- This month drags on and on but I feel – hope – that it’s going to turn around come March. Praying so anyway. Weather is about to get cold again after Sunday, which I’m not happy about but at the same time, I am? Sounds funky, I know, but once the cold is done, it’s hot for a long time here. Oh, and the only good thing about the cold would be outdoor fires, which we have had woefully few of this season.
- Today sees me having to get up in front of the whole school – AND parents – to help pass out Honor Society stuff for journalism. There’s a society for just about everything and it seems like it’s mostly a college admissions box to check. Oh well; it is my job.
- It’s gray and misty today, which parallels my mood.
- But it shouldn’t; two good things: my friend who had brain tumor surgery did well, came out fine, and will be discharged soon. I know that one was weighing heavily upon me.
- Last night was…nice. We got home and made our bratwursts and veg, then I threw the frisbee with my daughter until I took her to Youth group. After that, my oldest got home and he didn’t have work and by then, my middle was clamoring to play a board game. See, we took away phones and computers Monday-Wednesday. It’s been good for them, honestly. So the four of us played Wits and Wagers, which was actually really fun. We then watched Office Space, which definitely holds up. Both boys enjoyed it, which is always rewarding. My daughter got home from church around 8 but didn’t partake.
- For a moment last night, I wasn’t dwelling on my sadness. It’s not even anything super pressing; I just feel off this month. Spending time with the boys was rewarding and I hate to say it, while they did gang up on me at times (out of fun, I know) they didn’t fight the way they would have if my daughter had been there. Different dynamics, I guess.
- I get like this from time to time: when things are particularly stressful, I often daydream about past times and wish I was doing that instead. I’ve been thinking lately about last year when we were training for RAGBRAI. A couple indoor rides a week, one short one in the neighborhood, then the long ones out at St. Marks. Long, sometimes boring, took up hours of my Saturday or Sunday… but rewarding. Somehow I’d rather be doing THAT.
- I think some of my discontent is seasonal; the yard is all brown and ugly and I know that it’s going to take time and some money to get it looking nice in the spring. (Also, my lawn guy just had brain surgery so you know, who knows how that will all go down! He just did the hedging and edging, but still.)
- Part of the annoyance is the quarter 3 drudgery. This time of any school year is particularly icky. Kids are more excited and motivated in the fall. They get back from Christmas break and it’s like, ew, school.
- If we don’t count today or tomorrow, or the two days in early March for testing, we have around 3 weeks until Spring Break. While I have to wrap up the current quarter, I am already planning assignments for the final one. I have a cool visual project to bridge my juniors out of Gatsby and into Of Mice and Men, then I have begun planning materials for 1984. I am a little worried that teaching that novel will be crappy; it’s not a GOOD novel but the IDEAS are important and engaging. I might have to teach to that concept.
- On a random note, I have noticed that I VERY MUCH appreciate my weekends now, more than before (not counting when I worked at the Legislature, which was torture and made me appreciate everything else). Going from about 6 years of working from home or only going to a campus twice a week for a few hours, to five days a week 7:30-3:30 makes me thankful for all my time at home, relaxing. And I think I’m doing a good job balancing things, from housework to spending time with family, to hobbies. I soak up that time.
- This weekend we have a club brew at a local defunct brewery (he let his license lapse but offered to let us use the equipment) then my daughter’s last soccer game of the season (also, my son’s last week reffing; he won’t make money again until summer), then on Sunday I have zero plans. Like, none. Besides laundry and probably making lunch, I’m going to watch movies and drink beer and appreciate not working.
- One final “good thing”: used to be that at one of my online colleges, adjuncts got 2 sections most terms (8 week terms), then one during one term in the year. In the past 2 years, they’ve kind of gotten to the point where we all get just one section each term. Well, this term, I had lucked out and gotten 2. I had one for the upcoming term until yesterday when they threw me another. This is REALLY good news! I can basically put all that money into savings… and we’re gonna need it when we buy a car!
incognitusscriptor.com 
Congrats on the extra job/extra money! I personally think January and February can be depressing months. They aren’t always, but can be. I remember reading 1984 and actually reread parts of it a few years ago. It is so weird that the first time I read it, it was “future” and now it is “past.”