Friday Confessions – at the end of a long week

 

I confess… This week has felt very long. With all the baby stuff and extra things at work, etc, it’s just been a lot of craziness. I didn’t work out much this week because of it. I did day one of the 21 Day Fix but I hurt my leg doing surrenders, which are just ridic. I leave you a vid below just so you can see.

I confess… Ash did day two yesterday but since I mowed the lawn – with the bum leg – I opted out. We’ll probably start fresh on Monday from the beginning anyway. My mom and dad get into town tonight so who knows how busy the weekend will be.

I confess… I really let rush week get me unreasonably angry this week. I said rude things to sorority girls, I bitched about it on facebook, and in general, I was just very curmudgeonly about it. I just hate how they swarm this area of campus and get in my way. I just can’t stand it.

I confess… I really need the 1/2 day today. I mean, I have been all-out stressed and I need a break.  I need a beach day, honestly. It’s supposed to be straight up 100 degrees today and tomorrow. That’s not even the “feels like” temp. Just the normal. Some of the hottest weather we’ve had this summer.

I confess… how is it possible that our copy machine breaks the day before we really need it? It is partially my fault – I was changing the toner and the little latch that holds it in would not click into place and it won’t read that a new toner is in there. I just hope the guy can solve the problem without additional parts because omg, what horrible timing!

I confess… I just cannot stop listening Her Town Too by James Taylor. It’s just such a good song; such a catchy little beat and a feeling of sadness but always, hopefulness.

I confess... I may have done a dance when the copy machine guy fixed it. YAAAAAAY!

I confess… I’m both looking forward to and dreading this upcoming start to the semester (and my two online sections) BUT, I know in the end, it’s all going to be just fine.download

Rough days

As we sat in the lab waiting area, she had no idea what was about to happen to her. She laid in my lap, relying on me for comfort and looking at the other people. She made little happy sounds and waited like a good girl. But then, we were called – “Miss Dakota Smith!” – and I placed her on my lap in a different kind of chair and held her legs between mine and her right hand down tight. The nurse tied a blue rubber band around her upper arm and the look on baby’s face was something contorted in horror as a small needle went into her vein and how that child did howl. It went on for what seemed like an eternity. The blood was not flowing fast enough and the sheet requested three huge vials. A second nurse arrived and helped to hold her arm at just the right angle. Once one seemed depleted, they switched to the other and that one was better. But it must have been a solid ten minutes of crying. Towards the end she was getting tired and would hiccup and stop for a second before starting again with the wailing and shaking her head no. Finally, they were done and we had to leave that place, each and every old person staring at us, silently saying, “So THAT is the baby who was screaming.”

I’m a firm believer in getting things out of the way all at once so we headed to Radiology for her bone age Xray. That was ok, considering. The building is nice and they have a play area; we only waited five minutes.IMG_20140820_083551

The scan was only of her left hand and was over before it began. In the car, Little Bit fell asleep and I realized just how stressful that whole thing had been. All three of my children had to have blood drawn when they were infants. With babies, they take it from the heel and the child recovers fairly quickly. I’ve done it; I’m strong. But this? This was ten times worse. I physically had to come down from the adrenaline that had been rushing through my body. I took a shortcut back to the daycare but there was a random bus broken down in the middle of the road, causing me to take a much longer route.

When I got her to daycare she seemed happy to see her friends; she appeared to be no worse for wear and toddled into the room and claimed her seat at the table for snack time. Feeling like that was finally over, I went on to work where I encountered more traffic issues. It was dorm move in day so I waited – I kid you not – ten entire minutes to turn a corner to get to my parking lot. I could see the lot the entire time and the one spot left. I was losing my mind! Finally, I got parked and walked up the side of Diffenbaugh towards Williams and I found myself lost amidst the hordes of wanna-be sorority girls. Thick they were, everywhere and not a lick of sense to move out of the way for people. If you weren’t 17, wearing the identical dress as 15 others, or sporting utterly non sensible shoes, you were excluded and ignored, which means I plowed through the throngs. When I got to my building, they blocked every inch of the stairs leading in and I broke. I said, “Come on now, people work here. You can’t block an entire entryway.” When some muttered, “I’m sorry”, I totally said, “No you’re not.” And I went in the building as fast as I could and got to my office. I realized I was shaking. I was upset about the baby and then all these traffic things and these stupid entitled girls and I just couldn’t cope. Sitting down at my desk to do work was the most calming, most zen experience of my morning.

