If I had the opportunity to bestow advice upon my friends who are about to give or just did give birth, I would want to tell them this, without being the jerk who gives “assvice”, like so many people try to do. The first six weeks are bad. I mean, ROUGH. And sure, it may not be awful for everyone but I found that the entire world as you know it is in upheaval. But you don’t actually have a handle on that. You know something is awry but you’re so damn busy worrying about this tiny bundle of wrinkles and soft fleshy appendages that you cannot possibly stop and wonder why, when the sun goes down, you feel like a train wreck inside. And the same holds true for fathers, who don’t necessarily have that instinct that keeps them going and trying and almost on a primaeval auto-pilot. So the fact that you cannot actually have sex really messes with the husband. And since you physically cannot accomplish the deed and for 23 out of 24 hours of the day you don’t even feel like doing it, the relationship between you and your mate dwindles.

BUT, there’s a way out. It happens gradually as the two of you become more accustomed to the little monkey you so lovingly brought into your world, though a speed bump he may be. And you begin to see the light again, along with a little bit more of your partner because suddenly, the kid starts to sleep a little more and maybe even “through the night” and then, you may reach a point where your child is say, 17 months 2 weeks and since he goes to bed at 7, you and your husband can finally crawl under the blankets and reignite some of that intimacy you once cherished and were able to attain because there was so. much. freedom. And now, there it is again.

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Ash sent me an IM Wednesday afternoon saying he had a question to ask me when we got home. Since I am a skeptic, I was worried it was something we were going to need to fix or something he wanted to do that cost a lot of money. I was actually – to be honest – panicking slightly.  Luckily, he wanted to give me two birthday options:

a.) a gift with a relatively large price tag. Probably a laptop or new camera

OR

b.) take a trip to New York City to co-celebrate with our friend, Jeff, and other people we know.

At first, I was pretty sure that if I opted for the gift, Ash would still be going to NY for Jeff’s birthday but I was mistaken. And then the guilt set in. Because if I did that, then Ash would not get to see Jeff, though I would get a 30th birthday here with my new gift. Eh, I decided in the end that I’d rather have an experience over something physical.

So we’re going to New York City on the 27th of March and coming back on the 29th, driving home the following day. My parents will watch Elliot. I am looking forward to it because I have never actually been to New York City. Though I have traveled a lot in my lifetime, that’s not one of the places my family ever went. We’re hoping to do some of the touristy things and eat at nice restaurants.  I know it’s awfully negative but I probably won’t like it as much as Chicago, but we’ll see. It’s an experience and once we have another kid, who knows when just Ash and I will get to travel again?

With that said, I have a lot of work to do so I am off. See you on the flip-side – aka Friday.