What we do

Last night, Ash chose The Way Way Back and I didn’t want to watch it because I wasn’t in the mood to feel. I knew it would be emotional and I’ve been getting really good at living my life without letting too many emotions drag me down. But, I am glad we watched it because it was excellent. The final scene is cry-inducing for sure. We got in bed early and sometimes Ash and I end up talking a while on nights like that, which is nice because as most parents know, it’s nigh impossible to have a conversation when kids are around. You’re either too busy or getting interrupted. It’s also nice to reconnect when our lives are so busy. I mean, we’ve been pulled in so many directions lately, I barely know where one day ends and the next begins.

This morning was crazy because I forgot it is bike day at daycare so I had to go back. Isaac has a new bike so he’d be devastated if he didn’t get to ride it. Then I had to get into work, get coffee and breakfast, then prep for class. I am so glad it’s the last week but at the same time, a bit stressed about money. My adjunct pay will be over after the next pay period and it’ll be all pb&j sandwiches for me and being smart with what I spend. It’s like this every summer and I am so ready for something more steady, more reliable. I know it’ll happen here some day; I’ve applied a million places. And my sister and I have decided: this is the year that my parents and I all get new jobs. (My dad’s been looking for almost 2.5 years, she had a crappy one and quit but has had interviews.)

My mom just got hired at Disney but it’s only seasonal, for now. She’ll be a greeter at the Animal Kingdom character breakfast/lunch place. The process for getting hired was interesting. She applied for a research person – taking guest info and analyzing it – and then got invited to do two separate online interviews before getting called into the Casting Center. There, she interviewed with a woman who then gave her options for jobs that better suited her. So they actually try to place you in a job you want. How cool! My mom has been swearing she’d work at Disney one summer for as long as I can remember; bucket list item checked!

We’re excited for her because we might be able to get at least 3 of us in for free! But we’ll see; she might have some kind of probationary period. Either way, it’s pretty neat, to me.

Today I am grading papers and working on my website that I plan to accompany my resume. I got inspired to showcase and highlight my many talents (LOL) and I figure it can’t hurt to put that with the rest of my info. When done, I’ll let y’all see it. Anyway, just a random, mundane post from me today. See you on Friday!

Random Tuesday – Round and round

I’m not in a bad mood anymore; let’s get random!

 

Stacy

 

 

  • That’s right: I feel a lot better about life this week. Sorry you had to listen to me whine like a baby last week. Things aren’t always rainbows and unicorns -I KNOW – but I wasn’t doing a very good job of keeping my chin up.
  • SO, I am really liking this season of Game of Thrones so far. What I really love about that show (and the books, too, though I’m only one in) is that characters DO die and they change a lot and it’s pretty gritty. I used to hate Jamie Lannister but I have grown to like him. Though Sunday’s ep didn”t make me like him so much; you bastard. (He’s still pretty hot tho, right?)
  • April seems to be flying by, right? I mean, I can’t be the only one who feels this way. On the one hand, I want it to stick around – I make less money in May – but on the other, I want summer to come because my allergies are less severe.
  • I was pretty pleased with myself on Sunday, getting the kids to church. In November and December, we went a lot but then I dropped off again. It’s a constant struggle; I want to take them but it’s like a great many things that change once you have children: you cannot fully enjoy a place/thing because you’re tending kids. I tried my hardest to listen to the homily and take something away from the priest’s word though.
  • I really do think I am an introvert but I tell you, I am getting really good at socializing at these team sports. This is Elliot’s fourth time playing a city sport and I actually like getting to know the moms and dads while the kids play. Last night they played the first team they played – who creamed them – but they totally killed them this time. Elliot scored!
  • I am really proud of him for not letting his attitude keep him down. He is easily discouraged but he keeps going out there and trying to whack the crap out of that ball… and then he does.
  • I tried a drop of lavender essential oil under my tongue today because it supposedly gets rid of allergies. I’ll report back. Initial observations: it tastes like ass.
  • OMG; it’s the last week of classes. Granted, next week are finals but that doesn’t affect me. I am ready for a break, I tell you that much. I am way stretched way too thin.
  • We’re going to the beach again on May 10th, btw. Big thing, lots of people. Can’t wait! Here’s a pic of us last year:8872889120_e466154388_z
  • I was about 30 weeks pregnant!
  • Even though she’s going through a really annoying sleep regression right now – up at 1:30, happy while I’m holding her but screaming in her crib – I still like her better on the outside of me. LOL.
  • She’s going to learn the true meaning of “cry it out” until she gets back on track because I cannot be a milk bar for hours on end.
  • I’m getting excited about our annual June vacation, though it’s about 2 months away. Even if we don’t go into any Disney parks, I’ll be happy just being at the hotel. I want to chill by the pool all. day. long.
  • Alright, work to be done before going to class. I hope you all have a fantabulous Tuesday!

