Well, tonight marks the first night of the holiday season that I have felt truly sad. I get like this every year: one day I am so excited about Christmas and lights and presents and trees… then the next day, I am nervous, anxious and lonely. I should not feel lonely. I may not have a lot of close friends (that live here anymore) but I have Ash and the pups and a lot more family than most people. And yet, as I sit here listening to the Rat Pack Christmas cd, looking at the tree and studying some French prepositions, I feel like the only person in the world.