Random Tuesday – Any time the sun wants to come out…

Despite a rainy weekend, we’re having a great week and it’s an excellent time to get random!

Stacy

 

 

  • A wee bit late to work today because dropping Elliot off at the Y requires going clear across town. If I wanted it to be convenient, I would have just put him at the other kids’ daycare. But seeing as how he’s in first grade and almost seven, I thought it wise not to put him with all the four year olds.
  • He seemed to like the first day; they do so many different activities that he’s never bored, which is key for kids. Some of you know exactly what I mean!
  • So I weighed myself on Sunday and I am five pounds lighter than the last time I weighed sometime early last week. I highly doubt all of that is from being sick so it must mean that the combination of running/eating better/T25 are beginning to work! Like I said to Ash and in my last post about this workout: I don’t need to look like a model. Hell, I don’t even need to be super thin. I just need to lose the majority of the baby fat in my midsection and I want to get stronger, which is going to happen no matter what. This program works your abs like a beast!
  • I can barely remember what it feels like to put on a bathing suit and not feel self-conscious.
  • My wedding rings are loose now though, which is kind of like a small victory but also, annoying when I type.
  • SO, as my oldest son pointed out this morning, my birthday is in nine days. I’ll be 35. I want to get some of my friends together and hang out at Level 8 but I’ve been slack on finding out how much it costs to reserve a couch. I JUST sent an email trying to figure out when everyone’s free. The self-conscious introvert in me just had a slight panic attack as I hit send. What if they don’t WANT to hang out with me? It’s silly, I know. But I have always second-guessed myself.
  • Maybe, as I round the bend here on mid-30s, I should throw that crap out the window and focus on being more confident. In so many ways, I have. I don’t worry nearly as much about what other people think. My choices are mine and I almost always feel justified. But I need to go whole-hog and just be me. Be proud of who I am.
  • Wow, that sounded super cheesy!
  • Mmmm, cheese.30d68e5b30f76af57531b85491556906

Back from the dead + MMMM

Late Friday evening, a work friend of mine started a new game of Words with Friends with me and asked where I’d been. My answer was, “Dead. Mostly. Until tonight really.” Yes, I was out cold from about 11:30 PM Wednesday until 5 or so. I even still felt a little bad on Saturday. We did our workout on Wednesday night and I opened my early birthday present: a new vacuum. I vacuumed the living room then went into the bedroom around 10:30 to read. Around 11, my stomach started cramping and  then for the next five hours, I was in the bathroom, wrecked. My whole body hurt so much that in between bouts, all I could do was collapse back onto the floor. I pulled a large comforter in there and tried feebly to wrap it around myself as I lay down but I barely cared; so long as it was semi-comfy, I was ok. It was god-awful, people. This is a new bug going around that presents like food poisoning but then leaves you with flu-like aches and chills. I barely got out of bed Thursday and even Friday, I didn’t go to work and I got three things done throughout the entire day.

I was happy to be feeling somewhat like myself on Saturday. And able to eat normal food again. The two days before I ate five small containers of apple sauce and half a piece of toast. Anyway, Ell had baseball practice in the morning and we went to Sonnys after. I couldn’t eat as much as normal but maybe that’s a good thing. We napped and played outside and had spaghetti. I even went to Target by myself that evening, which was quite nice. OH, I forgot to mention that around noon on Friday, Dakota had to be sent home with a fever. Luckily, that was all she had. She was cranky all weekend but I think she fought it off.

It rained the majority of Sunday so we mostly cleaned and watched movies. We showed the boys the original Superman movie and we also finished Stargate, which we’d started watching nearly a month ago. It rained All. Night. Long. And it is still raining today. It didn’t help my Sunday mood. I found myself to be anxious and annoyed for the first time in a while; with three kids and so much going on, I barely have time to sit back and really be worried about stuff but there it was. I think my big fear was Elliot going to Spring Break camp at the Y. He does swim lessons there but other than that, I don’t know a lot about it. I mean, we’ve been inside obviously but after I signed up, there wasn’t any kind of day one instructions, etc. BUT, after I took him today, I feel a lot better. The guy running sign in obviously knows what he is doing and has done this before. Plus, other kids being dropped off had that same worried and apprehensive look on their faces as their parents let them go, and for some reason, that made me feel just fine. I know he’ll be good. The Y is a long-time trusted institution!

My mother is coming through town today on her way home from the Pensacola job. She might pick Ell up early and then she’ll leave tomorrow. I’m thinking Chinese food tonight because I don’t feel like cooking. I’m still a little put off food, even though it wasn’t actually food poisoning. I wish I hadn’t gotten sick over Spring Break; I took a break all right but it sure wasn’t fun!