MMMM + A weekend that I made work, somehow

I can tell you this: I am happy to be at work. I may have mentioned last week that Ash had to go out of town this past weekend and I was none to happy about it. He had made a commitment and when the people involved changed their event to Easter weekend, there wasn’t much to be done. It didn’t mean I had to like it. Grumble grumble. Night one was fine; the kids got to watch a movie and I got some household things done. I didn’t sleep all that well though.

Woke up Saturday and Ell was being a punk and the weather was total trash but I still managed to get them to the Easter egg hunt that we like to do in one of the local neighborhoods. I somehow managed to forget both my camera’s memory card AND my phone so no good pics BUT, a nice lady offered to email me some, which she did. Each year, a couple houses grow their grass long and set up two places, one for big kids and one for little kids. Last year, both boys were on the same side but not this year! Isaac had to go it alone but he did pretty well: he found the golden egg! It’s always empty because the person who finds it gets a giant chocolate bunny. Good job, little man. This was pretty much the main catalyst for Elliot being God-awful. He was sad he didn’t find the golden egg on his side, he claimed Isaac had more eggs than him, and then, even though I got them Chik-Fil-A and let them have lemonade and some candy, he was still all, “We never get ANYthing!” I don’t even know how to teach this lesson. We don’t give them hardly anything, to be honest. In fact, they get less treats than most kids I know. So when he DOES get stuff, I don’t know why this is the reaction. I’m stymied by this.

I made them take a nap before we ran a few more errands but overall, they were just not the best they could be. Maybe I was oversensitive to their semi-bad behaviour, but still.

Sunday morning they got their Easter baskets (seemed pretty happy but not overjoyed) and then we braved church. I looked up times on the church’s website to make SURE, and we chose 10;15. I got us there by 9:40 so we could park and get a seat. Well, turns out they changed mass to 10:45. They apparently put it in their bulletin but not on the website. I guess this serves me right for not going very week. Anyway, my kids were actually good for church. So I guess I really cannot complain. They sort of disintegrated as the day went on and even after Ash got home around 2, they were a hot mess. BUT, the evening ended with steak, mashed potatoes, and grilled corn and they were in bed by 8. MUCH needed sleep. Ash and I were also exhausted so as soon as Game of Thrones was over, we got in bed as well. Too bad Baby Girl woke me up 3 times! She must be going through some funky phase, probably just a sleep regression but oh, how it does hurt us!

So yeah, here I am at work and trying to get started. Lord knows I have a ton to do!

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This week’s theme is “a little bit country, a little bit rock n roll.” I know I can come up with some good ones here. I’m going to choose some categorically rock songs with some country in them.

CCR!

 

I kind of hate Kid Rock but this fits:

 

And here’s an opposite: Jason Aldean and this song, which I think is more rock:

 

Writer’s Workshop – My how things have changed

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1.) What were you writing about last year at this time? What has changed?

Below, I will post my Random Tuesday from April 16th, 2013, then break it down.

