Random Tuesday – One step forward, two steps back

Well, I think Stacy is back today so we’ll be randoming it up in the usual fashion; yay!

Stacy

  • I gave Baby Girl avocado this weekend. That makes 3/3 kids who completely hated it. I, for one, LOVE it. And when I was pregnant with her, I had a major avocado craving at the end of my first trimester so I have no idea why she doesn’t love it too. ;)
  • I’m going to start watching True Detective, because everyone tells me how great it is. You’d better all not be wrong!
  • I gave myself Monday to do literally nothing productive in my office. It’s Spring Break and although no students are here, I certainly have enough I could be doing. But for one day, I mentally checked out.
  • Actually, I feel pretty happy this week. It’s been a while since I haven’t felt beaten down. I have some extra money and I’ve lost a little weight and yeah, things are good.
  • Last night, Ash and I started T25. It’s pretty rugged but I can tell it’s going to work and I am excited. I mean, it’s going to be hard, no doubt. But oh how I would like to lose this weight.
  • I am already dreaming about the beach. We’ve had a brief glimpse of Spring, which then makes me think about Summer and going to St. George. Who knows… my mom may end up in Pensacola permanently and when we go to visit, BEACH!
  • I wouldn’t say I am obsessed but I am really digging Ricki Hall. I may have mentioned that I am starting a new romance so I am doing research for my hero. He will be bearded and tattooed and yeah, he’s going to be awesome. I love the power of imagination: I can create whatever kind of man I want!ba1880463e70ed8ecda0bb31fe4bea9f3740f6f54fbda8ccb889e8af7cce6b83
  • Ok that’s it for my welcome back to Random Tuesday post. I am glad it’s here again!

MMMM + Excellent weekend (for the most part)

As mentioned last week,  I was solo parenting the baby while my men-folk were down in Orlando at my parents’ house. Let me tell you this: the hours pass very slowly when it’s just me and a cranky baby. It also made me VERY glad I have the family I do. I see now how much I need that crazy hectic loud evening-time every night. I LIKE that noise!

So, yes. My mother got into town around 8-8:30 Friday night. She came bearing Subway so that was pretty nice. I may fall asleep on the couch on a normal night but when my husband and kids aren’t there, I totally do not. But my mom and I retired around 10:45 that night. Got up the next morning, made breakfast and hung around until noon when we went to Masa and ate our weight in sushi. SO amazing. And Baby Girl was good, which is nice because it’s not the most casual place and since it had just opened, we were one of only three parties even there. After that, we swung by the house and then went down to the J.R. Alford Greenway. Sadly, we walked the old portion and didn’t realize how to get to the new bridge. But it was still nice; it was about 66 out and sunny, clear blue skies. We definitely got our workout! After that, we went into Costco, then on to Whole Foods. When we left there, my car wouldn’t start. I’m beginning to think it isn’t just a battery issue! It’s about once every three weeks, it just won’t start up. But it’s never the first time that day. It’s the second or third time I begin it. I don’t get it!

I was going to take the car into Honda today but on a forum, I read about another person having this issue but when they took it in and the dealership couldn’t replicate the problem, they blew him off. I am very reluctant to do it then but who knows the next time it’ll happen!

On Sunday we made a huge salad for lunch and my mom left around 4:30. Around 5:30, the rest of my brood was finally home! I know they were all glad the trip was over but they were all a bit cranky. I’m glad we’re relatively back to normal today though. Ash will go to Magic tonight and the boys will eat chicken nuggets and I’ll watch Bones at 8. Yeah, I need that normalcy.

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This week’s theme is “British Invasion” so I’ve chosen the first few songs that come to mind when I realized songs I already liked as a kid were part of that movement.

My dad used to say this was a song that reminded him of me and our relationship. It was a bit tumultuous when I was little.

And here’s another I loved. Once I saw the Help! movie, I was really  obsessed with the Beatles.

The first Stones song I ever liked.

And for fun, my favorite Tom Jones song:

Friday Confessions – Jump on it

I confess… I missed the level of care and detail I previously put into my blog. I am back now for a little while. I am not totally inundated with work so fun things may resume.

I confess… Though I did enjoy my alone time last night somewhat I also felt pretty lonely. On nights Ash is out, I at least take solace in the fact that my kids are there, sleeping. On my drive home, I had this weird emptiness because not only was my family gone, but the neighbors are gone too. They left Wednesday. Nancy will be back on the 12th but geez, that era is finished.

I confess… I am still hopeful that a nice family will move in. Knowing my luck, we’ll get an older couple who hates kids and dogs. UGH.

