Good morning, one and all. It is cold here: 32 but feels like 25. I broke out the scarf this morning, along with the mittens. Sure, I only walk about 100 yards from my car to the building but still, I wouldn’t want to get chilled. I am drinking tea and yet, I am still shivering. Maybe I am getting sick.
It was difficult getting out of bed this morning – it was so toasty and warm and I was having such a strange and fantastic dream. I was in a swimming contest with 3 other people, one of which being a guy I know from school, and I was winning. I was doing the backstroke (the style in which I won many times in middle school) but everyone else was freestyle. Yet, I was able to win each time. It was a satisfying dream.
Yesterday was a very long day. I didn’t get home until about 6:50 (only 20 minutes short of being up and out almost 12 hours). On the way home, I caught a piece on NPR in which they interviewed three U.S. soldiers. It was terrifying what they discussed. All three men agreed that nothing we see reported about the “war” on tv is anything like what they witnessed: people crawling through the streets with limbs blown off, small children crying endlessly, lost, land-mine damaged, the smell of burning flesh a constant smell that these men say they can never forget. All three returned home to their base and were given a survey to determine whether or not they were experiencing signs of PTSD or any other mental issues. The military apparently has a great front for mental health care but all three soldiers say that once they turned in the questionaire, not once did someone try to get them some help. Each of the three men experienced the same post-war symptoms: they would have nightmares and wake up with their hands around their wives’ necks. One interview with a wife really put me over the edge – I was crying in my car – because she said that her husband will be fine one minute and the next, shove her for no reason, not even realizing he did it. She lost the man she fell in love with. The moment I got home, I hugged Ash and told him never to go to war. Things all came together perfectly because after having a minor breakdown about the inequality of chores in the house on Sunday night, Ash decided he would do more. When I got home, he had the Christmas tree on and the tart burner going, the little Christmas village lit up on the side table.
We decided then to go grocery shopping and then to Lowes for some hardcore scissors. We had a great evening, the perfect end to a very long, busy day. I wish sometimes that life could feel as perfect as that all the time. But you and I know that it has peaks and valleys. And it’s not how you are when you’re riding high but how you do it through the bad, how you pull yourself through it so that when you come to that mountain top and see all the good in the world, you can truly enjoy it.
Happy Tuesday.
incognitusscriptor.com 
I heard that on NPR too. One thing I found startling was that those soldiers who aren’t having PTSD symptoms think that those who do are either faking it to get out of the Army or else they just need to shake it off.
Yes, because it’s just that easy to forget seeing a helpless person’s leg blown off their body.
The tail end of that story really got me. One of the soldiers that criticized his fellow soldiers for faking the disorder ended up going into the mental health program for PTSD himself. I think that there are a lot of guys who deny they have it because they do see it as a weakness, and remaining strong in the eyes of their platoon is more important than caring for themselves. The human mind was not made to witness such atrocities.
And people tell me that I shouldn’t worry about my cousins! 3 of the 4 are there and the last is about to be on his way!
I can not tell you the number of times people tell me that they’ll be okay, that they are doing their duty, that this is what they wanted. Bull Sh** I tell them! I want them home damn it!
I won’t go on since this is topic that I’m very emotional about with but I totally agree with you on this one. Thank god for programs like NPR where the truth of things actually comes out and people can make an informed decision.
I support the troops, just not Georgie Boy.