  • Random acts of violence really bother me. Especially bothered by the fact that it affected runners and spectators of a running event. The racing atmosphere is one of unity and fun; not the place for bombs. I’ll be really interested to see if they can track down the culprit. I’m thinking someone much like the Unabomber.
  • In other random news, I watched this show on the Nat Geo channel last night all about how the 80s made America what it is, down to the good and the bad; mostly the bad and the whole “me” generation stuff. I kind of miss those times sometimes; be it because of the economics or the fact that I was a carefree kid.
  • What I didn’t know was that when the Romanian leader allowed the Who Shot JR episode of Dallas to air, the Romanian people wondered why they didn’t have all these cool things like Americans and they revolted against him and overthrew him. Huh? Who knew the affects of Dallas were so far-reaching?
  • I just beat level 102 of Candy Crush; I honestly thought I might be stuck there forever!
  • Last night, I let the dogs out and there was a small green frog on the glass door. I think I scared him when I opened it; he jumped about 5 inches and then this stream of liquid slowly dripped down the glass. Did I scare the piss out of a frog?
  • Temps in the low 90s today?? We skipped right from Winter to Summer, apparently, though we got the pollen crud from Spring. Not fair, Florida.
  • I miss Boston Market. We used to have three locations; now we have one but it’s not in an area I drive often. Now and then we’d get it for dinner and as I get deeper into this pregnancy and don’t want to cook, home-cooked type meals are more alluring, especially if someone makes them for me. Le sigh. The good places always end up closing down.
  • I didn’t think it was appropriate to have Man Candy today so I present a… patriotic image, in light of the recent tragedy  Happy Tuesday, folks.

And I included a picture of Captain America. So it looks like I was ranting about the Boston bombings and rambling on about other random stuff in my life. I can’t believe I was on 102 of Candy Crush; I’m on 268 now! It was hot then but today, it is 54 and beautiful. Seems like the weather is a little wonky this year compared to last. I looked up what I wrote about the day before and here are some highlights:

  •  Ell’s game was at 10:30 and it was wonderful weather: sunny but not hot, breezy too. His team “lost” but I figure it was payback for the butt-whooping we gave them last time. Promptly afterwards we went home, changed, made some pb&j sandwiches and hit the road. We decided to go all the way (all one hour and 50 minutes!) to St. George Island. In spite of the wind, it was still really quite wonderful.
  •  We watched both Old Yeller and An American Tail.  Isaac is going through a can’t sit still phase though so movies are a little on the outs for him

Isaac watches movies now, Ell’s team is winning games, and we went to the beach and it was cool. But for the most part, it looks like we’re doing all the same things! We have sports and movies and beach trips and relaxing and family. Now we just have an added body. I was at a particularly good phase of pregnancy in April; I felt good and able to live life normally. Now, I am free of her inside me but burdened by the fact that an infant is rather demanding. This morning, for example, I was in the bathroom and it’s by far the worst time to be indisposed. The boys are getting ready and whining about stuff and they want breakfast and then SHE wakes up and it’s not like I can just up and vacate the bathroom to help everyone. The boys can wait but an crying baby is all like, “Come get me now before I pop a lung here!” But I am happy with where my life is.

To be honest, reading my archives from last year has made me realize just how good we have it. I’m in awe of how my outlook has turned around. Writing this post has been wonderful!

On letting things go and being a better person

I admit it: I lost the desire to work when I thought I might change jobs. I couldn’t MAKE myself feel better about doing the work; it had to come as part of the logical progression. In time, I started to feel a little more motivated (granted, this was a small amount of time.) Yesterday was my low point. My back is still giving me fits so I left and went directly home, running a hot bath, using a face mask I got for free at that oils party, and reading a book. After, I put one drop of lavender oil on each temple and fell into the most blissful sleep. When I woke, I went to Publix and then home to catch up on the baskets of laundry I fail to put away, day after day. That four hour stint by myself was exactly what I needed.

I came into work today and the office was having a pot luck breakfast/birthday thing for our department chair. It was nice to converse with those people because the sense of unity we once had has been corrupt ever since the last office manage left. The only person I consider to be my friend up there – the one I thought was mad at me – is clearly angry at those other folks. She didn’t participate and this made me sad but you know, I can’t let that bother me. That is her issue to deal with.

I got mad at Elliot this morning for being so negative about pretty much everything people said. But I realize I have been like that for about 2 weeks now. Ash and I always tell the kids to have balance in their lives. But I am just as guilty here. I’ve been unpleasant, unmotivated, and angry. I’m allowing myself to tip the scale too far on the work side of things and it’s taking away from the rest of me – the mom side, the wife side. I guess the first step is realizing it though.

