SO, this weekend was both good and bad. Ash and I had our normal every-other-Friday outing but we argued because I was in a bad mood and pissed about running. Really, the entire weekend had a theme of failure. I’m not going to go into details but Elliot no longer has toys in his room – he’s in the process of earning them back – and I am no longer doing a marathon. I am just too far behind and Ash is right: I don’t want it enough. I ran 8.5 on Sunday and yeah, I maybe could have done another 2-3 but I was supposed to be on track for 18. There was no way, not with the appendix set-back. Not only did it set back my physical training but mentally, I just sort of hit a sand trap. And I can’t lie to myself and get out there only to have a really awful torturous run because I don’t have the mental wherewithal to finish. And yeah, I already paid for the race and that money is as good as gone but I have to eat this one.
On the one hand, I hate that I am doing this and not pushing through. On the other, I know I have to do what is right for me. I have my husband saying maybe I can just push through the rest of training and then the last 5 or so miles of the marathon will just be super hard and then my mom on the other side saying cop-out stuff like the appendix isn’t your fault and you can make whatever choice you want. Argh! I am so torn I wish I could just go hide somewhere and read and forget that I have decisions to make.
There were some really good moments in the weekend. But for the most part, we were all a little sad and disappointed. I still think I will do a marathon at some pint but this entire training session was just not even off to a good start. The early weeks were really tough. So my plan is to keep running – of course – but train up for about half marathon distance. Then I will do the Pine Run, which is 12.5 miles and trails. Well, it’s mostly grass with three really steep sand hills at the end. If I can swing it, I’ll do the Boston (GA) mini again and try to PR.
Football kicked off this week as well and we had one of our friends over, had burgers and fries, and watched TV basically All. Day. Long. We did play some baseball and take a walk with the boys – they weren’t totally ignored - but for the most part, it was all football, all the time. And I love it.
Fall is on its way: though today’s high is 85, we saw low 60s this morning and I got my first hot coffee in quite a while. This is so exciting! Fall is my all-time favorite season and I am pumped for cooler runs and sweater weather and Halloween.
This week’s theme is songs you listened to as a teenager. I listened to a lot of really random stuff but I will choose three that remind me of moments as a teen.
Slam – Onyx
Between 8th and 9th grade, I went to Canada with a friend and on the drive home, we kept thinking about this song and how it had been a long time since we heard it.
Captain Hollywood – More and More
My friends and I listened to a lot of techno; it was really good in the early 90s!
Stone Temple Pilots – Wicked Garden
Grunge was in full swing when I was a teenager so we also loved that, even though it is so different from the other songs!
And also, this fits into the Spin Cycle!