I confess… this is what I had for dinner last night: two biscuits, one with cheese on it, one plain, two fried eggs, and four pieces of turkey bacon. Not the healthiest but the tastiest!

I confess… I have to clean my office; it’s a hot mess. But with Spring Break next week, I will have some extra time. The idea of cleaning gets me all excited, to be honest. Good thing, right? Because I have a ton to do when I get home. My mom says, “Oh, you don’t have to clean for me.” But it’s a trap!its-a-trap-what-happens-when-advertisers-dont-meet-twitters-spending-quotas

 

The fear of not knowing

UGH. Ash is driving with the boys to Orlando today and he’s not answering his phone. One of the worst things EVER. He texted me to ask my parents’ address – obviously for GPS purposes – but then didn’t answer. I can only surmise that a.) he’s on the phone with his brother, who also flies in there today or b.) didn’t hear his phone over the laptop, which is probably in the center console playing a movie for the boys. Still, I just hate worrying. I worry a lot, though maybe less than I used to. But what’s a mom to do when 3/5 of her family is on the roads and it’s raining? I’m finding it hard to concentrate on work when I don’t know if they’re ok.

On the other hand, there’s a part of me that feels alright and believe they’re just fine. I think it’s my leftover Catholic faith that rescues me here. Sure, I may not be an avid church-goer anymore but I grew up in Catholicism and having a strong faith in God. I’m not a bible-reader or a volunteer in the church. I feel bad that I sometimes treat religion like a buffet – picking and choosing what suits me. But I put my mind at ease when I pray and I always remember thinking that if I took anything away from preaching as a child, that it was the power of prayer. And whether there really is a God or not, believing that he’s got my back and won’t let anything bad happen to my family definitely makes me feel a lot better.

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Not twenty minutes after crafting this post, I received a text. They were in Gainesville, stopping for lunch. I definitely feel a lot better.

Now I can work on the myriad things in front of me. I ate me a Jimmy Johns sandwich and the day is cruising along. I am looking forward to my evening; I can’t lie. It’s rare that I’m in the house alone (baby girl won’t count tonight ;) ) so I look forward to having my own time.

 

Crash

I feel like a lot of things are coming crashing down this week; small slip-ups, little failures; tiny stresses for everyone. On Monday night, we were that family in Target. I was the mom speaking in clipped phrases, hushed tones to her children. “Hey, put that down.” and “No, stop messing with the cart.” All the while, it was nearly 6:45 and Baby Girl decided that check out was the time to begin crying because of sleepiness. We left hurriedly, my children wondering if I was going to lose it any second. I managed to keep calm and composed, however.

Driving back, I looked over to see Elliot sobbing quietly. “What’s wrong?”, I asked. His answer was not what I expected. “I don’t want to have to be a grown-up someday and pay bills. I just wanna be a kid.” I calmed him and reminded him just how long he has to be a kid and not to worry about the future. He was quiet a second – doing the math – and replied, “I only have 11 years before I go to college! It’s not enough time!”

What seven year old worries about this? Now I worry for him because he’s a thinker and emotional and lets this stuff get to him. I had no worries about the future when I was a kid. I worried about doing well in school and making more friends and being a well-behaved daughter. But it’s like I knew better than to think of a time when I had to worry about much larger issues. I wish he could find a way to put all that away for a while.

Yesterday, I was on pick-up duty and when we got Isaac, we saw he had gotten on red at school. This is a very rare occurrence for my middle boy. He is almost always on green; yellow happens only every now and then. He seemed to feel no remorse for his bad behaviour, which is what bothered me even more. The final nail in the coffin was when Ash finally got home. He slipped in the back door and the boys didn’t notice until a few minutes later. Isaac comes running out, “Daddy, you’re home! I got on green today!” A lie! Isaac is the honest child, the one who never wants a spanking but if he must, wants to know if it will hurt and immediately feels sorry for what he did. So this is relatively disconcerting, though I tell myself it’s just a phase. Overall, and compared to Elliot, he has weathered these little ages and stages fairly well. They say,”Oh, terrible twos.” None of my children were bad at two. Elliot was an awful three year old but Isaac has only shown glimpses of bad behavior this past year. I am hoping we can get to four here soon and he’ll be good to go. But not if he’s getting on red and lying about things. No sir.

