Funny enough, I have a journal where all I do (basically) is track my moods and make notes to keep my life together and I haven’t been using it. I don’t even think I am THAT busy! I did write in my physical journal the other day while in my office. A thing of note: a student actually came to my office the other day. That’s a rarity!
Anyway, I felt really motivated today. The kind of motivated where you handle those things you keep putting off – the ones that give you anxiety but you know once you do it, it’ll take no time at all and you’ll feel a huge weight lifted.
I’m also getting more aggressive about trying to heal whatever is wrong with my knee. My husband says I should go to the doctor but at the same time, we agree that it seems like we have less real doctors and more google doctors. They are good at performing doctor tasks but shit at diagnosing. Half the time, you need them to use their deductive reasoning and knowledge to figure out what is actually wrong. Despite that, I have been feeling a lot better now that I’m stretching more, icing more, and wearing a compression sleeve. If after another week of this it isn’t feeling better, I guess I’ll give in and hit up Urgent Care. Because if I go to my GP, she’s just going to send me elsewhere for x-rays. And Urgent Care already does that.
I think I’m overcoming my allergy/mucus inundation as well. Last week my face was all congested and I could feel the pain of it all compacted in my sinus cavities. This week I cannot stop blowing my nose! I guess that’s good though; getting rid of unwanted crud is exactly what I want.
So, I find myself increasingly more… superstitious? That’s not the right word but it’s this feeling where, if I think too far ahead and make plans, I feel like things may fall apart. Maybe I am subconsciously trying to protect myself from disappointment. Anyway, this means that though I DO plan ahead, I still operate mostly day to day. So when the kids ask if we’re, say, leaving Thursday or Friday for Pensacola, my brain goes into a tailspin and I can’t make a decision. It stresses me out but why?
Anyway, our plan is to leave Thursday after school/work and go to my parents’. I haven’t been there in a while and I am excited! Actually, I just looked it up and the last time we spent a weekend there was mid-July! Elliot and I were there briefly in September for the concert but wow, that’s a good long while. We’ve obviously seen my parents but not gone there. And to be honest, I do love Pensacola. I can’t wait. Friday though, Ash and I are driving to Biloxi for a Dokken concert. They are legit one of the best 80s hair bands and I am happy to check them off my list. Excited to have half the day Friday in Pensacola and then all the rest of Saturday once we get back. We leave early Sunday because Isaac has a birthday party to go to.
So yes, I think things look good for me right now, even if I don’t have as much money as before and no prospects just yet. I do begin an express session 1101 course on Monday and will continue that for the next 8 weeks on MW. It’s a lot of hours spent for not a lot of money but I feel like it shows something about my work ethic and who knows? Maybe by Fall I’ll be full time there.