On and on it goes

Man, what a morning. It was the kind of morning where you’re already late and you can’t find stuff and when you get in the car with all the kids, you find that you left the radio on XM’s Lithium – which is uncensored – and Nine Inch Nails blares on with “I want to f*** you like an animal”. And as you quickly change it, your seven year old has a melt-down reminiscent of when fights used to start in school. One kid lays an insult and kids are all going “Oooooh!” He reacted just like that when he heard it. I had to nip that one right in the bud and then try to move on with my day. I took them all to their various places, then got Ash from way past my work to take him to his work (his car is being worked on) and then I myself went to get my car worked on.

I shouldn’t complain; it’s going to cost me a whole lot less than Honda. But still. Ugh. I got back to work and realized that – again – my key card for the parking lot was gone. I swear my children must be throwing them away when I tell them I’ll pay them a dollar to clean out my car. Well, as an experiment, I used a Starbucks gift card and – lo and behold – any old card will open the gate. Mwuhahaha. I literally laughed hysterically as I realized this and drove around for a spot. Had anyone been walking, they’d have heard me and thought me mad.

So here I am, buried under work I have no interest in doing, and trying to feel normal. You know those days? If your routine is broken up, everything just feels weird.

BUT, we had a pretty good weekend. We finally got a new washing machine, though it’s not going to be delivered until Friday. We didn’t do anything else special ON my birthday. In fact, I made different food for each person in my house because I’m a good mom. And I ate oatmeal for dinner!

Saturday morning started early, with Ash dropping Ell and I off near the race start line around 7:30. It was a great morning for a run: 43 and sunny. Elliot did very well but I jacked up my knee on an uphill and it was a tough run back down said hill. But when it was over, I felt pretty good in general. In fact, I worked my ass off all weekend: we mowed and weeded and cleaned. It was nice.

That night, we met six of our friends at hurricane for my birthday and had a great time! Sabrina had to leave early but Greg came back and the rest of us closed that place down. Though I had intended to go to the new “barcade” in midtown, we had fun at the restaurant anyway.

So today, I am worried about money and the summer but this always seems to work out, even when it’s at the seemingly worst of times. I am hoping to just be ok, as always. I don’t know. Sometimes life is just such a crazy up and down roller coaster. I wouldn’t change anything about it, but sometimes I’d like it to stop spinning so much.

Friday Five – Come on, April

Five Thoughts:

  1. I try very hard not to think that the world is against me but man, it’s been one of those weeks. Woke up this morning and Elliot wasn’t feeling well and said he was going to throw up. Something seemed fishy and you know what? Report cards go home today. Surprise surprise. He got so worked up he threw up – though it may just be a coincidence. He’s staying home but the principal is what bothers me.
  2. But I did get my free birthday drink from Starbucks so that is pretty awesome!
  3. Yesterday, I left work a bit early to get Elliot registered for camp and then I also picked up our race packets for tomorrow. I was feeling so good about everything! Then I got home and our already broken washer (it still washes clothes, but the water doesn’t drain so it just leaks out.) left an even larger puddle so even though we thought we might could put it off a few months, it looks like we’ll need to make that purchase a little sooner.
  4. I’m not sure why March is playing with my heart in such cruel ways but as per yesterday’s post, I guess I need to get over it; accept it or whatever.
  5. It’s supposed to be cool and sunny tomorrow when we run out 5k so that’s a bonus! I’m looking forward to having it done, and I am always nervous about driving to events, parking, making sure Baby is ok with food and all. Someone tell me to relax; it’s going to be ok!

Five Photos:

I don’t think I even posted any of my Epcot trip pics. Here’s a good one:16846160695_75c0bf277e_z

I made Elliot read this to me out loud, because he loves to tell me how mean I am:a74c37003d6614dedaf7655f86a6efd2

I need to take heed:b2ee75a688e7b0c2604480fa47470375

It’s a trap! (literally)18ea8c358624da2c16dade78cbe2251c

And now, not a photo but a song, because I like the message, kind of.