Tonight I have to pack up the menfolk for their weekend trip. I am looking forward to Thursday night with Baby Girl. Just me and her and after 7 PM, just me… and the TV. Well, and cleaning. My mom will get into town Friday evening and we have no plans but it will be nice anyway. I need to regain some semblance of balance in my life. I feel like I have a headache every single day and I struggle to keep up. I struggle to feel alive in the face of all the to-dos. It’s not so much that I want something for me; it’s that I need slowness and time and the feeling that I have control of something. But maybe that just isn’t what being an adult is about. If so, then I do feel pretty bad for Elliot.

The End of WWTK

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RIP-tombstone

This meme is dead, sad to say. Not a lot of people linking up and well, I’ve become that host: the one too busy to keep up. It is my plan to resurrect it some time in the near future but that depends on two things. 1.) Finding a co-host and 2.) Revamping it to be something slightly different; new and exciting.

So check back often!

Random Tuesday – A brief reprieve

  • I actually turned down some grading work because I have just been so overwhelmed that when I dropped off finished stuff, I was so damned relieved to be done. I just couldn’t bear to take on any more.
  • I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders; I still have work to do tomorrow before 5 but for now, I can take a breather.
  • I’m writing this on Monday night and Bugsy is on.  I have a.) always been into the mob and mobsters and b.) been fascinated by Warren Beatty and Annette Benning.  He was such a player until he met her. You have to give props to a woman who can put an end to a man’s gallivanting ways.
  • I have decided that I could go the rest of my life only eating breakfast… for all meals.  I’m in love with it.
  • Seeing as how it is Fat Tuesday, I should be eating pancakes today.
  • But we’re eating pizza tonight.
  • I’m taking the next few days in stride; Ash is gone all tomorrow for work (will be home later at night), then my neighbors head out Wednesday (moving), then my boys and hubs leave Thursday. A week full of upheaval.
  • But on that note, I will have Thursday all to myself. Granted, I will be cleaning for my mom’s arrival Friday but still. Whatever will I do with myself?
  • Who am I kidding? I’ll spend the night watching dumb TV and browsing the web.
  • So I have been coerced into being the alternate for an on-going Bunco game. I know very little about how the actual game works; I know it’s about women getting together to gossip and drink more than anything. A woman Ash works with has a group but with any largish group of people, there’s usually one person who can’t make it. So that’s where I come in. At least this time – as opposed to last time – I have about a week’s notice.
  • You see, I am truly an introvert (though I can be very chatty) so I need time to get used to the idea of being forced to socialize. I only know the one woman so I’ll need to be in the right frame of mind to enter into a situation with some unknowns.
  • I didn’t have class last week because we did individual conferences and then we have no class Thursday or next week for Spring Break. Today is the only day I have to go teach amidst all that. Do I want to? Hell no. But I must. Off to prepare; see y’all on Wednesday!

Here, have some yummy. I am undone by beards and tattoos lately.a267908b9485f21fffdc8fc5fd0ee78284d9fb9e0ee42beaeed54bb326771cb78edfb034db21b21d88db32c269dfa69e96ba86db05edca7b611869979f8e1f4183170c49e74422be4d220b1da0d30995

Ok, let’s see how quickly I can bang out some sort of quality post before I have to work because OMG, do I have a lot of it to do!

We had quite a nice weekend. We’ve been working our way through both LOTR and Back to the Future with the boys so we did that throughout. On Saturday, I managed to clean up around the place and we went to Sonny’s for lunch. Naps were had and toys were played with; laundry was done.

Now Sunday, well, we got up and started doing stuff early. I made breakfast, started laundry, ran 2.5 miles, then Ash and I started pressure washing the house.  We have three sides brick but the back is vinyl siding. The neighbors have a nice pressure washer but well, they move on Wednesday. :( We found a way to break said pressure washer but we got them a new wand and went about our business. The house looks great now! I can’t tell you how else the weekend was good but it had an overall feeling of greatness. It was just not very stressful, let’s put it that way.

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I heart freebie weeks. So I’m gonna start with Jason Aldean – 1994. Then, I’ve chosen some songs from 1994 that I liked at the time.

That last one reminds me of living in South Florida SO much. Sometimes I miss it.

Yeah, I’ll tell you…

I feel like being very honest today; very bold, candid. I was going to tweet something about giving book recommendations  to a friend and fellow romance reader. It would go something like this:

All book recs to friend measure kink levels against @KresleyCole’s #TheProfessional. “There’s some but not like #The Professional!”

9/140

But then I couldn’t remember if family members followed me on there. Do I even care? In the infamous words of Eric Cartman, “Whateva, whateva. I do what I want!”