Today is better. In fact, yesterday got better. Ash wanted to go to a co-worker’s going away thing right after work so even though I felt at the end of my rope (the rest of my work day was not so zen-like) I got the kids and just kept plugging away: dinner for baby, take care of dogs, make food for boys, try to be involved with them as well. I drank some beer, enjoyed being home. When Ash did get back, I clocked out.  Took a bath, read this kind of bad/kind of good YA novel called Nero, and then I did dishes and laid on the couch all. night. long.

It always seems like these sorts of things come up when my life is already so busy that I feel like one more block on the stack will make everything topple. I know it’s a test; I grew up under the pretense that God always tests us but never gives us more than we can handle. So I just figure, I can handle this. Perhaps I will get results on Baby’s tests today. Perhaps it will be something we can fix and maybe she is just small. Maybe she is petite and will become an amazing gymnast.  I don’t know what they will say but I am making sure I am prepped to handle whatever the result is. I have to, or else I’ll sit here and worry about every little thing. And that is no way to be.

 

Random Tuesday – If it weren’t for being attached to my neck, I’d lose my head

 

Stacy

Back to school… back to school…

  • It’s nice having the kids back in school mode, but they were both a little exhausted yesterday.
  • Elliot had a make-up swim lesson from a rainy day last week but, um, his instructor never showed up. We walked right into that pool, he got the green neckband (for good swimmers) and he swam a good twenty minutes. We’re not even Y members! We could have been cheesing that out and no one would even know.he had a nice time just swimming about so that was cool for the end of his first day of second grade.
  • Meanwhile, I have just a few days (Monday) until college begins again and the craziness will be upon us. I’m trying to remind myself to take each task one at a time and not think too far ahead. I tend to think that way and then start to feel overwhelmed.
  • Let’s add onto that a little bit of worry. I don’t honestly think it is anything but Baby Girl has to have some blood work and xrays tomorrow because she has fallen off the growth chart. Though she has gained weight, she began in the 50th percentile and now she is off the chart. She is tiny, like my boys, but they were consistently small and she steadily declined. The Xray is for bone age so it is possible she is not properly absorbing nutrients. Her body may not be utilizing them correctly. Let’s hope she’s just an itty bitty thing and this isn’t anything major.
  • I think my parents are coming into town this weekend. Thursday, actually, though they’re going to go up and see my uncle and probably do some other little trips. But then they’ll be here to entertain my boys and give me a reason to clean the house.
  • We finished T25. I could start over on Gamma but I think we’re going to do this one called 21 Day Fix. It looks fairly difficult in some ways but they also give you multiple 15 second breaks, which might make it better. I’ll let you know how it goes.
  • I feel like everything is becoming so imminent that I want to just tackle it all head-on. Like, bring it on so I can deal with it and put it behind me. Does that make sense? Maybe I just don’t deal well anticipation.tumblr_m7qsxfFJ5r1rupw36o1_400
  • Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I can’t hear that word without thinking of that.
  • Well, that’s what i have going in the land of random today. Hope everyone is dealing well with back to school and/or the upcoming back to the grind. Happy Tuesday!

When things get out of hand

So I was off Friday and that was pretty nice – the menfolk went to see a movie and then us women met them for lunch. I took Elliot to his orientation and then we all napped. The boys had a make up swim lesson that night so dinner was choose your own adventure but it was a good day overall.