Run and hide

Uh oh; I’m starting to get that “I need to run away and hide” feeling. I’m overwhelmed and worried about money and now, my car is having issues. And they aren’t cheap to fix. Why is it that this always happens when you can least afford it – both in time and money? Le sigh. It’s always right around this time of the year that I begin to stress about all this…stuff.  And I can’t be the only mom who feels this way. Or maybe everyone else has some kind of secret to suppressing their angst about, well, everything.

I know there are things I cannot remember; I’m going to drop the ball and be left muttering “Oh shit…” when I realize it’s something I can’t fix. No matter how hard I try to get organized this week, my brain is just not with it. And I am struggling.

I take solace in coffee in the morning and beer in the evening. I’m exercising and sleeping better due to eating better but still – sometimes you cannot help but get the feels about issues in your life. It might be time to make two lists: one for the things I have to get done and another of the things that will bring me joy and that I am thankful for.

I should be thankful that we can take a trip later this year; that we can afford to fix my car; to eat, to eat out; that our children are healthy; that I have car issues and not body issues. That I have a job and nice things and a roof over my head. We should all take a moment to just be present and thankful.8dcbd0a02c3de6fdb66d7ff6a47598ec

Still.

I am restless and irritated and I need to go register Elliot for camp and it’s raining and I didn’t take a lunch break so I just want out of here.

And tomorrow is my birthday so… yeah. Bring it on.

Wednesday Hodgepodge – Easter and Hope

1. This coming weekend is Palm Sunday, which marks the beginning of Holy Week. Do you celebrate Easter in your home? What was your favorite Easter tradition as a child?

As a kid, Easter was a semi-big deal: we went to church and dyed eggs and of course, had Easter baskets. Now that I have kids, we dye eggs if they show interest, have Easter baskets, and I have taken them to a local egg hunt. We went to church last year but we’ll see hwo it goes. LOL. Sometimes the kids are just NOT in the mood and I admit to being a little lazy. 

I think my favorite thing was finding the baskets the next morning and I always wanted to hunt for eggs but we just never did.

 

2.  George Weinberg is quoted as saying, “Hope never abandons you, you abandon it.” Agree or disagree? Share you own thoughts on the word hope.

I do agree. It’s so easy to get down and just give up but I keep hope alive, I really do. I honestly used to be such a pessimist but since I had children, I have to keep my chin up for them… so I do.

3. Weigh in with a yay or nay on the traditional Easter candies. Peeps? Jellybeans? Cadbury Creme Eggs, Solid milk chocolate bunny? Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs? Coconut Cream Eggs? Of the candies listed, which one would you most like to find in your Easter basket?

Yes to all except chocolate bunnies; they’re bland. But I love me some creme eggs… mmmm.2300389688_eafa58ec6f_z

4. When did you last feel like ‘a kid in a candy store‘?

Hmm, I guess when I went to the used kids’ clothing store to load up for Dakota. I found some super cute outfits and a shirt for Isaac and it was SO cheap. It was great! 

5. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Does that bother you? Does it bother other people?

I cannot think of anything specifically but there are house things and parenting techniques I employ that bother my mom. And not because they are “wrong” but because she believes differently. But since it is MY life and MY house and MY kids, she really has no say. She tries, oh how she tries, but I brush it off.

6. Palm Springs CA, Palm Beach FL, or the PALMetto State…of the three spots mentioned, which one would you most like to visit right now? Which have you visited at one time or another?

I guess I shall say Palm Beach because my grandparents lived in North P.B. then moved to P.D. Gardens and so we spent a good deal of time down there.

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7. If you could change the length of a day would you lengthen it or shorten it? Tell us why?

If I could do this, I would want to somehow stick an extra hour in the morning. I work best in the morning but sometime between 12 and three I get a little stuck. If I could get one more hour between nine and 10 to e productive without running into the slump time, that’d be excellent.

