*I’ll probably offend at least one of my readers in this post.
SO, I am finally getting the ball rolling on Elliot’s baptism. We already have Godparents picked out. Ash’s former boss, with whom he is pretty close, had a son who killed himself a couple years ago. Not only did Ash befriend her at work but also on a personal level, right around that awful time. I am perfectly fine with choosing her and her husband to be Elliot’s godparents. The big problem all lies in the fact that I’m Catholic, Ash is nothing, and the godparents no longer attend whatever church it was they used to go to.
Yesterday, I went out on a limb and called one of the Catholic churches here, just to find out the procedures. The wrinkly old woman in the rectory was somewhat rude to me, as she explained that we had to be members of the church and she didn’t want us registering just so our kid could be baptized. And also, one or both godparents needed to be Catholic. Thanks for the info but I must go elsewhere.
I then began my research. Which Christian sects practice baptism and don’t force you to a.) become a practicing member of their congregation and b.) will let you choose the godparents you want, not just people who are already that same religion? Really, this is all in the interest of my child so – please – think of the child and cut me some slack, you know? Who cares about silly rules and regulations of the organized church when there is an infant’s soul at stake? Apparently the Catholics do. No wonder I’m not practicing anymore.
I contacted an Anglican parrish and a very nice (pastor?) man wrote me back. I am in agreement with him about the sacrament of baptism and all it stands for. I want my son to be “introduced to God” and although I know that godparents are really there for spiritual guidance, I also believe them to be a lot more than that. I can’t guarantee that I will raise Elliot in the teachings of whatever church we end up going with. But I can guarantee that he will be taught the ways of good, kind-hearted people, to love people equally and treat others as he would like to be treated. I am sure there will come a time when he’ll ask why something exists and I will tell him that God created it. I cannot, however, condone Sunday School or the teachings of some of the organized church’s constructs. I just cannot. It was a part of my upbringing that, at the time seemed right, but left me realizing some of the flaws in the machine. All in all, that probably helped me to think outside the box and more freely about my relationship with God, but why not just speak openly to Elliot from the get-go… let him decide for himself and forge his own spiritual relationship? He doesn’t need to confess his sins to a priest or give the church money or read all the things people weren’t allowed to do 2000 years ago in the book of Leviticus.
My mom is asking around at the Episcopal school at which she teaches. They’re kind of like Catholic Light and when I say the word “Episcopal” in my head, I just feel OK about. Not the way Catholic makes me feel, which is sort of… uneasy. So wish me luck in my search for the perfect church, the perfect place to say,”Hey God, this is little Elliot. He is a kind boy, an innocent soul. Take care of him for a little while until he can start taking care of himself.”
incognitusscriptor.com 
Thanks for sharing this. Other major denominations that practice infant baptism are Lutheran, Presbyterian, and Methodist, if you are considering other options beyond Episcopal.
Your conundrum with Elliot’s baptism is interesting to me because I was raised Primitive Baptist, which practices only credobaptism–baptism of the professed believer. For Primitive (and for other Baptists), baptism is a symbol of one’s faith and does not impart grace or salvation. It doesn’t do anything; it’s merely sign of repentance. Baptism (often immersion only, no sprinkling) is required for membership to the congregation, too.
So the urgency for him to be baptized (you say his soul is at stake) is foreign to me. You said that in your talk with the Anglican pastor, you agreed on what baptism should be. I would be interested to hear, if you are willing to share, what you yourself believe baptism is and what function it serves.
I’m glad you’ve made this post: it’s opened up a discussion forum for some things I’ve been thinking about for myself. Can I find a denomination in which I agree with all the tenets? Or will I only find one that will partially agree with?
The people at the Unity Church in Tallahassee are really nice, and I don’t know if they do baptism, but it sounds like they may have more similar ideas to yours…
Funny, I was raised Baptist, too, so the baby-baptism is a foreign thing to me (though I was “dedicated to Christ” as a child). However, I love the symbolism of saying, “Hey God–This is Elliott!” It’s a very beautiful idea.
Good luck on your search!
And for when he gets older–have you seen Sandy Eisenberg Sasso’s children’s books on God? They are amazing, and tackle the “big questions” in really excellent ways.
I second the recommendation for Unity. I don’t have any experience with the T-Town congregation, but I was raised Methodist / Unity. Most organized religion turns me off, but I always felt comfortable with their beliefs.
Thanks, guys, for all your ideas.
Jordan – being raised Catholic, I think I blindly sort of agree that through baptism, Elliot’s (soul) is sort of introduced to God and in a way, it would save him, were anything to happen to him. Granted, the idea of being baptized because you now believe also makes sense. But I guess since babies do not possess the capacity to believe yet, the church wanted a way to get them into Heaven. Personally, I believe all babies who – God forbid – die that young are going to Heaven. Why not, you know?
And if that were true, why then do I need to baptize him? I don’t know. I guess I just feel like I need to do it, because I’m honestly not sure how much I am going to raise him in any one faith. Maybe one day he’ll decide to choose a religion and practice but I didn’t have the best experience with organized religion as a kid and I don’t want to force it on my children either.
I like thinking of it as Elliot’s introduction to God–that’s a nice way of putting it. And I agree with you, too, that infants who–God forbid–pass away will be in Heaven. I suppose it’s just difficult for me to think about baptism as something that can save somebody when I’ve always associated it with membership to a congregation.
I greatly appreciate the ritual of baptism in the Catholic and Episcopal traditions, too. It is a beautiful gesture, it gives a grounding for the child if he or she wants that grounding when they get older, and the way it sort-of officially announces the beginning of a family. If not for great pressure to remain PB, I would probably be Episcopal precisely because of such traditions.
Thanks again for starting this conversation. It’s helped me to think through some things.
Glad I could help. I’ll post again when I make my final decision. We’re really leaning towards Episcopal.