I say that because what IS normal anymore? My life has been in a state of transition for months. Funny though; I was thinking about how, at my old job, once I got my teaching stuff done, my normal 40 hour a week job was very slow this time of year. The few things I needed to accomplish got done quickly and then once faculty and students were gone, we staff just hung out. And I hated thinking about everything I could be doing at home. Well, this year, no worries. After this week, I’ll be home until January 7th. And though I have online classes to do, there’s no going to an office. It’s so very liberating.
Our holiday was very good. A few slip-ups here and there (and my oldest was a jerk but again, he’s 12) but no one in my family fought and no one was mad at each other. My parents left at the right time and we got to go back to our normal-ish routine. And today, all kids are back to school. In fact, my oldest asked to be taken early so he could print something and get extra math help. Shocking!
I do feel a little out of sorts and I find myself dwelling on holiday stress, not to mention still having foot pain, the apparent leak in our pool liner, and the huge amount of grading I need to do. I also need to find time to get two new tires and mow the back yard. I sometimes feel motivated and gung-ho about tasks and at other timed, the weight of them all makes me incredibly scared. There, I said it. I am just scared to begin, I guess. I am usually very good at shelving emotion and just Getting It Done but lately, I have felt a mess. What to do? Drink more, I guess. Just kidding!
I think I need to do some of those sappy “self-care” things women always talk about on the internet. I mean, they aren’t wrong but I also hate labeling stuff. Oh, I’m taking a bath – that’s self-care. Hack, koff, gross. Stop naming everything! Anyway, I think once I get going at work today (and eat some food – I do get hangry) then I’ll feel pretty good. I think that’s what I really need right now: to feel productive. And I definitely need Tuesday, the day I spend at home, by myself. Since two Tuesdays ago, I have had someone home with me. Ell was sick then all the kids were home, then we had family here. I just need to organize my time by myself!
I guess we are just doing Xmas songs for the foreseeable future? I’m just going to share the ones that make me feel the coziest.