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

My life is usually busy. This week, it seems particularly so. We have upcoming races and a party for my b-day and baseball games start Monday. I have grading to slog through and work to do and, well, I wish I could say there will be some kind of break but you know, there never is. Next break? June. LOL. And somehow, it’ll be here before I know it!

Random Tuesday – Weight loss, reminiscing

Hey everyone, time for some Random; you ready?

Stacy Uncorked

 

  • I was down two pounds this morning; yay! I may have jump started my body into losing weight so now, if I keep it up, maybe this will work. I’m really hopeful about it. And not really hating this healthy food. Not yet anyway.
  • I know it’s sad to say but I had a dream the other night that I didn’t have all this flab on my belly. I saw something on facebook that was by a mom who wore a bikini proudly because her stomach fat was her battle scar from three kids. Though I feel this way too, I also don’t think people want to be subjected to that. People are, for the most part, really shallow and I figure, it’s a common courtesy. Besides, I think I’d feel a little more confident and proud if I lost the weight because I ate better and worked out. It isn’t JUST about “being skinny”. Hell, I am pretty sure I will never be “skinny”.
  • Stacy, our host, talked about the guy with the accidental wedding invite in her post today so along the lines of weddings… I am wondering if I’m going to get invited to an old’s friend’s upcoming wedding. She’s talking about it on FB a lot and I am only about 4 hours from where she lives. We were out of touch for a long time but speak and comment fairly regularly through fb. It will be interesting! I think I’d go if she asked.
  • I need to make a list today; things keep popping up then immediately disappearing and I know I am going to drop the ball somewhere. Do you write on paper to remind yourself of things or do you use some other form?

Now onto the Tuesday chat prompt below:

17 Again!  If you could be any age again, for one week, what age would you be?

I think I would pick… 26. Ash and I had been married about a year, I was the thinnest I had been in years, and we had no children yet. Our days consisted of working, then coming home and eating dinner while watching basketball or football. We went out often – just to stores or friends’ houses – and we were big into rock climbing. I LOVED those days of ours. We had so much time and energy and our days were for US. I don’t regret kids for one moment and they fill my life so much more than before; I was sometimes bored before. But it would be interesting to go back and live like that and actually appreciate it. I didn’t then; I only do now because of how much busier we are!431876889_eceab06af9_z

We were so young!

MMMM + Out of sorts/in a funk

OF COURSE it’s going to be rainy today; I’m already feeling blah. I shouldn’t; I finally vented my irrational irritations last night but I still feel annoyed. My birthday is Friday and things aren’t as perfect as they’d seemed. At first, everyone could come. Then one by one, they have other plans. So be it. But I just feel kind of sad about it. But eh, I’ll get a burger and beer and have a damn good time regardless.

So, my weekend: Ash and I saw The Gunman after a hibachi lunch and it was just ok – the movie, not the food. The food was amazing. Funny thing though: I have been keeping track of my calories for the past two weeks and the app (Loseit!) set my daily intake at 1572 if I want to lose 15 pounds (not taking into account exercise). So on a a daily basis, I’ve been coming in under that goal by at least 100 if not 200 calories. SO, I can’t eat as much anymore. I know it’s a good thing but it’s also interesting to see those changes. I feel so much better and I have not been falling asleep on the couch early. Speaking of, Elliot and I run a 5k (feels lame to say, considering I’ve done halfs) on Saturday and we have to really buckle down this week and eat right and get in some good runs. Hopefully it won’t be raining this afternoon.

OH, so after we got home on Friday, my parents arrived with my oldest son, who had been with them the whole week. It was nice to get him back but man, he was in a FUNK. Saturday, he and I ran and then we went out to lunch before my parents got on the road; my mom had to work on Sunday. The weekend seemed to drag on and on. I took the kids to run errands while Ash was in a Magic tournament all afternoon. The next morning, he had to run 15 miles so again, it was me and those creatures. It was fine, of course. I cleaned and they played and then we ran a few errands. We had burgers for lunch (yay! Ash never wants to eat them anymore) and then everyone took naps, which was glorious.