What I have been, mostly, is sad and anxious. I keep thinking that something will turn my mood around; I’ll find a new job and that will be the answer. But I guess what I have to do is make something happen. I know I whine on here quite a bit about breaking out of the funk but as always, there are peaks and valleys. I felt great this morning but as this afternoon wears on, I feel less and less human. I type, I read papers, I check Twitter. My brain barely computes what I am seeing. I take in knowledge, my mind drifts. My ideas are like marbles rolling around one of those old wooden Labyrinth games; plunking into tiny holes – traps – and disappearing.  Not long to go now and it’s home to fix quick snacks and run off to baseball. My life is a crazy mess but I should be thankful that it is this and not something awful. I am… I am…

Random Tuesday – Rain, rain

It’s a horribly rainy day but let’s get random!

Stacy

 

  • I went ahead and canceled lass this morning; it’s not until 9:30 but I had three student emails about this storm and at some point, it’s not worth fighting.
  • Today is Isaac’s birthday! I’m in denial that he is four. Before BG came along, he was my little baby and I was positive that he’d always be my baby. But he’s a boy now and I have to let him grow up. Despite being a terrible infant (crying all the damn time) he’s actually been a lot easier to handle than Elliot. He is super sweet and squishy and thinks he’s Legolas and he loves to build things and work on outdoor projects. He’s the polar opposite of his big brother and I love him to pieces.12707484725_fd8311a4df_b
  • I have this sinking feeling like I have pissed some people off but I cannot fathom what I did. You’d think by the age of 35 I would have learned to forget that petty stuff but it still picks away at me.
  • I guess I have had a few open mouth/insert foot moments. My brain is fried, people. I cannot think logically anymore.
  • My back is still giving me fits; it has to be the sciatic nerve but I just cannot figure out what will make it better.
  • I’ve been kind of curmudgeonly lately and I think I am unbalanced. I need to find a way to bring balance to my life. The jobs and that stress is unhinging my ability to parent and enjoy life.
  • But I’ve been whiny long enough; happy Tuesday!

Excellent weekend spent my way

Whew! Got into work 10 minutes late and had to immediately dive into a huge project. I just finished up but I was busy every moment. It was kind of nice, actually.  But now my wrist is hurting; damn typing. Occupational hazard.

Anywho, my Saturday was wonderful. We got up, had breakfast, then packed up and headed to St. George Island. BG slept the majority of the way so our trip was semi-peaceful. We got there around 10:30 and though the air was a little cool and windy, we got a great spot and as the sun rose higher, the temperature was perfect. The water wasn’t even that cold so we all were able to get in. I tanned and drank beer (though the state park frowns on that) and the sound of waves lulled me into a kind of work amnesia. I could actually enjoy something; I’d forgotten how. I didn’t do a thing that night but then, Sunday, all work awaited me.

I had papers to grade and a house to clean; laundry and cooking and more yardwork. It was busy but productive and we finished the evening with Game of Thrones. I have not read the books so big things that happen always are a surprise.

We found out that people bought the house next door. We only ever saw one couple there and they were pretty darn old. The people who supposedly bought it moved here to be closer to their kids and grandkids. So it may not be the people we saw but it is still an older couple. The woman who lives on the other side reports that they were very nice when she talked to them so we’ll see. It’ll be interesting to see how old their grandchildren really are. Here’s hoping!

It’s warm today and though I have a lot to do, I am longing to go outside. A Dunkin Donuts opened right by campus. I started walking earlier but I ran into this group of hippies protesting the fees they have to pay for their grad classes. Don’t even get me started but suffice to say: a higher education is not free. Now that they’re all over in front of the capitol, it might be safe to go in search of a donut. Hope everyone is having a fantabulous Monday!

Friday Confessions – Life goes on

I confess… I got some “bad” news yesterday, if you can call it that. I suppose it’s just a bump in the road. I had my moment of disappointment and moved on. I am a firm believer that things always happen for a reason, even if that reason is not apparent.

I confess… it’s actually kind of nice to move forward. Not knowing about the above was actually making me a bad worker. I’m a lot more focused now.