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Well, for St. Patrick’s Day, I guess I will pick some songs about luck, what say ye?

T25 – What doesn’t kill me makes me… well, maybe

FocusT25

 

Shaun T says: get in there and focus! Ash and I started this on Monday so yeah, we’re  only on day 3. So far, I am feeling the burn. The first day was cardio and yesterday was “speed 1.0″, which was slightly easier in that there were a lot of yoga stretches. These  proved easy for me but Ash had trouble with balancing. I can tell you that I love the 25 minute countdown and the loading bar for each exercise. And last night went by so quickly compared to day one. I can’t expect every day to fly by but if they are so intense that they breeze by, I will be happy.

The plan is to stick to it as best we can. I like that we tend to do it after the kids go to sleep (so anywhere from 8:15-8:30) and then I make it past that 9 PM slump I was in for the longest time. I work out for 25 minutes, do a 2 minute cool down, rinse off, then go wash dishes and bottles or catch up on other little chores. This was exactly what I was looking for! I juts hope it can tone my body in the ways I want. I’m not looking to be a model; I just want to be thinner. I don’t need to have ridiculously defined abs; I just want less leftover baby flab. I want to go to the beach and feel relatively comfortable in a bathing suit. And besides, I didn’t think I was that out of shape until we started and I want to keep my health. I’ll be 35 in 15 days!

Random Tuesday – One step forward, two steps back

Well, I think Stacy is back today so we’ll be randoming it up in the usual fashion; yay!

Stacy

  • I gave Baby Girl avocado this weekend. That makes 3/3 kids who completely hated it. I, for one, LOVE it. And when I was pregnant with her, I had a major avocado craving at the end of my first trimester so I have no idea why she doesn’t love it too. ;)
  • I’m going to start watching True Detective, because everyone tells me how great it is. You’d better all not be wrong!
  • I gave myself Monday to do literally nothing productive in my office. It’s Spring Break and although no students are here, I certainly have enough I could be doing. But for one day, I mentally checked out.
  • Actually, I feel pretty happy this week. It’s been a while since I haven’t felt beaten down. I have some extra money and I’ve lost a little weight and yeah, things are good.
  • Last night, Ash and I started T25. It’s pretty rugged but I can tell it’s going to work and I am excited. I mean, it’s going to be hard, no doubt. But oh how I would like to lose this weight.
  • I am already dreaming about the beach. We’ve had a brief glimpse of Spring, which then makes me think about Summer and going to St. George. Who knows… my mom may end up in Pensacola permanently and when we go to visit, BEACH!
  • I wouldn’t say I am obsessed but I am really digging Ricki Hall. I may have mentioned that I am starting a new romance so I am doing research for my hero. He will be bearded and tattooed and yeah, he’s going to be awesome. I love the power of imagination: I can create whatever kind of man I want!ba1880463e70ed8ecda0bb31fe4bea9f3740f6f54fbda8ccb889e8af7cce6b83
  • Ok that’s it for my welcome back to Random Tuesday post. I am glad it’s here again!

MMMM + Excellent weekend (for the most part)

As mentioned last week,  I was solo parenting the baby while my men-folk were down in Orlando at my parents’ house. Let me tell you this: the hours pass very slowly when it’s just me and a cranky baby. It also made me VERY glad I have the family I do. I see now how much I need that crazy hectic loud evening-time every night. I LIKE that noise!

So, yes. My mother got into town around 8-8:30 Friday night. She came bearing Subway so that was pretty nice. I may fall asleep on the couch on a normal night but when my husband and kids aren’t there, I totally do not. But my mom and I retired around 10:45 that night. Got up the next morning, made breakfast and hung around until noon when we went to Masa and ate our weight in sushi. SO amazing. And Baby Girl was good, which is nice because it’s not the most casual place and since it had just opened, we were one of only three parties even there. After that, we swung by the house and then went down to the J.R. Alford Greenway. Sadly, we walked the old portion and didn’t realize how to get to the new bridge. But it was still nice; it was about 66 out and sunny, clear blue skies. We definitely got our workout! After that, we went into Costco, then on to Whole Foods. When we left there, my car wouldn’t start. I’m beginning to think it isn’t just a battery issue! It’s about once every three weeks, it just won’t start up. But it’s never the first time that day. It’s the second or third time I begin it. I don’t get it!