I’m back to work today but so is Elliot; these stupid teacher workday after a break things kill. But every working parent is in the same boat so I’ll shut up about it.

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Love me a freebie week!

Let’s start off with some Ozzy because, why not?

And a beachy song because that’s on my brain.

 

Wednesday Hodgepodge – All green and stuff

1. Share a favorite song, book, or movie title containing the word green.

The first thing that came to mind was Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, which I enjoyed when I read it in college. And then I thought of Green River by CCR. Good old classic rock.

2. Ralph Waldo Emerson is quoted as saying, ‘Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.’ Would you agree? Are you a believer in luck?

I think that luck does sometimes befall me but I also believe some have it more than others. I also think some people who think they are “unlucky” are simply doing things to set themselves up for failure.

3. Spring water, Hot Springs, handspring, spring fling, spring break, spring fever, offspring…which ‘spring’ word best applies to something in your day, week, or life right now?

Hmm I’ll say spring fling because Tallahassee is awash with spring things, mostly pollen. It’s in the air, it’s a haze that lights on everything it touches: my car, my clothes, the animals. I don’t necessarily mind it because it’s a renewal and once we have one rain storm, most of it will wash away and the flowers will start coming out.

4. What’s something you do to make yourself look or feel more confident?

Interesting question. I have a few necklaces and bracelets and whenever I put them on, I feel more confident. Maybe that’s odd but it’s true.

 

5. It’s National Celery Month…are you a fan? If so, what’s a snack or dish you enjoy that calls for celery?

I don’t eat it a lot but I do like it. It’s fine in soups and salads but my all-time favorite is this: you soften cream cheese, chop green olives, add salt and a little of the olive juice and mix. Then you put it in the celery and… joy!3890e67d558fd4d8255cf4586d7ee5b3

6. What’s one thing you wish you’d learned sooner?

See the earlier question about confidence! I wish I hadn’t spent so much time feeling bad about myself. I needed self-confidence much earlier on.

7.  Would you like to own a second home? If so, where would you want that home to be?

That’s easy: yes. I want a beach house. Sure, that’s cliche, but I would do just about anything to make that happen.bc979c62651da8eb1d3c3c2914aa2818

8.  Insert your own random thought here.
My to-do list is a mile long this week. I have to grade papers and work on the Fall schedule and attend some meetings and sign Elliot up for camp and… and… it’s so much! Who else is ready to just get away? I never truly get a Spring Break. I’m ready for the beach, especially after today’s question!

Random Tuesday – Clover, bagpipes, tattoos, yeah!

Stacy Uncorked
  • It’s been a weird morning already: Isaac didn’t seem hungry, we were super early to daycare, traffic was moving slower than normal, my normal parking lot is closed off for an event, and as I got into the elevator at work, the lights flickered and it failed to understand I pressed a button. I walked three flights up instead.
  • But it’s St. Patty’s Day so I am playing various Dropkick Murphys songs in my office. In 2003? 2004? Ash and I saw them at a little dive bar on the West side of town. The opener was Lars Fredericksen (of Rancid fame) and it was one of the best shows… ever. It was also my birthday. Go Irish!
  • SO. I have figured out my next tattoo. It’ll be the kids’ names… in their handwriting. I am so stoked too. I’m probably going to put it on the inside of my right ankle. I’ll be even then: one on my left ankle, left calf, right calf, and then that. I may go back to Elliot’s kindergarten things and get his name at age five, then as soon as Isaac turns five, grab his. I’ll leave space for Dakota in the future. :) Here’s an example of someone who did the same:d92862376a7c21d3c9d98a0342790853
  • I get all giddy when I think about getting it. Not only am I excited to have them a permanent part of me (not like they aren’t already; kids sort of brand themselves on you regardless ;) ) but I love getting tattooed. At first, it hurts. And this script will certainly hurt because of the finer needle used but after a little while, you enter this weird space. It’s sort of like subspace (which I’m not going into because, well, look it up!) and then it’s a great feeling. So, yay!
  • In about thirty minutes, I have to run off to Isaac’s field trip so I’ll move on. ttyl!

