Ok, so the title is a little joke-y but what I’m thinking about is no laughing matter. If you haven’t read about the girl in Austria who was kept in a cellar then you should, because – my god – who the hell does that? And to their own kid?? And that’s what I’m getting at.

Since becoming a parent, I can no longer read news articles like this without feeling like someone stuck a knife in my gut and twisted it around. I cannot wrap my brain around the idea of injuring, torturing, or abusing your own flesh and blood. Something happens between a parent and a child that bonds them for life and it creates an unspoken treaty of sorts, that says things like that won’t happen. In my opinion, it takes a mentally unstable and heartless, immoral sort of sub-human to commit an act such as that man.

And furthermore, when I became a parent, I experienced some other changes. For one, I used to be afraid of the dark. Ok, a lot of kids are. But I was 25 and could still freak myself out if I had to go into a dark room. I’d think that a hand might reach out and grab me right before I could get to the light switch. And also, if anyone were to break into my house, I’d surely crumble in a worthless heap and give them all my money and possessions. But I distinctly remember a moment, when Elliot was maybe 3 or 4 weeks and I was nursing him at 2 or 3 in the morning. I thought, I am sitting in a dark room, listening to all those noises that houses make that can sometimes make my brain imagine an intruder and I’m NOT afraid. Something happened, something made me be brave and fearless and willing to fight. And all because I had a new, higher purpose.

However, I am a lot more worried about certain other things. For instance, if I am in a traffic situation where a car swerves or I have a near miss in a potential fender bender, I get totally freaked out. What if something had happened to me? I can’t die, I have a kid! I’m also far more worried about things like rape and abduction now. Sure, all women probably worry a slight bit but now – and I’m not paranoid or anything – I keep it in mind more; I am more cautious and aware of my surroundings. Somehow it just seems more real now the true dangers in the world around me. And I have to stay strong and able for my family.

I guess being a parent – well, a parent in the majority, not someone like the Austrian psycho – makes you realize how much bad is out there in the world. But also, how much good can come from one small human, one little being that you created. It’s simply amazing.