I feel like the last couple weeks have been a big heaping pile of one piece of crap news on top of another. And not just things that directly relate to me. No, I read about a fellow blogger having a D&C around 10 weeks. Then my good friend’s Sister-in-law had one too…at 20 weeks. ::Shudder::. Can you imagine having to deliver a child that’s… God, I can’t even type it.

This morning, in preparation for tomorrow’s mid-month paycheck, I constructed my budget for the next two weeks. Surprise! You’re broke! It’s not even in my account yet and it’s already allocated. Talk about depressing. I hurried Elliot along and once the kids were dropped off, I tried very hard to hold back the tears. I always stress about money but you know, when people say, ‘Oh it’ll be OK’, I can’t help but think, ‘No, not really. If there’s NO money, then it WON’T be OK.’ (Then I judo chop their heads off and bury their bodies in the yard. J/K…er…)

When I get this way, I get angry at other people who seem to have these perfect lives. I know a guy who lives in California and as evident from this FB and Twitter feed, he does nothing but eat at nice places and travel. Today, he’s skiing. Whoop-dee-doo for you. I’m slogging through work with this shitty weather outside and I’m gonna go home to dirty diapers and whining. Kiss my ass.

I found it hard to pull myself from the funk. I’m not exactly bright-eyed and chipper now but I got a big project finished and my friend, Pete, took me to lunch. The weather still sucks; it’s goddamn cold out there and all I really wanna do is read my trashy romance novel in the bath tub. But all the crap is still there when I get out so what’s the point? At least it’s Bones night and I always always always feel better after that.

Emotions are stupid. Bitching about the world is stupid. But it is what it is. Everything is cyclical and next week or the week after that will be great and I’ll be back to running and this day – this moment right here – will not even be a faint memory etched upon my mind.