MMMM + What a long strange trip it’s been

::Raises hand:: Present! I am, I promise. I had my venti latte and now I am grinding out these things on my list, left over from last week.

Despite having to drive a lot, my weekend was great. Got to Orlando around 4:30 and hung out a bit before going to a Greek restaurant where we sat outside and I ate way too much. The next morning, my mom had to work but the rest of us went to Epcot. It was the flower and garden festival so it was pretty, but also crowded. We had fun though, even if Baby was somewhat scared of even the slowest rides. It was amusing; she’s normally not like that but she clung to me for dear life! Though it was kind of hot, we still had fun and ate good food and drank some tasty beer. Sad thing is, I had a pretty bad headache; pretty sure it was from not having coffee in the morning. As much as I kind of hate that there’s a Starbucks IN Disney, I was pretty damn grateful for it too. We finished up a bit after 2, then stopped by an egg farm my parents love to go to.20150314_141527_resized

My dad and oldest and youngest in front of the Epcot fountain.

My middle boy and husband had a great time while we were gone: they saw a movie and had lunch and went to an arcade. I think it was good for them to be on their own a bit.

I drove back yesterday and basically started working as soon as I was home: laundry, mowed both yards, then went to the grocery store. By 9, I was DONE. Finished. Sleepy.

And now I’m at work and figuring out funny songs to share!

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This first one is from an old Mtv show, Sifl and Olly. This is one of my favorite funny songs they did.

The sync is off on any of the versions I find of this next one but this is another classic funny song.

And another random, weird song:

Friday Five – Crazy life continues

Five Thoughts:

  • Ash sprained his ankle and has been furiously rehabbing it, hoping to run on Saturday. Except we hit a snag yesterday morning when I realized we had no plan in place for the dogs. I.E. where the heck would they stay while we’re in the hotel? Sigh. I can’t board them because Zoey is remiss in her shots and personally, I’m not interested in getting all that done right now. SO, the plan now is that he’s not doing the race; he canceled the hotel room and I am going to take Elliot to my parents’ later (Dakota in tow) and then come back Sunday. He’s staying there for the duration of Spring Break. (We were originally just leaving Jax after the race and going there.)
  • Ash will stay home with Isaac, who can help him hobble around and also, help out with the dogs in my absence. I know this makes my husband sound like he isn’t capable but that isn’t true. This worry is all born out of my own guilt. I tend to think of myself as the main caregiver to all (the Earth Mother if you will) so I feel bad if I cut out and leave family members to their own devices. It should be fine with just one kid though.
  • Around midnight, Isaac came into our room saying his stomach hurt and I wracked my brain thinking what might ease it so as we walked into the kitchen, he started to wretch. I got the bowl under him just in time. I fixed him up a pallet in the bathroom and he slept in there, though no more puke. Fingers crossed it was one-time deal. He felt ok this morning.
  • This is one of the coolest things I have ever seen! The Writer Automaton This is most definitely Steampunk inspiration.
  • This week went so quickly, mostly because worked picked up towards the end. Spring Break is about to be over and my life just keeps chugging along, no break, ever. BUT, I think while my mom works tomorrow until 3, my dad is going to take us to EPCOT. It’s the Flower and Garden festival and I have never, in all my years of going to Disney, been during this time. So, yay! (Since my mom can get us in for free, popping in for a few hours is totally reasonable!)

Five Photos:

A vintage EPCOT photo!abfc0d7bfb06a8ae149ec72680f33c11

Didn’t know that!9b6242029359f009b70b8475cd031eb2

Thank God it is over!61b0f7df2c39b373bb26d5a31a06e387

See? The beach misses me.aee86ae613d376fe1baea38c7d96822a

It would appear that Elliot took my phone and took a picture of these two while I was not in the car. I can’t remember where I would have been, other than running out to grab something before leaving the driveway. But anyway, I thought this was funny when I found it.20150307_103152_resized