I confess… when I got to my friend’s house last night, she gave me a look and pressed a beer into my hand. It was nice to have that. And I ended up buying lavender and lemongrass. We’ll see how they work. I got the lavender right away as she had one there but my lemongrass has to be ordered. It’s supposed to be good for back pain. They had another blend of oils specifically for sciatica but it was – ahem – 71 dollars! No thanks!

I confess… I’ve resigned myself to the allergies. I surrender, pollen. You got me. My eyes are in a constant state of red and/or itchy. My nose is runny, I sneeze in the middle of the night. BUT, I learned last night that a drop of lavender under your tongue supposedly helps. We shall see…

I confess… I have lots to do and I want it to be the weekend so let me get after it. Have a good weekend everyone!

 

More random stuff – I do love me some bullets

  • I find myself sort of enamoured by sea glass. I know you can’t find it naturally much around here except for maybe in the Fernandina beach/Amelia Island area near Jacksonville. I looked up how much it sells for on ebay and am amazed at how much people want for that! I guess if it took you a while to find it yourself then labor makes up part of the cost.bottle_of_colors_feb_2013
  • I also keep browsing handmade signs on etsy that are beach-like in nature. Things that pronounce Beach house rules, as if I have one of those! I have this dream that my parents will have money soon and we’ll save up and all of us will rent one at St. George for a week. And we’ll spend all day in the sun and we’ll have fires and pinics and when the kids are asleep, the adults will sit outside at night, sipping beer and watching the stars, listening to waves lap the shore. And in the morning, the first thing we’ll do is wander down to the water… because we can. I’d say this is either #1 or 2 on my current bucket list.il_570xN.440783556_8d7r
  • I’m feeling pretty burned out so I guess that’s where this desire to escape to the beach or into some kind of craft is coming from. I don’t want to grade papers, I don’t want to talk to grad students, I don’t want to have to think!
  • I need a change. I need new scenery. I need new challenges. If you know me at all, you’d wonder where the real me went because normally, I thrive on stability and reliability. I expect things to stay status quo at almost all times. Not to say I can’t be spontaneous but I like things to be content. Something is changing in me.
  • Maybe this is a good thing. I feel like I can envision this precipice upon which I stand and look out onto a shift in my life. 9706736558_732c8a2048_z
  • I’m going to an essential oils party tonight. You know, like a Tupperware or Passion party. I usually go to those things with the intention NOT to buy anything. But I may actually try some for my back pain. I guess it can’t hurt and I know a lot of people who support that homeopathic remedy solution. Anything to alleviate this pain; anything.
  • I don’t know why I do it but I’ve been torturing myself by looking at the aforementioned vacation rentals. So cute! So close to the water! I can just image being away from it all! There’s this feeling of longing that is just so foreign. It’s rare that I want something as much as I want to take a weekend and just unplug.

A partial list of the innards of my brain as I work

 

  • Why does the 2nd floor smell like someone horked up hot dogs?
  • Shoes… I want to buy shoes.
  • Beach; let’s go there, even if the water is cold.
  • Remember that time we went and got all tan? There was a smell on my skin – “sun-kissed” – and it was sultry and wonderful and it reminds me of brushing the sand off my feet and the beer I drank once the kids went to bed.
  • Ugh; no more papers. Please, make these all just disappear.
  • Sometimes I just want to say, “Screw you guys, I’m goin’ home.”
  • God I am so busy; why am I blogging? Really, just waiting for that moment when I realize that thing I thought I forgot. And it’s going to be a total “oh shit” moment.
  • I’m eating salad in a minute; salad is good for me. It’s totally not going to fill me up.
  • Mmmm… Snickers calls to me.
  • Man, I am suddenly really tired. I’d kind of like to lay down.
  • I wish it were warmer today. I just want to lay in the sun. I’ve been cold all damned morning
  • Really? I’ve only graded 8 papers? It seems like so many!
  • I feel like I’m losing my mind.
  • “Y’all gon’ make me lose my mind; up in here, up in here.” Ah, DMX. Where did you go?
  • Dear students, please stop making lame excuses.
  • Dear weather, please pick a temperature and stay there.
  • I’m taking a mental vacation now. Claire out.