I’m almost to 2000 posts written on this blog. I think Tuesday might do it, which would be cool, since it’s my favorite blogging day. I opted out of posting yesterday because I had a million and one things to do, though today is no different. Goal one: grade papers. Goal two: finish weekly plans for my Fall syllabus. Goal three: give mailboxes back to the three people I thought had graduated. Oops.

My run yesterday was 7 miles hills. But my watch got all messed up because I stopped it myself, instead of letting it auto pause, so I then forgot to restart it. Went a different route and it turned out to be close to only 6. I was kind of disappointed, especially because it took me roughly 80 minutes, but that included a bathroom stop and subsequent chat with the girl who works there. I think I could have done better. But I should also know not to take chances on new routes. Though it was interesting, I didn’t reach my goal and I was slow. That would be fine if I wasn’t training. I actually enjoyed going a different way. Oh well. It is what it is.

On my rest days, I tell myself not to think about running at all. And yet, when I sit at my desk doing work, I still subconsciously think about it. It’s a vague idea, barely even there, but it IS there and I kind of hate that.

We watched Lockout last night, the weird space convict movie with Guy Pearce. It was just OK; I drifted off during some of it for sure but it had some funny lines. I should let Ash pick the movies. (But then we would have watched Wanderlust, which I wasn’t in the mood for.)

I’d kill for one day without rain.

I’m slightly worried about West Nile Virus. Like, do I really need another thing to worry about?

The rain makes me sleepy. So sleeeepy.

There are loud sorority girls in my building and I want to kick them.

IS IT LUNCHTIME YET?

I grade a paper and submit it, looking down the roster for a student who I know will have written something halfway decent. I choose that one and swap tabs, looking for some other distraction.

I sip water, eat salt water taffy. I stand, stretch, look out the window at the trees, empty sidewalk, construction machinery.

My mind wanders and I think about being a kid and something Elliot said. I told him I used to play with dinosaurs and he said girls don’t like dinosaurs. I always saw them as a very neutral toy. The more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t really think of any specifically girl toys I owned. I liked Legos and Ghostbusters and that Monster Lab where you covered a skeleton in weird green goo that then dissolved in a vat of “chemicals”. I read a lot and I read girl-like books. But I didn’t do Barbies or Strawberry Shortcake or My Little Pony. I did own a pink Skip-it, until it broke. I guess I only really got into actual girl stuff when I became a teenager and started plastering my walls with only the cutest boys: Joe Macintyre from NKOTB, Edward Furlong, John Stamos. I had an extensive collection of Tiger Beat and BOP magazines. In early high school, I moved onto music magazines and anything that had photos of Pearl Jam or Guns and Roses.

Things haven’t changed that much; I still don’t really girly things, though I get pedicures a lot. Though not as often as I’d like.

I painted that for Elliot last week at a place called Firefly pottery. It was fun and he’s gonna flip when he sees it.

I still like dinosaurs and monsters and Matchbox cars. It’s a good thing I had boys.

For lack of anything else to post this afternoon, here’s David Boreanaz. This one’s for you.

Elliot and Ash at the mall; The solace of bed; Tree rings; Brick and mortar patterns; My sister in a pot, unhappy.

I’m still squicked by that TA who was arrested. It takes a lot to get me really skeeved… I mean, I’ve been desensitized to pretty much everything for a long time now. But an overwhelmingly dark and depressing feeling keeps showing up…now and then, randomly. I was changing Isaac’s diaper and got a weird tightness in my chest. How can anyone do that to a baby? How can anyone sexualize them in that way? There are no rational words. All I want to scream is “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” But perhaps the answer is that simple: there IS something wrong. Insanity, some kind of chemical imbalance. In this world there is good and evil and to me, that’s pretty fucking evil.

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Three days. In a row. That’s how long Elliot has gone to school and worn underwear. All day. With no accidents. He had one at home but he was in the hall on his way to the bathroom so I cut him some slack. I am sad to say he’s still being a little shit – behaviour-wise – but his potty training is coming along just swimmingly.

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Just letting you know:

Mon

Mostly Sunny

77°
53

Let me tell you how much this excites me. I’m excited!!

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I took Isaac to the doctor on Monday because we missed his 4 month appointment. You know why? For one, when Ash made it, they didn’t give him a little card. And then, they never called to remind me. Which they ALWAYS do. So when I called them, suspicious about it, they’re like, “Oh yeah we have you down as a no-show.” Bastards. But anyway, his appointment went well. His head is nice and average, which is shocking because we think it’s huge. Like, Mastermind huge. He’s 25th percentile in height. And of course, a mere 5th percentile in weight. My children are just tiny, what can I say? Elliot was the same way. But I have started the boy on jar food. yesterday he had sweet potatoes and god, you’d think he was starving with the way he pulled the spoon into his mouth and gobbled down that entire jar. It was insane.

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I just wrote myself a note and stuck it on my desk. It reads: Dear Self – Get to work!

• Like I said, this past weekend was completely nuts. I walk around my house and feel like my life has been broken up into a million pieces and there’s nowhere to begin putting it back together. There’s stuff everywhere and I’m off my schedule of cleaning and photo uploading and things just feel off-kilter
• I’m reading a book that I don’t find very enjoyable and yet, I keep reading it, thinking it’s going to get better. God, I can’t wait until October when this book releases. Damn, that’s a long time
• The  running is coming along well. I ran almost 4 miles back to back days but then I took two days off. Today I have to get back to it but honestly, I feel like there’s not enough time in the day to drop the kids off, work, go home, run, make dinner, and then take care of all those other little things. But I won’t stop running; I owe it to myself to keep going
• On that note, I left the house yesterday a little after 6 to run, feeling completely overwhelmed and annoyed by our current carpooling situation. I was angry at Ash and mad at the circumstances. I ran three and a half miles – which I have only previously done in 44 minutes – in 36. I was feeling a hell of a lot better after that
• I’m finding it hard to blog lately. It’s not that things aren’t happening or I don’t have insight… it’s just that I can’t even get the basic things done in my life, let alone spend time blogging. I am forcing this post…right now
• Besides, when I have free time I am either watching Bones or, now, playing Starcraft II
• I don’t want Isaac to hurry or anything but I would love for him to be about this age:
• Tonight, it is my #1 goal to get pictures off my camera and catch up. I have been absolutely awful about it and I think it’s contributing to my general funk
• I’ve sat on this entry ALL day. Time to publish

• I realized today that there are only 11 days until Christmas. Where is my life going??
• I really wanted egg nog this weekend but Publix didn’t have the small size; only half gallons.
• When I remember that the thing inside me is another little boy, I get extremely excited. Being a two boy mama is going to rock!
• Slow work week but so much still to do.
• I’m almost done addressing Christmas cards and I have got to get them out this week.
• This endless rainy, foggy, humid weather is sucking my will to live. And my Christmas spirit.
• The recap of my trip to the Florida state caverns will be up very soon.