- I thought maybe this year, I wouldn’t feel so unsettled when the kids transitioned out of school and into summer but alas, here we are. I think what’s contributing is the disconnect I feel from them as they get older. They don’t need me in the same integral ways. They can make their own food (even though I obviously still make them meals), they can entertain themselves, they have their own friends. Heck, once a kid can drive they’re really pulling away. I knew it was coming and Ash and I have done the best we can do to have other activities and groups to be a part of. But still, it feels weird. When I took the picture of the younger two on day one of camp, I told them it was because some day I won’t be taking kids to a camp anymore. In fact, next year will be my daughter’s last as a camper. Granted, she can be a CIT then counselor like Isaac, but still. Not the same.
- I’ve been suffering from a case of “grass is always greener”; I was thinking back to when the kids were little and I worked at FSU and in my memory, it felt so much easier somehow. But when I go back and read old blog posts, I was complaining even then. You know, summer money being tight, the kids having various issues with sleep or attitude, all that stuff. At the time, it felt so stressful but looking back, I find it preferable. But I also have to be reasonable that every season of your life is fraught with the bad at times but is generally good and/or what you make it. I liked my life back then but I like it now too, just in different ways.
- I was looking at the calendar for summer and I am mystified: normally, camp starts right after the last day of classes and then there’s a week between and then school begins. This year, the kids were off school starting with Memorial day so there was a week between but at the end of camp there’s a week too. How does that work? Did they go to school less days this year, somehow? I mean, I could believe it.
- Just took a walk with my friend and her daughter, who also worked here, recently found a new job. She tried for six months! Also, however, she is about 22/23 and lacks my experience. So there’s that. But nice to hear someone getting hired; there’s hope for me.
- One of the people at the Sunday bottle share we attended reminded me of someone. It took me about 45 minutes to figure it out but it was the know-it-all kid from Polar Express. He sounded just like him and looked a little bit like him too. I’ll never unsee it and will always think that’s who he is.
- Wow, my (soon to be former) senior editor actually spoke to me in a friendly way today. Had she been more like that, maybe I would have had more success in this job. She asked about the job search and then my actual personal life. Never before did she even give a crap. There is something to be said for that, I tell you.
- We watched the weirdest 80s horror movie last night called Basket Case. It was…weird. I can’t tell you much more; just watch and see the oddity that it is.
- Time seems to be passing quickly today, which is good. I am in one of those moods where I am thinking beyond work. Later on, I have to pick up kids and probably Ash, since his car is in the shop. I have to make dinner and personally, I’d just rather be anywhere but here.
- I applied for two more jobs, both at FSU. I would totally go back to working there so long as it was far far away from the English department. That would also be sort of amusing. I left in 2019 and if I went back five years later, I would find it funny. I guess I’m just cut out for University work at that point!
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Life’s like that always better back then or I’m the future? Not really every part of life has it’s good points and it bad points.
Personally I really don’t want to go back to any earlier part of my life NO THANK YOU!
Right now is what I can cope with. too far into the future scares me …I have more years behind me than Infront of me….
Your busy now but wait till weddings and grandchildren come along…. No one has it easy , I am not saying that’s what your saying , I just mean make the most of now. 💜🤔🤔💜💜
Oh yeah, I know. I try to live in the moment as much as I can. I think it’s just one of those observations that it “seemed” better then but it probably felt just as stressful.
Yes I agree onwards and upwards 💜💜💜
I completely agree with the sentiment of looking back and liking your life back then but liking the current phase, too. Trials and great times come with every season. When I look back at old photos, all I see are smiling faces. I think it´s easy (for me anyway) to associate the ¨old times¨ with good times when the physical reminders of those times show people smiling at fun events or on a good day. I am trying to focus on gratitude in the current season and not wish this time away waiting for the next milestone or even the next small event.
Agreed; I try not to get too far ahead because then I miss this stuff. I also agree that photos when the kids are happy make you think all was well but sometimes I’ll see one and remember the times around them and think, wow, THAT was a bad day!
I sometimes look back on the days when the kids were young and dependent on me during summers, and the grass seemed pretty green, but then I remember it wasn’t always!
My current job isn’t all that stimulating but provides a predictable trickle of income. But mostly, I enjoy all the people I work with, which can be a rare thing. Yes, it does make a difference!
Right; I get that about your job. I don’t even think I need a super fast paced or stimulating job so long as it pays and people are interesting.