On Saturday, I was straight up in a bad mood. I found it very hard to get motivated to do anything at all. In fact, it wasn’t until after nap and lots of TV that we really did anything. No, wait, that is not true. Elliot and I went to  Target early to get all his school supplies. I wait on his until I make sure his teacher wants what is on the general list. In the past, it has been slightly different. So yeah, we got all that and THEN I did nothing. But once we napped and went to Publix later in the afternoon, the day picked up. Ash and I had some beers and we grilled hot dogs and hamburgers. Everyone was happy. Around 11, I heard baby girl crying so I went to check on her. She had a full diaper (she’d been having some issues so I’d been feeding her bananas and apples sauce for a couple days) so I was surprised by that. Anyway, she went back to sleep but intermittently cried, which she sometimes does. But she always went back to sleep.  Around one, I heard her making some weird noises, kind of like choking sounds. I went with my gut and went in there to see she’d throw up. It didn’t seem chunky but she definitely puked. SO, Ash gave her a bath while I cleaned up. She threw up one-two times every hour until 5. I laid with her out in the chair in the living room, watching bad TV. She would thrash about, cry, puke, then  be exhausted, dozing off for maybe 20 minutes before doing it all again. Poor thing! She finally stopped throwing up and fell asleep at 5 and stayed asleep until 7. FYI, I slept on the couch for maybe 45 minutes between 10 and 11 but I was up until I first heard her at one. So the next time I got any sleep, was those two hours in the AM. By 7, the boys were up and I put her in her crib, feeling pretty confident that she wasn’t going to hurl anymore.

And she didn’t. Around 10:30 she woke up happy and I fed her a bit of breastmilk. It stayed down. Throughout the day I was cautious and she had water and toast. The sleepiness didn’t catch up with me for a while; I ran out to get a pedicure around 11:45 (Ash kindly took over) and maybe about 3 I fell asleep on the floor of her bedroom while she played. The menfolk were all doing their thing and I was exhausted. I think I might have slept for 45 minutes? Then I woke up and finished laundry and made a lasagna. She was definitely better because she had more toast and a banana and managed to down 3 ounces of formula before getting to sleep at 6:30. A bit early but she needed it. And me? I made sure I finished laundry and all but I dropped out at 8. I fell asleep on the couch until 10, then crawled into bed and slept soundly until 3:30… when I was wide awake. So I got up and had some water, checked email, checked on the baby, then forced myself to sleep some more.

I really needed that sleep because today, Isaac starts VPK, Ell had his first day of second grade, and in about 25 minutes, baby girl has her one year check up. (A little late, I know.) After that, I get to go to work! Just writing all that makes me feel tired. A mom’s life! So that’s what we’ve been up to. No MMMM this week; I have to do a few things before we get on to the doc. I hate going to the pediatrician so I need to muster my patience and all that.

Friday Confessions – My girl plays with trucks

I confess… I am blogging from home today. The daycare is having a teacher planning day and that is also where Elliot was this week, before his school starts on Monday. So all children are home. Ash is home too but he’s taking the boys to see Ninja Turtles in the morning. Depending on BG’s nap schedule, I may join them for lunch. I know I should try to keep her new middle of the day nap but if she starts to lose it in the morning, I don’t know. I may just let the daycare deal with that next week.

I confess… Dakota is in the living room playing with a fire truck and some army men. It’s not like she knows the difference. When she gets old enough to have an opinion, she can pick toys she prefers. Though, who knows? She might want to be a fire…person. Oh… now she is playing with Superman. I approve.

I confess… I have been super tired lately, packing it in between the 9 and 10 PM hour. I realized last night that I think what is causing this is my knowledge that very soon, we’re all going to be very busy. I feel like my body may be subconsciously storing up. Monday Elliot begins school, Isaac starts VPK and Dakota goes into the one year old room. But she has a doc appointment in the morning so it will just be busy for me.

I confess… I am a little worried for Elliot. My friend texted me this morning who his teacher is; the school posted the rosters last night on the front doors in case people couldn’t make it to orientation later today. I texted Ash who it is and he said Elliot proclaimed her to be “the meanest” one. LOL. I doubt she is but now I am a bit stressed. We’ll see later today when we meet her.

I confess… I am grading papers and I am way too lazy to put up the meme pic and link. I hope you all have a great weekend. I just have way too much to do right now.

 

New meme – Patchwork

 

 

1. The best part of waking up is _______________________________.

There’s a brief moment before I am completely aware of my surroundings and I haven’t yet begun to listen for Baby Girl when I feel totally and utterly calm. That is the best part.
2. Given a choice, which animal interaction would you most like to experience (or for you non-adventure lovers…which would you dislike the least?)