I was going to take the car into Honda today but on a forum, I read about another person having this issue but when they took it in and the dealership couldn’t replicate the problem, they blew him off. I am very reluctant to do it then but who knows the next time it’ll happen!

On Sunday we made a huge salad for lunch and my mom left around 4:30. Around 5:30, the rest of my brood was finally home! I know they were all glad the trip was over but they were all a bit cranky. I’m glad we’re relatively back to normal today though. Ash will go to Magic tonight and the boys will eat chicken nuggets and I’ll watch Bones at 8. Yeah, I need that normalcy.

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This week’s theme is “British Invasion” so I’ve chosen the first few songs that come to mind when I realized songs I already liked as a kid were part of that movement.

My dad used to say this was a song that reminded him of me and our relationship. It was a bit tumultuous when I was little.

And here’s another I loved. Once I saw the Help! movie, I was really  obsessed with the Beatles.

The first Stones song I ever liked.

And for fun, my favorite Tom Jones song:

Friday Confessions – Jump on it

I confess… I missed the level of care and detail I previously put into my blog. I am back now for a little while. I am not totally inundated with work so fun things may resume.

I confess… Though I did enjoy my alone time last night somewhat I also felt pretty lonely. On nights Ash is out, I at least take solace in the fact that my kids are there, sleeping. On my drive home, I had this weird emptiness because not only was my family gone, but the neighbors are gone too. They left Wednesday. Nancy will be back on the 12th but geez, that era is finished.

I confess… I am still hopeful that a nice family will move in. Knowing my luck, we’ll get an older couple who hates kids and dogs. UGH.

I confess… this is what I had for dinner last night: two biscuits, one with cheese on it, one plain, two fried eggs, and four pieces of turkey bacon. Not the healthiest but the tastiest!

I confess… I have to clean my office; it’s a hot mess. But with Spring Break next week, I will have some extra time. The idea of cleaning gets me all excited, to be honest. Good thing, right? Because I have a ton to do when I get home. My mom says, “Oh, you don’t have to clean for me.” But it’s a trap!its-a-trap-what-happens-when-advertisers-dont-meet-twitters-spending-quotas

 

The fear of not knowing

UGH. Ash is driving with the boys to Orlando today and he’s not answering his phone. One of the worst things EVER. He texted me to ask my parents’ address – obviously for GPS purposes – but then didn’t answer. I can only surmise that a.) he’s on the phone with his brother, who also flies in there today or b.) didn’t hear his phone over the laptop, which is probably in the center console playing a movie for the boys. Still, I just hate worrying. I worry a lot, though maybe less than I used to. But what’s a mom to do when 3/5 of her family is on the roads and it’s raining? I’m finding it hard to concentrate on work when I don’t know if they’re ok.

On the other hand, there’s a part of me that feels alright and believe they’re just fine. I think it’s my leftover Catholic faith that rescues me here. Sure, I may not be an avid church-goer anymore but I grew up in Catholicism and having a strong faith in God. I’m not a bible-reader or a volunteer in the church. I feel bad that I sometimes treat religion like a buffet – picking and choosing what suits me. But I put my mind at ease when I pray and I always remember thinking that if I took anything away from preaching as a child, that it was the power of prayer. And whether there really is a God or not, believing that he’s got my back and won’t let anything bad happen to my family definitely makes me feel a lot better.

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Not twenty minutes after crafting this post, I received a text. They were in Gainesville, stopping for lunch. I definitely feel a lot better.

Now I can work on the myriad things in front of me. I ate me a Jimmy Johns sandwich and the day is cruising along. I am looking forward to my evening; I can’t lie. It’s rare that I’m in the house alone (baby girl won’t count tonight ;) ) so I look forward to having my own time.

 

Crash

I feel like a lot of things are coming crashing down this week; small slip-ups, little failures; tiny stresses for everyone. On Monday night, we were that family in Target. I was the mom speaking in clipped phrases, hushed tones to her children. “Hey, put that down.” and “No, stop messing with the cart.” All the while, it was nearly 6:45 and Baby Girl decided that check out was the time to begin crying because of sleepiness. We left hurriedly, my children wondering if I was going to lose it any second. I managed to keep calm and composed, however.

Driving back, I looked over to see Elliot sobbing quietly. “What’s wrong?”, I asked. His answer was not what I expected. “I don’t want to have to be a grown-up someday and pay bills. I just wanna be a kid.” I calmed him and reminded him just how long he has to be a kid and not to worry about the future. He was quiet a second – doing the math – and replied, “I only have 11 years before I go to college! It’s not enough time!”

