in all the actions and just set down my stuff to simply move him back towards me, maybe it wouldn’t have happened. But had he taken off, who knows if a car could have come aorund the corner? The moms at my daycare – I have witnessed – drive a little too fast and a little too recklessly through a very busy pedestrian zone there.
Elliot had a nice scrape and a big red mark but he only cried briefly and was smiling once inside with an ice bag, seated on his etacher’s lap. But still, I was worried about his brain. I mean, how many times does a kid need to bang their head before cells begin to dislodge? He began playing and I left for work, though I broke down crying soon as I got into my car. I still feel guilty and I know soon as I see him today I’m going to love on him more than he’ll probably even want. But it was a sort of reality/mortality check for me.
I’m sure he will get hurt many more times during childhood but itwill never cease to be heart-attack inducing for this mom.