I don’t know if this is even a choice somewhere but I would love to hang out with koalas or sloths.sloth-meme-generator-hey-lil-sloth-how-ya-doin-8d058c

3. What is something you fear about old age? Something you look forward to?

I suppose it’s losing my physical ability. In some ways, I don’t think it’ll be that bad because I have always had my grandfather as an influence. He is in his late 80s and still gets around great and rides his bike! But my grandma pretty much sat around for years and hence, moves very little now. What an awful life.

4. Hot sauce…are you a fan? If you answered yes, what’s something you make/eat that must have hot sauce? On a scale of 1-10, how hot is too hot?

No, not really. As in, I don’t put it on things. I do like spicy wings, to a degree. But just enough spice to flavor, not overpower the taste of the food.

5. It’s been said that children learn what they live. What do you think children learn at your house?

Oh man, they probably – unfortunately – learn that yelling is a way to handle things. LOL, my bad. But seriously, I hope they learn that talking about things is healthy and that we are a team; family is forever.

6. What’s your favorite movie with a number in its title?s

Oooh, hard one. I really like Ocean’s 11.

7. Saturday (August 16th) is National Tell A Joke Day…share one here.

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t talk for an hour?” The hubby replied: “Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life.”

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

My parents, sister, and her b/f are at Disney today and I am jealous. That is all. ;)

 

 

Used to be her town

I’m on this Google Earth kick and currently – between grading papers and checking Facebook – I am driving east on Hollywood boulevard towards the ocean. I just passed the former Hollywood Mall and the train station. Now I am in the area where there was a liquor store. My dad went in there a c0uple times a year to buy things for my grandfather. James Taylor’s Her Town Too came on Pandora and I find my heart aching for the feeling of being little and riding in the car down this palm tree lined road. It’s unnerving how well I can remember being young and what that felt like. I know so many people who put their past in the past and don’t utilize anything from their childhood. I use it to identify with my children and to spawn good feelings/good moods.

But I am already in a great mood today; as I posted on Facebook, we saw an amazing rainbow between rainy clouds all the way to daycare. Then I got sidetracked trying to photograph it and took another route. I ended up parallel to Thomasville on the other side of town and decided to ride Meridian to Monroe and then on to work. And somehow, I got all green lights. I mean, the entire way across town! The key now is to hold on to this good feeling. Music helps – my Ambrosia Pandora station likes to play James Taylor, Player, and Air Supply. All of this culminates into a feeling of belonging. I used to belong to Hollywood and, for a time, the Orlando area. There are songs I identify with those places and when I look at the same places on GE, I am instantly transported back. It’s an amazing phenomenon that this technology can aid in memory.

What also helps is being productive. I’m tying up some loose ends and working on my Fall syllabus. In a few hours I’ll go to Target. Shopping always lifts my spirits, even if I’m only purchasing undershirts and shampoo. Plus, I get time to myself. Shopping alone so very rarely occurs. I almost always have one if not two OR all three kids attached to me. And any parent knows: it is not easy to take them places. Sometimes they’re wonderful: behaving and quiet and grateful. But for the most part, herding them and wrestling them into any kind of submission is nigh impossible.

But they aren’t always bad and I have to remind myself that things really are great. And I must tell myself that just because it got all cloudy and sad outside, today is still going to be amazing. Today IS amazing.

Closing, opening

I have read a few blog posts lately wherein the writer was keenly aware that the summer – as it applies to the school year – is coming to a close and everything feels so very imminent. Backpacks and supply lists and Fall sports… it’s all coming; knocking at our doors. But I also read a few about how this mindset cuts off valuable “summer” time and activities. I said it earlier this summer: we could still go to the beach after August but why don’t we? The weather will start to get more bearable and the beach will be perfect. We so quickly give up the summer dreams when school begins because so too does the drudgery. I love the new semester in college – everything is so new and full of hope. But it quickly becomes day after day of WORK. The kids feel it too: homework and they’re tired and we just have less usable time to just hang out.  But I think we utilized our summer pretty well in that aspect. We hung out, we sunbathed, we hiked, we dallied, we goofed off, we ate and drank. I imagine that as the kids age, it’ll only get better. And though Fall is upon us soon, I look forward to the years to come.