What seven year old worries about this? Now I worry for him because he’s a thinker and emotional and lets this stuff get to him. I had no worries about the future when I was a kid. I worried about doing well in school and making more friends and being a well-behaved daughter. But it’s like I knew better than to think of a time when I had to worry about much larger issues. I wish he could find a way to put all that away for a while.

Yesterday, I was on pick-up duty and when we got Isaac, we saw he had gotten on red at school. This is a very rare occurrence for my middle boy. He is almost always on green; yellow happens only every now and then. He seemed to feel no remorse for his bad behaviour, which is what bothered me even more. The final nail in the coffin was when Ash finally got home. He slipped in the back door and the boys didn’t notice until a few minutes later. Isaac comes running out, “Daddy, you’re home! I got on green today!” A lie! Isaac is the honest child, the one who never wants a spanking but if he must, wants to know if it will hurt and immediately feels sorry for what he did. So this is relatively disconcerting, though I tell myself it’s just a phase. Overall, and compared to Elliot, he has weathered these little ages and stages fairly well. They say,”Oh, terrible twos.” None of my children were bad at two. Elliot was an awful three year old but Isaac has only shown glimpses of bad behavior this past year. I am hoping we can get to four here soon and he’ll be good to go. But not if he’s getting on red and lying about things. No sir.

Tonight I have to pack up the menfolk for their weekend trip. I am looking forward to Thursday night with Baby Girl. Just me and her and after 7 PM, just me… and the TV. Well, and cleaning. My mom will get into town Friday evening and we have no plans but it will be nice anyway. I need to regain some semblance of balance in my life. I feel like I have a headache every single day and I struggle to keep up. I struggle to feel alive in the face of all the to-dos. It’s not so much that I want something for me; it’s that I need slowness and time and the feeling that I have control of something. But maybe that just isn’t what being an adult is about. If so, then I do feel pretty bad for Elliot.

The End of WWTK

Incognitus Scriptor

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RIP-tombstone

This meme is dead, sad to say. Not a lot of people linking up and well, I’ve become that host: the one too busy to keep up. It is my plan to resurrect it some time in the near future but that depends on two things. 1.) Finding a co-host and 2.) Revamping it to be something slightly different; new and exciting.

So check back often!

Random Tuesday – A brief reprieve

  • I actually turned down some grading work because I have just been so overwhelmed that when I dropped off finished stuff, I was so damned relieved to be done. I just couldn’t bear to take on any more.
  • I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders; I still have work to do tomorrow before 5 but for now, I can take a breather.
  • I’m writing this on Monday night and Bugsy is on.  I have a.) always been into the mob and mobsters and b.) been fascinated by Warren Beatty and Annette Benning.  He was such a player until he met her. You have to give props to a woman who can put an end to a man’s gallivanting ways.
  • I have decided that I could go the rest of my life only eating breakfast… for all meals.  I’m in love with it.
  • Seeing as how it is Fat Tuesday, I should be eating pancakes today.
  • But we’re eating pizza tonight.
  • I’m taking the next few days in stride; Ash is gone all tomorrow for work (will be home later at night), then my neighbors head out Wednesday (moving), then my boys and hubs leave Thursday. A week full of upheaval.
  • But on that note, I will have Thursday all to myself. Granted, I will be cleaning for my mom’s arrival Friday but still. Whatever will I do with myself?
  • Who am I kidding? I’ll spend the night watching dumb TV and browsing the web.
  • So I have been coerced into being the alternate for an on-going Bunco game. I know very little about how the actual game works; I know it’s about women getting together to gossip and drink more than anything. A woman Ash works with has a group but with any largish group of people, there’s usually one person who can’t make it. So that’s where I come in. At least this time – as opposed to last time – I have about a week’s notice.
  • You see, I am truly an introvert (though I can be very chatty) so I need time to get used to the idea of being forced to socialize. I only know the one woman so I’ll need to be in the right frame of mind to enter into a situation with some unknowns.
  • I didn’t have class last week because we did individual conferences and then we have no class Thursday or next week for Spring Break. Today is the only day I have to go teach amidst all that. Do I want to? Hell no. But I must. Off to prepare; see y’all on Wednesday!

Here, have some yummy. I am undone by beards and tattoos lately.a267908b9485f21fffdc8fc5fd0ee78284d9fb9e0ee42beaeed54bb326771cb78edfb034db21b21d88db32c269dfa69e96ba86db05edca7b611869979f8e1f4183170c49e74422be4d220b1da0d30995