by allstarme

Weddings and speculations


I really feel as if today will pass under the radar, like so many other days, as being non-existent, unimportant. And I worry about that, even though what I should do is change it, not sit here and fret. It’s 11:05 and I haven’t accomplished a whole hell of a lot. I’ve thought a lot; about my inevitable email reply to someone, about how the dogs accidentally broke my Body Shop oil burner yesterday, about how I have so many upcoming … things. Doctor’s appointment on Thursday that will possibly change my life, how I have gained weight and I don’t think it’s from eating, how I have four weddings to attend this year. Yes, I wanted to talk about that.

So, out of the four weddings I will attend, I can pretty much guarantee that two of them will last. I know that’s terribly negative but the rates are too high these days and I fear that people don’t take commitment seriously. When Ash and I got married, we made sure we wanted this and that we weren’t going to do something that we were afraid, in any even remotely tiny way, would have a chance of falling apart. We met late in 1999 (or was it 98?) and got married in the Fall of 2005. That’s a pretty long time, in my opinion. When our first year anniversary came around, I couldn’t believe it had been that long – it seemed like only days. So yes, I believe that out of the four, D and S will both have successful marriages. C and A, well, I don’t know. C is marrying a girl who was the “wait ’til marriage type” and I, personally, don’t think it’s a good idea to buy a car without test-driving it. A is marrying a person with whom she has been on and off for god, more than a decade. I truly hope they make it work once and for all.

I don’t know if people are just becoming lazy or bored but it feels like less and less people realize the sanctity of marriage, as a union not a government affair, mind you. Who wouldn’t want the stability and loyalty? But perhaps it’s simply not for everyone. Your ideas?

7 thoughts on “Weddings and speculations”

  1. I worry about the on and off relationships. When those couples do get married, it seems to be a matter of convenience, or a fall back plan because you’re comfortable with each other.

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  2. Thanks for sharing your insight about marriage. I feel the same way: people don’t get the sanctity of marriage anymore. That is actually a large part of the reason I oppose all laws banning gay marriage: it reinforces forgetting the sanctity. It make marriage soley about sex and taxes from the government’s perspective, while it’s about SO much more than that!

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  3. Marriage doesn’t work for everyone. I got married for one reason, while a friend of mine got married for another. I don’t think either one of us was wrong about our reasons. It’s unrealistic to assume that any marriage is forever. And I don’t think the respect and loyalty come with getting married. Some of the most miserable people I know are married.

    I respect why you did it, and that you thought it out. D and I did as well. For a long time, we decided it wasn’t for us. I had a hard time with the idea of divorce, of going through that process, so the possibility scared me. But I realized that if D and I break up, it would be devastating regardless of whether or not we were married. Marriage is what you make it, and for now, it makes me very happy.

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  4. Perhaps I missed the “sanctity of marriage” class. What exactly does that mean? (and I know what the words mean… I’m more interested in the personal definition)

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  5. To me, it means the ultimate commitment. I think people – and I refer to those who are in a different class of say, shallowness (it’s all I can come up with to describe people who think in these totally different and silly ways)m- think that they can choose not to marry and then, as I have seen it, they use that as an excuse to cheat. Of course, we all know that there are people who do this while married as well. So I guess what I mean is that there’s this entity, intangible, that surrounds what I mean by sanctity of marriage. I hope this makes sense. I hope no one thinks I suck.

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