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Random Tuesday – In need of new blog prompts

Stacy

My my, this month is going quickly, eh?

  • So I am in a few Facebook groups for things like “I grew up in X city” but I hardly ever post because once you do, you get all the notifications and it’s ding ding ding all day long. But I posted something yesterday that got a bunch of people started, mostly because no one could agree on which mall this one store was in. It’s funny: I remembered exactly. Unless my memory has totally failed me… but I pride myself on remembering a lot about my childhood.
  • There was a farmer’s market and seafood store my parents often went to and this road beside it was so rural, it surprised me. We lived in a very urban area and to see a wide open field complete with an actual barn always amazed me. I looked at Google Earth and found that this area has been turned into a new housing development. Of course.
  • I guess the problem with Google Earth – for me – is that I go back to see places I once visited and they’ve mostly changed. So it’s just sad.
  • But I am emotional this week. Small things make me incredibly sad. Someone posted a link to this video of Jeopardy answer fails and I just felt bad for all those people.
  • Then I saw an article about this sad dog who had been through all kinds of torment. This made me feel bad that our dogs get kind of ignored sine the advent of children. Sure, I still feed them and give them their monthly meds and we do try to walk them often but man, it’s hard to give them the same attention they once got. I mean, kids take up so much of my time and energy.
  • I had a dream last night that I was living in an apartment with my college roommates, except we were just as old as we are now. And everyone was where they are now. Like, K is a runner so she left early to do a 10 mile with her dog and C’s husband was apparently out shopping but her little sister was there, though her sister was like, 8. Her sister was 8 when we were in college! T was there too but not around much and I kept looking for my family. It was a weird weird dream.
  • We don’t have stairs but look how cool this is!91d1980fe4eda3954434c016bfcbf57b
  • That would be awesome – maybe in our next home.
  • Now that my money troubles are better, I feel the intense desire to shop. I don’t NEED anything though. I mean, I can’t think of one single thing I really need. Now wants, on the other hand, are a different story.
  • That’s all for now; I have work to do and I also brought some reading to do. Amazing; I might get to read!

 

MMMM + One of the better weekends I can remember

As I sit here, quietly sipping my coffee and enjoying the fact that NO ONE is around this week, I find myself both exceptionally grateful for the life I have and reminiscent. If you checked in on Friday, you may have witnessed my decline into stress/money-related whining. Well, all problems have – technically – been solved. Had I checked my email at 11:30 AM on Friday, I would have seen that my second online section got approved so money worries are over. I did not, however, check until about 7:45 that night and when I did? The boys and I had a mini screaming party. I was all like, “Yes!! Yes!!!” and then when I yelled in excitement, they yelled and used it as a reason to jump around like fools. It was a hell of a lot of fun and such a huge relief.

But that was after Ash and I went to Cracker Barrel for lunch and saw Guardians of the Galaxy, which WAS as good as everyone is saying. Pretty awesome!

On Saturday we woke up and had breakfast, worked out, then I mowed the lawn. We went to Sonny’s for lunch, Target after, then once everyone went down for naps, Elliot and I went to the Goodwill bookstore. He’d been begging me for more books so he got 3 and it cost me… $5.50. Sweet deal! We all ended up napping, then having chicken tacos and watching Hobbit 2.

Sunday was also good: breakfast then more mowing  (Ash did his portion) and errands before having a quick lunch and going to the pool. It was cloudy on and off but we still got in a good two hours and everyone had fun. And I got to work on my tan. ;) We finished up the day with steak, mashes, and corn for dinner and the rest of Hobbit 2. After the minions went to bed, Ash and I watched Lone Survivor, which was not really very good but it did make me realize two things: 1.) I do not want my kids to join the military and 2.) I am very grateful for the folks who serve our country.

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This week’s theme: #1 Hits on the Billboard Top 40 from the Rock Era 1955-present

I chose to look at 1990-1993 because, as it came up yesterday, I used to sit and listen to Casey Kasem’s Top 40 countdown each week on the radio and record the songs I liked. So a lot of these will be similar and also, familiar to my teenage years.

Blaze of Glory – Bon Jovi – 1990

Ahh Scorpions – Winds of Change – 1991

And November Rain – GnR. I was a huge fan.