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I posted something on Facebook from Huffington about Mayim Bialik’s claim that breastfeeding is not a sexual act, because she was berated for feeding her baby on a subway. She said that was the best way to calm the crying baby and was what she felt best for the entirety of that subway car. I completely agree: we’ve sexualized women’s breasts so much that when they’re used for the most primal of acts for their child – giving sustenance – society sort of flips out. Those kinds of articles piss me off. A.) Mind your own damn business. That’s her kid and her choice to make. B.) Get over yourself if you think your opinion on her choices is important.  I was looking to pick a fight.

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I turn 35 in a month and I am totally OK with this. It’s not 40 – yet – and I don’t feel very old, thankfully. But I want to do something for it, if even just a night out with friends. I’m thinking about reserving a couch at Level 8. My problem is that I have two friends who I’d invite, and they know each other. They were a part of this group we had before people started getting divorced or moving away. But then there are a couple other friends I want to invite who don’t know the others. Do I try to get everyone together or is that going to be awkward? I remember the birthday party I had in third grade. I’d recently left a private school and gone to public. I made the mistake of inviting about 5 girls from my previous school and 5 from the current. They created factions against each other and I remember there being a lot of drama that I tired desperately to mediate. It was NOT a good time. I’m obviously not nine anymore so this can probably be avoided. We’re adults and we’d be drinking so, do you think I ought to just invite everyone? I’m nervous about this.

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I got into a discussion yesterday about whether or not it’s right to tell people your personal opinions on stuff. More specifically, it was about people who protest gay marriage and that kind of thing. What it all came down to was this: I really don’t give a rat’s ass if you think – inside your head – that gay marriage or being any other X, etc is wrong. That’s fine; that’s your right. But you do not have to go and share that with everyone else, especially if it’s going to lead to something as unproductive as a rally or protest.  Put it this way: I HATE Tom’s shoes. With a deep, burning passion. But I wouldn’t ever say to someone how their shoe choice is WRONG, because when they bought those shoes, I bet they brought them a good deal of satisfaction. And who am I to take that away?

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Now I did tell this guy the other day, who was smoking right next to the FSU is tobacco free sign, that we are indeed a smoke-free campus. The problem, you see, is that it’s not enforced. It is, apparently, just a suggestion.  But I have always been the kind of person who, although I may break the rules sometimes, my first reaction to that would be to obey the sign. I guess I would have been more mad if I were still pregnant. Because it’s just fucking rude to smoke around other people, in my opinion.

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I feel sick today and I’m in a shit mood; let’s see if I can make it through student conferences without being too punchy.

 

WWTK – A rainy day calls for good Qs

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–RULES–

1. Please follow the host

2. Include the super cute button in your post (grab the code above)

3. Link-up and spread the word

4. Don’t forget to have fun!

** Let’s try to spread the word about our Wednesday link-up. Tell your friends about us!** 

–QUESTIONS–

1.Tell us about your job or daily routine
2.Would you rather live in the city or the country?
3.Do you like to sing in the car, shower, etc?
4.Share some things on your bucket list.

5.If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?

–ANSWERS–

1. If you don’t count nights when Baby Girl wakes up to eat, I wake around 5:45, get the kids all ready for school then drive to a.) the younger ones’ daycare and then b.) Ell’s elementary school. Then it is on to FSU’s campus where I am a program admin for First year Comp in the English department. My job is kind of hard to explain; I deal with the grad TAs who teach and then freshmen as well. It’s one of those jobs where, depending on the time of the semester, I am either really busy or really NOT. So, I also teach a class here. On T/TH I teach for an hour and 15 minutes. I also teach online, so there’s upkeep on that. I leave around 4:30 and head home where I wash bottles, feed the dogs, and await everyone’s arrival. We eat dinner, do homework, watch TV, and somewhere in there, I probably fall asleep on the couch, wake up for an hour or two, then go back to sleep. Not a great way to be but it’s the truth.

2. Actually, I kind of like where I live now, it has just enough city things and just enough country things to be balanced. I have vacationed in the backwoods and I have lived in Orlando; I wouldn’t want to live in either of the extremes.

3. Admittedly, I sing in the car all the time. AND, I just read a study the other day that singing first thing in the morning helps you have a better day over all. I tell this to my oldest son when he complains about the singing.images

4. Let’s see, bucket list: Hike part of the Appalachian Trail, see Motley Crue in concert, get tattoos of my kids’ birth footprints, see the Aurora Borealis, finish this damned novel, meet some of my favorite authors, own a sandwich shop.Owls soda shop

5. In this case, I kind of believe in balance and “the way things were meant to be” but I would rid it of childhood incurable diseases. I wouldn’t get rid of all of them because I feel like there’s a reason people get ill but kids? Come on.